Lately in my school I been hearing my friends/accquintances asking out girls in the past and those they want to go out with in the future, and I asked them has a girl ever ask you out. All of them said no! Now am left with this curious reason of why it such a rare or nonexistant thing to see or be heard. So I like to know the reason why for girls on this forum and how often does it happen to the guys of this community.

Er, because guys aren't my type.

Unhelpfully, etc.

It is a common occurence for women to ask me out, often accomponied by underwear and flowers being thrown at me and hysterical screaming and crying.

Perhaps because girls have an especially...http://cdn.popdust.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/bug-eye-girl-fan-bieber.jpg way of going about it.

Because I never have courage to "ask people out" they must come to me or I never talk to them unless I can't find something, need assistance of dire urgency etc... It turns out many are lazy/expectant/demanding/ otherwise and want you to go to them, at least that is what my friends, family... almost everyone that brought something similar to this up. Unless, there is someone who is craving intercourse (a.k.a horny as the void is unending) then they come to you and drag you to bed 40 min. after meeting you.

Again, from tales of the "others" and not myself.

Edit: THEN AGAIN... there are the stalkers...

Guys are supposed to ask them out. That is just how it is.

Huh, I think she's cute, albeit slightly manic. Although being a Bieber fan is alarming.

Does it make me less of a man because my first date started out with a woman asking me out? Or...... does it make me god?

It definitely happens. A girl has never asked me out personally, but it is usually painfully obvious when a girl is interested in you. Girls used to ask guys to dances back in my highschool as well (not often, but it happened enough that it wasn't surprising).

Cultural gender roles and expectations may play a part in it. Maybe not so much these days, but it may still be a factor.


I don't agree with this. But a lot of people just assume this has to be the way things are. There really isn't a good reason to believe this idea, but people do.

It's kind of like the belief that men need to pay for everything on dates or that the husband should be making more money than his wife.

Not as much, at least not recently. When I was much younger, many years ago(I was 18), I was asked out a few times in Brasil. I guess now in America(I am 20), I don't get asked out at all..

Erm...nah. There is no supposed to about it. It is expected for a guy to ask a girl out, but it isn't something that i supposed to happen.

I have gotten asked out plenty of times. It really is not that rare of an occurenece for girls to ask guys out. It is just exceedingly rare for some girl a guy is interested in to ask him out.

I swear i had the 'I am within your reach but am still a prize to be sought after for inane reasons' look. Lots of nice girls i had no interest in dating needed to be turned down. I got asked out only once by a girl I was interested in. However the manner in which she did it made me not want to go out with her. Sticking her tongue in my ear in the middle of art class....I am trying to draw a Jaguar Warrior woman!!! Ahh sophemore year...

Oh gawd, lol, subtle

I thought it was customary for girls to give direct wet willies to males they have an interest in. But seriously, what?

Sometimes all it takes is a feather, sometimes you need a sledgehammer... and sometimes you have to break out the tongue.

Looks like am going to have weird creepy dream tonight, thnx a lot.

You see that what gets me really mad and confused. Women got equal as men so I assume the girl asking out the guy also comes with that, but when two people like each the women suddenly bends the rules of the right to suit her purpose in the relationship.

No, see, "equality" never meant that you change gender interactions and how society as a whole works. It means having equal voting rights, and job pay. Very legalistic.

No amount of "equality" is going to override evolutionary bias towards confident alpha males.

Not uncommon here, most arent caught up with the stupid dating conventions of men asking, ive even known women that have asked men out for other things than a date, when i was a child it was the only accepted thing for men to ask women, and its nice to see such archaic ideas being wittled away.

<---This guy right here.

Had a girl have a crush on him in High School, showed it every day, everyone saw it. Guy didn't see it,went through an enitre year thinking she had indigestion etc. Was oblivious to her making remarks etc ( that he later learned from friends) and went on living life playing games as-normal ( if you want to call it "normal") until that year ended when someone told him he had some girl who had a crush on him follow him around everywhere. She actually look nice ( as in she wasn't " throw on clothes don't care if it has rips across the crotch w.e lets go!" or not " I need to fix this part of my skirt, this part of my blouse, this part of my necklace, have my hair done JUST RIGHT WORLD ENDS IF ITS NOT RIGHT AND I GO IN PUBLIC, and get some 10 hour-long beautification in-progress." and she was actually intelligent, some-what introverted like myself, and pretty much everything else I look for in a person.

I'd say it's fairly rare, especially if you're school age. When I was younger the fear of rejection stopped me from asking guys out, and the fact that it's the norm for boys to do the asking meant I didn't feel any pressure to put myself out there, plus it could be seen as horribly embarrassing for the girl to ask. Now I'm older I have asked guys out. I remember at school though if someone "asked you out" and you said yes you were automatically boyfriend and girlfriend. If that was how it worked now I don't think I'd ask anyone either!

I think the best advice I can come up with, is to do what makes you happy. You will drive yourself nuts waiting for good things to happen. Screw worrying about convention or expectations, if there is someone you want to be with, do something about it. I guess you weren't actually looking for advice, but I agree with you.

As hard as it is for guys to be put on the spot to make things happen, I think it is equally (if not more) frustrating for the girls out there. To really want something, but feel pressured into being unable to pursue, must be torture. At least this stereotypical BS gives men the choice/options. Girls are kind of left out hanging in the wind.

How I met one of my girl friends, was rather, forward.

I went to a friends. She was there. When I left, I said to my friend "I am going to go home and have a shower". She said "I'll join you".

I wish I knew more like her. I feel all creepy approaching women. Didn't help when I started to talk to a woman on the ferry and she quite literally jumped up and nervously walked away. All I was doing was being friendly. Jeez. Made me feel like a total creep.

I assure you, I am not a creep. Just shy/awkward. (Less so now but now I am also older and crotchety.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxEZ08v1hXM

The closest thing I've had to a girl asking me out is she telling my friend that she liked me and him telling me to talk to her or he'd kick my ass. So I went out with her but we only became friends. Wasn't my type.

Yup, girls asking guys out is a rare phenomenon and there are many real reasons for that.

There is (generally) equality in the letter of the law. Law, however, has limited/slow effect on culture. Real feminists aim to remove things like your gripe there, aim to make the world a level playing field (as far as is possible).