Something that's always bothered me: I try, to the best of my ability, to be as honest as possible with people I'm dating (or having a fling with), but this seems not to be a priority for many people.

I don't think I've ever lied in a relationship... I just can't bring myself to do it. Sometimes this gets me in trouble, but I like to think it adds just as much value as white lies and placations; if not more value. If a woman asks me to "rate" her, I'll be honest. If she asks me about her cooking, I'll be honest.

As for omissions. We all omit things to some degree. Me? I just don't care to share trivial info if it doesn't add anything. I won't omit something that is significant, though; that, I make known when/if I discover it. E.g. if a fling thinks we'll be an item, and that's not what I want, I have to make it clear that isn't the case before pursuing.

And cheating. I would never, ever cheat on anyone; ever.

How honest are you in relationships? (If we could, let's keep judgments about other people's honesty/dishonesty out of this thread. I'm just curious.)

Rule number one in relationships: Lie about her cooking if it's bad, if it's good eat it and smile.


I'm honest besides for things that would get me in trouble, unless it's really terrible that she must know. Sometimes you gotta lie and say things she does is good. It keeps the world going, and you're both happy.

EDIT: The rule only applies if you are early on in the relationship, wait until you've been together for a bit before all honesty is spoken.

Unless you're like me, and are honest pretty much about everything.. And I mean everything. Sometimes she thinks im joking when I tell the truth, I just smiled and laugh with her.

My girlfriend and I are very very honest with each other. Even if something just doesn't feel right we are open with each other about it.

I don't mind white lies. I make them myself, and I'm sure the girls I've been in relationships have made them as well. But I've never discovered anything later on that they hadn't told me already. And I've never lied about anything crucial. I think in a relationship, people should accept each other for who they really are. A lie won't get you far, sooner or later, the truth is going to come out and on that day, things are going to get very ugly.

My husband & I have been together for 25 years. Not speaking your mind all the time, and not minding the occasional "white lie" is what keeps us laughing and chuckling. The thing is, after so long, you know you're both "white lying" or lying by avoidance, so it becomes a sort of joke itself. Of course, I'm talking about the small everyday things. There are "big" topics/issues where not being honest could be a death knell of a relationship, but that doesn't seem to be what you're talking about.

But even the "small stuff" is akin, imo, with the notion that being able to read people's minds sounds awesome in theory, but would be quite awful in reality. Honesty is a good policy, but there is such a thing as being too brutally honest, all the time. imo.

Nope always honest for a simple reason you lie and get caught, its worse than if you'd told the truth, and if your cheating and trying to have two or more going at once your a scumbag, and if its because the one your with isnt meeting some requirement you want in a relationship then you shouldnt be in that relationship.

I can understand that 10 years into a relationship, you might just humour each other sometimes. It would be part of the fun, for me, at that point.


I'd agree. I sometimes cross the line.

Yes, being brutally honest will kill a guy.

Hence why I tell some lies here and there, then again my I really have no morale- I'm not religious, in fact I would probably be considered atheist.

I'd grown habit of rather get her wondered by remaining silent than being brutally honest. I can never lie to a woman XD

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth.

I tell white lies. Things that wont hurt their feelings. But if it is something big, I tell the truth.

Yes, and I believe this is the best policy to be honest.

I do this, too. Sometimes, if I know it'll really offend her, I won't say anything at all.

Depends. If the girl had a history of deceit, dishonesty and cheating, I might be a bit paranoid and more prone to doing the same. Although I believe what comes around, goes around. If she cheats and I cheat, then someone will cheat one me. See where I am going?

I have alot of female friends, and I tend to keep in touch. But I would never cheat on my girlfriend unless she broke up with me or cheated herself. Then I can call up the other girls and have a one night stand. Because I believe if I cheat on her while I am dating her, karma is going to come back and bite me in the ass.

Really it depends on the girl. If she is [censored]y, mean and a horrible girl, I might cheat on her with a good girl. But if she is a nice girl, lovable and decent, intelligent young woman? No way in hell would I cheat, because I love girls like that. And they don't deserve to be cheated on.

Well sometimes you need to lie. We're all human and make mistakes, but sometimes pissing off your girl and telling her the truth about something she doesn't want to hear...Isn't the mistake you want to make.

I always tell the truth, brutally if need be. I expect the same from my bf - though I'm quite aware that he uses "white lies" all the freaking time. Even in my relationships with my friends - they know that if they ask me something, I'm not going to lie just because it's what they want to hear.

I know some people consider me a you know what because of that, but I see no reason to lie about anything. My bf told me when we first started dating that my cooking absolutely svcked. Guess what? 6 years later, I'm a pretty darn good cook and even complete strangers tell me this. If I'm wearing something that makes me look like crap, I"d rather someone tell me that BEFORE I go out into public. (Though most of the time I don't really care.)

I guess sometimes people think I should "fib" a bit, but I'd rather my bf know that I have nothing to hide. Maybe I'm just different.

I wouldn't really cheat ever, maybe if she cheated on me, but even then I just don't do that. I would probably have a few choice words with her, tell her to have a nice life (in a different way..) and just go on with your life.

Uh.. what? If she's not nice then why would you continue to date her? Just break up and move on. Same if you get cheated on. The "you did it to me, so I'll do it to you" is a rather childish stance, imo.

I believe in "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

Not really childish, more like a balanced stance.

http://youtu.be/AvMTifNOVrg .

I have limited bandwidth until next month. I've bookmarked it for future viewing, though.

White lies and seeing through them is a mark of closeness.
Though really only if both are in on it, if the lie is just shielding yourself it gets messy.

Funnily had / having this kind of discussion elsewhere.
Runs deep, just because you think you're honest does not mean she / he / it will think so.
How much honesty can someone take, how much will they give.
If you're over honest "I love you, please be mine forever!" it could cause a freak out.

I tend towards honesty, have great difficulty lying unlike others.

Basicly where I was getting at, 100% honesty in realtionship doesn't always work. Not everyone can handle the truth even if it is 100% right on and sometimes one has to tell a lie in order to spare someone from really getting hurt. Basicly there comes a time where you have be 100% truthful then there's times where you have to bend the truth a little.

Heh. My girlfriend literally told me less than an hour ago that if I ever lie to her about something important we're done. And my girlfriend in particular seems able to handle brutal honesty very well. So I think I'm just going to be as honest as possible with her.

Me and my girlfriend/future wife are vey honest with each other. There's little we don't know about eachother

I'm pretty damned honest. Sometimes too much so and I'll kick myself in the ass, but I'd rather that than have a lie kick me in the ass.