That might be a good idea. I've been kind of doing the same thing recently.. Just steering clear of all things negative. It's funny because that's not really me. I usually tend to dwell in negativity, but I've gotten tired of it I guess.

Anyway I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I have my mom (who may not be around much longer) and a bandmate to talk to. Meeting other friends and a girlfriend seems utterly hopeless right now, but I could be wrong. My suggestion is to make imaginary friends. Psychosis is a great cure for loneliness I find.. Just kidding of course.. I actually have no worth while advice really. Being alone isn't so bad though. I find it kind of nice actually, although I am a bit frightened of complete isolation in my future.

Getcha a microphone and start playing some video games, especially free to play games like TF2, so many people play those games.

After so many servers and so many players your bound to find someone you click with, that will eventually lead to more friends.

Depression is a terrible thing to deal with... especially being that when you're depressed EVERYTHING seems bigger and much more difficult. (I guess because it is...)

But if you get nothing else from my post, please get this: We're all odd. Every single person in the world is strange in some way or another. We're different and though we may have similar interests in somethings, we're still nothing like one another. Seriously - one of my closest friends believes in fairies.. dresses very uh.. revealing, drinks, smokes, etc. We have NONE of that in common and most people think she's too weird to be friends with, but I love her. She is who she is - oddball and all - and accepts me for all my quirks. But it took me a lot of drama with other people - and a lot of hurtful things - before we met. Had I given up, I would never have become friends with her. And on that same line - believe it or not, the better you know yourself, the harder it is to make friends. (Bare with me here.) Those people you see out who have lots and lots of "friends" are fakes. They change themselves or hide their true selves so people in general will like them. They tend to have very shallow relationships with everyone they meet because if you are true to yourself, you aren't going to click with most people because we are so vastly different. The difference is that understanding that will lead you to accept that finding someone worth while will take time and you may not get so depressed while looking. And it doesn't hurt so much when people don't like you.

I meet A LOT of people. I mean tons and tons and tons (I talk to darn near everyone)... and I would say 98% of them can't stand me. Why? Because I don't give a crap what they think of me and I don't even try to make them like me. I am who I am and either they can accept that or not, it's their choice. And 98% of those people, I can't stand. So it goes both ways. You don't HAVE to like everyone and you don't HAVE to be friends with everyone you meet. But trust me, you're going to meet a lot of crappy people while you look for a true friend. Users, liars, drama queens/kings (LOTS of these), people who are too busy to be bothered, etc. But in the end, it's worth it when you find that one person you actually do click with and who accepts you for who you are - faults and all.

I have a lot more to say about it - including about cognitive behavior therapy (which works in ways you can't imagine) but I'll leave my novel here. Don't give up on people - even though most of them svck - because there a few worth the effort.

Yes we are all odd. There is no such thing as normalcy. What one thinks as normal, is simply their idea of the ideal being that has no issues whatsoever. The kind of person everyone should steer clear of, because they seek perfection in another. Argue argue argue...
I had it "made" in this MMO called Perfect World, but I have 0 friends there, the friends I had were all my ex girlfriend's. You know how that goes. The one I had left, I think she(my ex) joined the faction I was in, told my friend a bunch of crap..because I was removed from the faction, and just yesterday I found out my ex had joined that faction the same week that I did. Well I made sure she's not able to keep tabs on me anymore. Before the fall, I did everything I could for her - through that relationship, I found out what kind of man I could be to a girl. I almost hated all females cause of this crap, but I'm back to normal in that regard. I just tell myself that she was stupid to let me go. Anyway...

FFXI, well..I had quite a lot the first 2 years out of 8. But endgame has a detrimental affect on people and I'm immune to this.. but once people get a taste of endgame, you aren't friends anymore. You're competitors fighting over a piece of pixels. Bonds fall hard, and enemies are made.. I've been to endgame..and I never lost sight of my humanity. That being said, some close ones I've had, simply fade away..

Some past memories of friends, I like to recall because they're all good memories. It is part of my entire process to keep myself to losing my mind.

