I'd be interested to hear your stories, maybe you've been in a simmiliar situation.
I hurt my GF's feelings from time to time without realising it -sometimes it is a poor choice of words, sometimes misenterpretation of her actions or words, sometimes it's lack of attention from my side...
I try to make up for it, but there aren't many opportunities to do so because of our hard Uni work schedule and her strict mother who didn't even let her hang out with her friends(or me) on a New Year.
Basically previously in life i've been screwed over but it seems now it's me who's hurting people.
Basically it's reached its boiling point and we were on the verge of breaking up in the New Years eve and now again I've misenterpreted her intentions and she's under impression that i find Mathematical anolisys/Calculus more interesting and attractive than her.
She reminded me that she's given me my last chance already and I guess I've blown it.
I feel like a pig and it angers me I can't even do anything even though I love her. I try hard to pay attention to small details of her behaviour but I can't just get inside her head so I misenterpret her I guess.
Soryy for venting. It's just NY has been quite a disaster...
Have you been with a simmiliar situation with a girl?
Oh and BTW for those interested this is not my first account so I didn't just register just to make this relationship thread.

From what I am understanding, it sounds like you guys never understood each other or explained what you meant when there was ever any confusion/misinterpretation. Its all about communication. And just because it is a "relationship" doesn't make it any different. A relationship is fancy word for saying friendship when it comes to boyfriend-girlfriend situations. If you treat your "relationship" as a friendship, which would mean communication and understanding of each other and placing friendship-esque values over the perks of having a relationship first. Then it should be smooth sailing.

In the later cases it was too late. I misenterpret her, I say hurtful stuff, she of course blocks me out or lashes out as well, and it just happened too much I suppose.
I've always tried to undersand her and after each little conflict I talk to her and I start understanding her more as a whole, but I suppose I've hurt her too much, she just doesn't see the point if we have so much problems communicating, so much pain for her to experience. I'm very bad with understanding people. I can talk to 'em, make friends with them, sometimes comfort them, but deep friendships are always tough. I kind of scratch the surface and stop there, even though it seems to me I'm at the bottom of an ocean. I'm outgoing but can be a dike sometimes(without knowing it).
I'm also not the only person who gets on her nerves - her relationship with her mom made things really bad for her emotionally.

If you don't understand then she wasn't being clear enough. Don't have her make you feel like [censored] just because she couldn't express herself towards you properly and instead expected you to pick up on everything in some vague game of gestures and wordplay.

In any case, by the time you're in university the two of you should be able to dictate your own lives. If she is letting her mother control her on New Years it sounds like she has some big issues with speaking up against others and she's probably been mulling over every little thing you've done without trying to resolve them. But I say probably since I can't be even half as sure about her as you can be. It's you who knows her IRL and it's you who can best deduct what to do. And so far you've brought up no clear examples of how you've mistreated her so are you certain you've really been mistreating her or is she just saying you have ?

Yeah I've been thinking the same thing - no clear examples. let me provide some.
The first one is obvious - not enough attention. I had a concert coming up - I'm a bassist for a rock band and we had our first gig in a small club. Ok, I had to juggle study and band practice so it made me lose concentration in my daily life and honestly I sometimes had to spend less time on her than usual, which upset her and resulted in tension. Understandable.
The second one is when she was very cold to me all day and I assumed she was angry with me for something I did and I asked her what the deal was and she didn't answer and [censored], she didn't even say hello to me that day. I got frustrated and by the end of the day when she cme up to me all cheerful like nothing happened, I told her that I was angry with her for her behaviour. It turned out she was just very nervous with her Chemistry test which she passed, and after that got back to normal. at least that's what she told me. But my reaction(being angry) was enough for her to be mad at me.
The recent one was when, again, she didn't want to see me/talk to me because she was nervous about studying and again I thought something else. Again I got angry.
The most insane one was when I was walking her to her bus stop and stopped on the way to talk with a teacher who helped me greatly to study for the Uni entrance tests. Apparently she was already on the verge of a nervous brekdown and me stopping for chit-chat was the last straw - she really wanted to get home. I asked her to wait 1 minute - i just wanted to thank him again and say hello - but she stormed away leaving me in shock and awe.
After that one our relationship really started to crumble...

yeah btw Ellert you're right she's a pretty passive person. My habit of charging problems(interpersonal included) head-on doesn't sit well with her.

