If any of you would like to participate in my hypothetical question, let us assume for a moment that your relationship status is 'single' and you are hoping to find a marriage partner.

Let us also assume that it is possible to love someone and, for a reason unknown in this scenario, cheat on that person (commit advltery) at the same time.

I do not care to know whether you believe such a situation is possible or not in reality, as I'm sure you may have your opinions on this. I only care that you answer the following hypothetical question, based on this information to the best of your ability:

Would you (as a person in this scenario retaining as much of your own personality as the scenario would allow) prefer to enter into marriage with a person who truely believes they love you, yet once or more than once commits advltery against you, or would you rather enter into marriage with a person who does not believe they love you, yet, for reasons that could only be speculated upon (marriage laws, religion, lack of any other attractive people etc) they do not ever commit advltery?

Feel free to simply answer, or to answer and explain, but please try to be sincere. If you need further clarification, I'll try to give it, but I believe this is the entirety of the question.

Edit: If you want to respond without answering the question, lets also assume that I've already read your response before you posted it and I appreciate it ahead of time, therefor there is no need to post it.

Why would you marry either? Both would be bad decisions and years of pain and misery would be taken from your life.

I would go with the one committing advltery. You will at least know where you stand with that person.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

It'd be a very boring world.

I'd go for neither if that's possible, and the former if I had to choose one. No reason other than love > six in my humble opinion.

I would choose neither.

But if I had to pick one, I guess I would choose the option where we dont love eachother. Yet respect eachother/the idea of marriage enough not to commit advlty, despite our views of one another. tlest one person shows loyalty nd that they can commit. If someone loved you, they wouldnt be cheating on you in the first place. So the latter option seems the more logical.

In this hypothetical situation I'd go for the person that did not love me but stayed true and honest. Going behind someone like that is wrong on so many levels, it is far better to be with someone who you don't love so the two of you can at least split up to seek someone we truly loved. Being with someone who pretends to love you but goes behind you showing how shallow that love is by cheating on you just keeps you in a relationship you don't deserve to be in, and the person doing it may claim to love the one he or she is with but that would be a false statement if he or she went behind the person to cheat on her or him.

Edit: Ellert has a nasty habit of being rash, give him a whack if he does it again

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

I would marry a horse at this point to take the pain and misery from my life. And said horse is free to cheat all it likes. Not a bad deal if I was to be asked...

I'm assuming that I wasn't clear enough in the OP. I'm not really looking for anyone's clever attempt at circumventing the scenario. I could make up several thousand of my own with little effort. If you don't want to answer the question, just don't post please.

The second. There would be less pain. My life might have a little less emotion in it, but that would include a little less negative emotion too.

You havent answered it either.

Both situations are wrong but only in the 2nd situation can the one who is on the raw end of the deal mend his or her situation, unlike in the first situation where the person is being fooled and could go years with someone they should not be with.

Marriage is nothing without shared love.

Mind you, marriage is nothing without mutual respect.

So, as many people have already stated, neither is a good choice.

To answer your hypothetical, I would choose the former - I could not enter into a vow of marriage without the full and honest promise of love in return. The trouble with the hypothetical being that eventual advltery would erase the mutual respect and lead almost inevitably to an inequitable and unsustainable marriage... Divorce, in other words. It's a fruitless endeavor - and if you know beforehand that it is likely, you'd simply be admitting that you're only going for short-term happiness.

Not everyone has answered with the same answer. Some people have already chosen the former, whereas others picked the latter. I don't see the questions as black and white (or black and black as you say). I think that both are shades of grey and one appears darker than the other to some, while the inverse is true to others. I sent you a PM too about your first post.

I would rather be alone for life to be honest.

How you could sleep in the same bed as a woman you know has had her pot stirred by someone else I can't understand.

As for being with somwone who isn't in love with you, well you have friends for that so

Wow I don't know why but your post gave me a major Deja Vu. More specifically the second line.

Anyway I completely agree with this. I could never love or want to spend my life with someone who goes around screwing guys behind my back. I would never be a part of a open relationship either.

The first. Have an open marriage. Rememer to communicate!

i would never be in a relationship with someone i could not trust. it's extremely destructive for both parts. i'd much rather be with someone who was loyal and trustful but didn't love me.

Obviously ideally neither, but if I had to I'd choose the second option.

I can't be in an open relationship, so if a person who knows me betrays my trust and cheats then he clearly doesn't love me, nor does he even respect me very much. At least with the second option there could be a basis of mutual trust, understanding and friendship, even if the marriage was forced upon us because of whatever hypothetical situation. Heck, if there's no love on either side and this was a marriage because of a hypothetical situation (let's say, we're both gay but live in a place where to live outright would be a death penalty and staying single would be suspicious) there could even be a mutual understanding that we would pursue romantic relationships outside of the marriage and it wouldn't be classed as cheating by either of us.

Interesting answers and much appreciated to those who have given their answers.

To give my own answer, I'd say that there was a time when I would have picked the first, because I believed that love was the most important ingredient in a marriage (or serious relationship). However, due to various personal experiences, I would now choose the second scenario. I haven't experienced it (to the best of my knowledge, maybe I have and didn't know it lol) yet but my values have changed over the years. I no longer see love as the key to a successful relationship, and I find that loyalty for any reason, selfish or honorable, is hard to come by and I cherish it.

Edit: By all means, continue to answer the question if you haven't yet. I'm still hoping for some more input.

Definitely the first. Either I wouldn't know she is cheating on me, and it would be okay. And if I did know, I could fight all the guys who slept with her.

That is a very interesting perspective indeed.

Would you still think it is fair to beat them up if she told them she wasn't in a relationship?

Yeah pretty much