There was Phantasy Star Universe, oh this game was incredibly hard to make friends on, its so clique-y. You pretty much need to be a strong player(skill doesn't matter) to get "fake friends". Let me say this in a different way - the best you can get there is becoming a friend with benefits. I was never a "strong player"(aka someone with powerful gear) but I was always team orientated. Hardly any one would use Sol Atomizers, or Star Atomizers. Hardly anyone would watch each others backs. But I did all of that, hell I've ever took a death for lots of people. Very few have commented on this, and would say "its rare to play with people like that". Its all go in find your own mob, and [censored] the other 5 in your party :/. When I FINALLY found a nice group of like minded individuales(this took 3 1/2 years..), I had already burned out from the stress of that community. I played with them a while before I quit. Sent the guy that started it all a message saying it was nice to meet him and his friends and glad players like them still exist. Funny enough, they had quit too XD.

And voice chat in Xbox live was unpleasant. All it took was one guy to comment on how I laugh and how I talk, and I never went into voice chat ever again. It's easy to make my laugh, and I find a lot of things funny.

Well I could go further, but yeah.

If you're looking to make some connections with people I think one of the most important things is to actually get yourself out in the world actively interacting with and talking to people. If you can find clubs or meets near you for hobbies that you enjoy then this is a great place to start. You'll already have at least one thing in common with everyone there, and interacting with everyone there on a regular basis you'll be able to see which people you click with and from there try to hang out with them a bit more and build actual friendships. Another possibility if there aren't any such clubs or meets around you is to get involved in some volunteer work. Choose something that you at least somewhat enjoy (if you're miserable there it won't exactly help your chances of making friends) and which has a fair amount of social interaction with the other volunteers. Again, these things are to get you out of the house and actively interacting with people. From there you need to make the effort to create some connections with people and build upon those connections. Start up conversations with people, try to round up a group of people to have lunch together, etc. Basically make sure you're actively trying to interact with people, don't just stand off to the side and hope that someone will come and start talking to you. On the flip side, though, don't be too overbearing when trying to make those initial connections- coming across as clingy or desperate for friends is a quick way to drive people away from you.

I actually have to disagree with a lot of this. While there are the occasional people who are outright false when dealing with different groups of people, what most social chameleons do is actually quite a bit more subtle. It isn't that people present false faces to other people; on the contrary every face they present is true, but they just emphasize or de-emphasize certain aspects of their personality depending on who they're with. Basically they recognize which parts of their personality click with certain people and which parts clash, then bring out or tone down those parts accordingly. And to do this you need to know yourself, as you already touched on, but you also need to go beyond that and be willing to learn and recognize things about other people as well, then put all of that together. And doing this doesn't preclude one from still finding those few rare people that you just really click with on all levels, but it also allows you to build relationships with lots of other people as well, rather than letting one or two silly personality aspect clashes ruin what could otherwise be a very worthwhile friendship.

There is more drama in MMO worlds then in the real world... people tend to be far nastier then they'd dare be face to face. And the "elitest" attitude is why I quit in the first place. Everyone in those games end up wanting it all for themselves and don't give a crap about grouping or working as a group.... which made playing a support character (healer/cleric) kind of impossible and those were my main characters. So I understand about all that. (Also I got the boot from a guild once too because of internal drama between other people that had nothing to do with me.)

Trust me, it's easier to make friends in-game then IRL, but keeping them is SO much easier IRL then in-game. I don't know about you, but I can't handle that high school drama mentality.

As for Xbox? You meet a lot of those types of people on PSN too. But you can't let one jerk keep you from voicechat. It's a good thing that you have a great sense of humor. Giggle like a girl, snort like a nerd, whatever - it's a part of you and if they don't like it, screw 'em.

You think you got problems? I don't even have a six life, I once tried to mastvrbate and 'I' got a headache.

In other words, you hide parts of yourself to be accepted by a certain person or group of people? If someone can't accept you for who you are - faults and things they dont like as well as what they do like - then they aren't really friends. I'm not going to try to blend in everywhere I go so I can say I have 50 friends instead of 5 who know all of me and love me anyways. To each their own though I suppose. If you (or these social chameleons) would prefer to fit in by adjusting every part of who you are depending on the situation and people you're around, then so be it. I guess I'd rather know who I'm dealing with then just having someone say the right thing. But maybe that's just me.