Well, she seems like her emotions are already messed up. Course what I do in that situation is wait it out. Or if you are like me and can't wait, have a deep talk with her. Now with that you have to come up with words. Be careful if you do that though, it can have very good endings to very bad endings. Ex. She tries to cut your balls off with a knife. That almost happened to me.

wow, holy crap. Sorry to hear that.
yeah i like having deep talks too, but when I try that she just wants me to back off. Only option is to wait it seems

If neither or only one of you is being clear and upfront in a relationship, then nothing good will happen.

Well, no offense to any woman who read this, but then in-[censored]-sane.

when she's really pissed off she doesn't give any info. That's whats going on now pretty much.
Otherwise we can talk about anything - no secrets, no games.
Also recentely I got all emo and told her that I was a horrible person with no hope of becoming normal she should just leave me.
She did.
Lol.
We got together again after that, though.
Damn it's a mess.

I've had a few like that. Of course when I had the deep talk with two of them, One of them calmed down and the other one, well let's just say I don't talk to the other one...

I have this happening to me a lot. From female friends, but also from my sisters that I’ve know my whole life.
There tend to be a different focus on social situation depending on your gender. You always hear the jokes about women expecting men to be mind-readers, and there is some truth in that. Women are generally very emotive orientate and usually empathically better than men. (And some are just dramatic) They usually expect you to know exactly what is wrong with them and if you have to ask, they believe it’s because you haven’t care enough to know them very well.
The only real thing that helps is what has already been said. You need to have a more open dialog about your feelings so that you have a chance to figure out why she act the way she does and so she can understand that you really care about how she feel

that part I really didn't realise. thanks

It kind of sounds like shes one of those girls who reassures herself that you care by angering you and worrying you, because after all you wouldn't be angry or worried if you didn't care, and with some girls (mainly the bat [censored] crazy ones) any attention is good attention. If you've tried to talk to her and get a better understanding of her and she backs off then that is her fault. Its kind of hard to form a relationship with someone when they wont let you. Im not trying to empower you or anything, but there are times, too, when bratty children need to be put in their place.

I don't know how much any of that applies, but there's my advice.

Just start watching what you say, or think of ways to express what you want to say in a good way. Word choice can make or break your point/opinion. Just ask her to have a talk with you, and lay all your cards out man.

This. Stop trying to read her and then blaming yourself for not being able to. It almost seems like you're the only person in the relationship here.

Got to ask: was that irony or?
If not I can give you my way to calm the beast.

Usually I always make sure that the girl I’m dating knows I svck (as a man) at reading a person’s feelings.
When the fighting starts or I notice something is brewing, I try smoothing it up a bit by being overly corny or something like that. (This tells the creature that you are meaning no harm) or I stare into her eyes (and if she spitefully comments on it, give of some childish response like “no you look stupid”) they usually end up smiling a bit because of the suddenly silly situation and you can start having a more down to earth talk. (Beware that they tend to get really annoyed that you made them smile) then I (looking them in the eyes) remind her that I don’t read minds but I really want to know what’s wrong. (Depending on how irritated they are, followed by a hand on their shoulder, they tend to respond very well to being touched and hugged)
Now it can go two ways. Either she tells you what she really feels and why, or she’ll go with something like “nothing is wrong” (this is a lie!) look into her eyes when she says this. If it’s not how she feels and her mood are a bit lighter after the joking around, she will look sheepishly down or away. You follow this with a “are you shuuuurre nothing’s wrong? (If the reader is feeling brave and adventures he may even try to guess at this point. But, by Talos’s beard, just make sure you get it right) she should, at this point, tell you what have been bugging her or at least that something is wrong and you have the ability to talk about it and make sure she feels that you care. If she doesn’t tell you….