Not so much hiding certain aspects, but just toning down those aspects when being around certain people they clash with. For example, I have some strong political views and can really get going about them if you give me the chance. I'm also friends with people who I know aren't particularly interested in hearing those views (some because they have very different views, some because they're just utterly uninterested in politics), so when I'm around those people I simply keep those views and my propensity to talk about them in check. It's no secret to all those involved that I hold those views (I'm not hiding anything), but when we're hanging out we just tone down those aspects of our views and personalities that would clash, so that we can have a good time (due to all the other aspects of our views and personalities that really click). Ultimately it's just a skill for being aware of yourself and other people so that you can get along with people better.

Also, just so you know a bit about me to better understand where I'm coming from, I'm a major introvert, in the sense that I find interacting with people quite tiring and feel no strong compulsion to connect with and interact with other people. I'm definitely not looking to misrepresent myself to people so that I can always be surrounded by a crowd. Rather, while I'm perfectly fine with very limited interactions with people, I can still enjoy the company of other people and just generally find life to be more pleasant if I make an effort to be friendly and get along well with people. Toning down aspects of my personality to reduce friction with people generally just makes life more pleasant as opposed to taking a "This is me, deal with it" approach that I've found just tends to create unnecessary conflicts (and I say this after having taken such an approach for quite a few of my formative years).

I'm not saying to cause conflict.

My point is that those people whom you mentioned already know how you align yourself, the fact that you don't make it a point to continue to bring it up isn't hiding it, it's being respectful. My views, likes, dislikes, and beliefs are part of what make me, well.. me and so long as I'm not hiding them or lying about them, then I'm taking the stance of "this is me, like it or not." I meant it as a way to accept yourself for who and what you are and to stop allowing people to dictate what is "right" for you. Not to continue to call attention to your differences and then telling someone to stuff it.

I hold certain views that very few of the people I meet also hold. I'm not going to hide those views just because it makes some people uncomfortable (or rather mean for some reason), but I'm also mature enough to be respectful and not continue to bring it up with those people. But if they in turn don't like me because of what I believe, I'm not going to be heartbroken or try to change for them. I am me, and I make no apologies for it. (That includes my hobbies, dislikes, etc.) That's all I was saying.

You should become a brony! We are taking over the internet with love and friendship, I suggest you join the herd.

Ah the bronies, and they wonder why everyone hates them.

LONGSADPOSTWARNING!

GIRL WHAT?! Seriously what do you mean throw out?! How in the world can you throw out Toni Braxton music?! If you are that far down the drain you need an intervention! So let me tell you something;

*okay to anyone who reads this...dim your lights and play some sad violin music*

I've had a pretty normal high school time, I wasn't super popular but I could get along with a lot of people, I was always happy and smiling and had best friends that I used to hang out with. I guess on the surface everything was pretty okay. However I guess I've always known that I was gay, however knowing that you are gay is something different than acknowledging that you are actually gay. I actually had a girlfriend though but of course you can imagine it wasn’t all that.
I guess after I broke up it all kind of went downhill from there. I felt like I had to be a different person than who I really was every day. I felt nothing was real in my life except my friends. That feeling made me more and more depressed however I never showed my feelings to anyone. My highschool wasn’t very gay friendly so I was hoping to tell my friends after highschool was over and start a new life which didn’t really turned out as planned.

My best friends dropped me...out of the blue. For reasons which are just too ridiculous to even mention. They literally burned me to the ground in front of my whole class for nothing. I never cried so much in my life during that period, I felt like the only thing that was real in my life also turned out to be nothing more than a lie. I [almost effed up] did my exams and never spoke to them again, I have never ever in my entire life been that low and lonely [worse than a Mary J Blige song]. I have never been suicidal however back then I couldn't possibly care less on certain days whether or not I would "wake up" in the morning.

Some of my “other friends” who I actually never hung out with during highschool kind of felt sorry for me and invited me over a couple of times. However I always kind of felt somewhat unwanted. I eventually decided that I didn’t wanted to be a “burden” to them anymore and decided to turn my life around. I was sick of being miserable all the time but in order for that to change I felt like I had to cut off everything that was connected to my old life and turn my life around.

It’s hard and scary at first. It’s like you have to start your entire life over from scratch without having anyone that backs you up. I set my goals to what I wanted to achieve in life and for the first time in my life felt like I was choosing who I wanted to be and what I wanted to say in life. [dramatic music plays in the background of this paragraph]

Ever since then life has been great, it has been 6 years now and it was the best decision ever! My life is better than ever before. Sure life has it’s ups and downs but going through that made me stronger and learned me to deal with my own problems. Nobody is going to solve your problems for you, because you are the one who has to live your live not someone else.





To be honest I'm not sure if virtual friends are the best way to go. I've had some really great friends on the net though but they never really went further than that. However making friends is not as easy as just going out and meeting new people. It takes time. People like to be around funny and happy people, make sure people notice you don't be the shy guy that sits in the corner. Talk to people about stuff you like but even more importantly talk about what they like. Ask how their day was, ask how they feel or how their day was to get the conversation started. Don't force it too much but throw yourself out there. You can't sit around waiting for people to come up to you ! I used to be a shy guy as well however nowadays I won't shut up [as you might have noticed by the length of this post].

okay ill shut up now.

Have faith in yourself! You can do it ! I see that you are already trying however maybe you are not looking in the right direction!

Oh come now. We're not all bad. We're fans of a show that's about friendship and we like to try and support ideals of friendliness. And then there is this thread which is about having, or rather not having, friends. If you don't like ponies then that's fine but you can't say those that hate bronies don't just do it because they dislike bronies not being meaner or because they don't act more solitary and tough as they do.

Lots of people are fans of shows, tell me when a show as big as the simpsons has its own damn cult, name and all. Then procedes to infect every thread (its like godwins law, only turns into pages instead of a few damn posts), then you see in this thread people trying to get others to join their cult (formed round a cartoon for 5 year old girls). When I had anxiety my mother tried to get me to go back to church, I hated that, it cme of as oppertunistic, and to see people try that with something as pathetic as MLP annoys me.

Oh please dont try justifying putting mlp in this thread, it has NOTHING, to do with the issue at hand. Now im derailing this so.

OP even if you dont feel you have many friends irl, I bet you have plenty on the internet. Its better here, you arent judged for some things like irl, and you can spek your mind, and be yourself. So you may not have people living near you, but you still have friends.

Goddesses, please show mercy to this ignorant soul!

The guy is looking for friends, and what better place to find them then among the bronies!

You should seek a doctor for some help with your depression.
Reconnect with your mother be yourself, covering up who you are is one of the worst things you can ever do.
Try to get out and talk to some people where you work school any setting you are around.
Just try to say hey if thats all you say.

Stop thinking about things in terms of "trying to make friends" or "trying to find love" or whatever you're thinking of right now. Your current frame of thought is (1) depressing you and (2) not getting you anywhere.

Instead, start thinking of things in terms of self-improvement and activity / "getting out of the house." Join classes, start walking / jogging around town*, get more sunlight, become active in the community, find a productive hobby, and make being in public your default. Do you want to read a book? Read in the park. Want to post on the forums? Do it in a cafe. Think you might want to spend some time moping? Do it outside. Don't expect any of this stuff to make you friends. For example, don't expect to become best friends with the people at Friday Night Magic. That's just setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, just expect that you will have friends. Maybe it'll come from a completely unexpected source. Maybe your social life will get kicked off after having a conversation with a random passerby while taking out the trash. Who knows? All I can say is, there are people all around you.

*Assuming you live somewhere it's safe to walk / jog

Post on the forum in my sig.

You should join the military.

I know what's its like man. I've been going out actively to bars and the such, meeting tons of people but never staying with them. All my non professional relationships with anyone hasn't lasted more than a week. And with every old friend I find myself deeper in this hole.

Couldn't read the first page without fixing mistakes 3:

Agreed.


I don't like spelling mistakes, but you're being very pedantic, and they were minor mistakes too. And it has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Camaraderie in shooting Afghan goat farmers? Why not?


Implying that 'bronies' are 'people'

If you're going to be an [censored] about mistakes, please at least fix them correctly.