May the gods have mercy on your soul.

It sounds like there's a fairly major case of not communicating going on here. Hard to know the reasons why, but it's never fun having to second-guess someone all the time.

I know that feel bro, I can't say my latest situation was exactly the same but I did/said things that upset/hurt previous girlfriend without knowing it. I can think of a couple things that usually were small but always ended up hurting her feelings. I usually wouldn't call her on my breaks as she is normally asleep for my first break and just waking up on my second, well one week she had to be up when I was on my first break and I wasn't calling her on those breaks and it was apparently hurting her feelings every time. I ended up finding all this out after going through the whole "whats wrong" process after I thought she was acting a little distant.

Another thing and this kinda aims at your "I try hard to pay attention to small details of her behaviour but I can't just get inside her head so I misenterpret her I guess." was my previous relationship I could never ever tell when I needed to show affection. I have never seen anything like it, I could lean over to give a kiss and she would pull her head away like I had a disease or I would go to hold her hand or wrap my arm around her and it would essentially piss her off. Ten minutes would pass and she would be hugging me and asking me for a kiss and then getting mad if I didn't hold her hand long enough. I never managed to get it down when she wanted me to be affectionate.

no irony, man. Thanx

Awesome. I’m helping.

Communication failure. Welcome to how my breakup turned out. You're not hudini. You can't read minds. Don't beat yourself up. It takes two to tango.

You don't wait for a sign though. You just..do it.

Well, if this is a girl problem venting thread, I might as well throw in my two cents. I just finished my first semester of college, and this girl and me have been attached by the hip and spend all our free time together and have both admitted to having feeling for each other. There's only one problem: she has some [censored] boyfriend a state away that she got into a relationship with a month before school started and says she "can't choose between us" and won't dump his ass. So here we are acting like we're dating when we're not. I could live with it before because it felt like we were and he was never around, but over Christmas break, her boyfriend came to visit and all I see over Facebook is pictures of her with her arms wrapped around her ugly boyfriend and posting about how great he is and celebrating their "five months together." I almost, quite literally, threw up. This has been going on all week, and when we get back to school, I'm making her choose between me and that [censored]. And the sad part is, I don't think she's going to break up with him, so unless she does, I'm done with her and her garbage. I can't be strolled along thinking she's my girlfriend when she clearly favors her "bunny." UGH.

Oh yeah, and one more detail: she and I did it the day before we left for vacation, and she still hasn't dumped him. So unless she breaks up with that tool, I don't want to see her again. At all. I'm sick of being teased like this.

Well, there's my story. Felt good to at least rage to a bunch of strangers. XD

Dude, if she does break up with him for you she's a bad person. In fact she is already a bad person for going behind her BF like that playing around with you, so why the heck do you even want to be with a girl with such questionable morals ?

Just forget about her and her broken ethics, she's not worth it. You should be able to see that for yourself, even if she does start with you she will just start playing around with someone else behind your back too.

In the OP's post, I'd recommend a bit of maturity and not saying hurtful things. Every couple has misunderstandings, or misinterprets, and possibly gets upset, but it's not avoiding getting upset that's the issue, it's how you deal with it. Act mature, expect the same in return.

In the other advice post, I second Ellert, you're basically playing second fiddle to someone who was a) already in a relationship, and having you as a side dessert. I don't care how much time you spent together, if she has that type of baggage, do the right thing captain and fly away. No if's, and's, or but's. I could easily imagine myself as her boyfriend, or in your shoes, and in either scenario, she wins, you both lose. I'm already thinking the beginning to Saw 3D.