Is worse than death. How did I get stuck with such a fate is beyond me.

In 7 months I failed at making any friends. Well I want say that I have 'no one', I have my mom but that's it, but I can't be myself to her either. lol my phone has been on for a few months, 'just in case' but Im gonna just turn it off next month.

I've been trying to add meaning to my life for quite sometime now. Sticking my head in my games, and focusing even more on my job..but everytime I come home, I'm faced with the reality that things aren't going to change. Its one thing when people complain but don't actually do anything. It's another when you're putting effort into something but result is still the same...

I went to a forum for people "like me" and tried "rebuilding my life" there but failed. Some person wanted a friendship, but I guess they werent serious about that.

*has much to say but just gonna bury it in my mind*

Don't know why I put this here. I don't have any where to go really.

"Life when you have absolutely no one."

You don't know what that feels like because you do have someone. Wither it's "only" your mom or the people you know of these forums. You have more friends than you think.

" I'm faced with the reality that things aren't going to change."

Again you are wrong. Things DO change. I know what it's like to feel alone, I know what it's like to think things will be like that forever. I was wrong like you.

Don't think I'm dismissing your issues, I'm not. Right now in your life, this is how you feel. You won't always feel like this.

I hope this isn't a terrible cliché, but try listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc

Meh, I have nobody but my immediate family, haven't for years. Doesn't bother me any more, I can't be bothered being sociable for the sake of it.

The question is, does it bother you? If not, there's no point trying to live in a way that morons demand you do.

It's good that you looked for friends online, but how often do friends who met on a forum really meet up? Maybe you could try making friends at work, or going to a local event which would be a chance for you to meet new people (a class, the gym, the pub, book club, a festival etc). Or maybe hitting up an old friend who you haven't spoken to in a while? One of my friends did that to me at the beginning of the year (after not seeing each other in at least 4 years), and now we see each other quite often, and I've made new friends from hanging out with him.
I've been lonely, and it's horrible - but it doesn't last long if you have the right attitude and it seems like you do. It might just take a little longer than you might like.
Hope you feel better soon.

Kinda one of my fears, i only have my father and my sister left, I barly have any friends outside the internet and no family of my own. I keep hoping that someday my luck will change but first I need to find a better way at meating people other then church or bars.

"Why are all my friends alcoholics and ministers?"

Or alcoholic ministers lol!!!

Can't escape a hole if you don't keep your head up.

Have you tried the butcher's? I've heard they have all the proper tools to meat people.

IDK something about a person with a knife with blood all over them doesn't sound right.

I hsave people I talk to work but itsl ike its difficult to get people to do stuff outside of work like seeing a movie or hanging out.

Always something comes up.

All I can say is throw yourself out there and let the worst happen.

Better to be hated than never noticed.(Ok maybe not really)

ZeroSymbolic7188@gmail.com, add me on facebook. I've been there before, it does get better.

It's really difficult now days to socialize if you're not into drinking, clubbing, etc. Depending on how geeky you are you could try looking into larping or DnD communities.

On the way home the other night I heard an ad on the radio about a company that sets up events for singles. Curious I researched them online a bit and they turned out to be a real scam, charging exuberant amounts of money and screening you to make sure you meet their standards. But the basic concept sounds interesting and they're probably not the only company that does that kind of thing.

You could try checking your local craigslist to see if anyone's setting up any kind of group activity thing.

Being a single dad I get out maybe once a month.., if that.

So once a month I give myself over to the swaying maelstrom that is 'nightlife'.



meh.



Funny enough, I usually meet fun people before going out, or the day after, whilst recovering from a hangover in a coffeeshop somewhere..



in conclusion:

no matter where you go, there you are.
it's only the number of floozies that differ from bar to bar..

I miss my alone time. I can never work on art projects, or at my own pace on my own time. As a mother, and wife, am forever tending to the needs of others, always destined to be interrupted. You never know what you have until you have lost it. I used to come home, decompress, start r continue a project. Be it textile, paint and canvas, music, collage, written work, film, ceramic, or living media such as agricultural products or plantings.
I ate when I pleased, the house was always clean, there was never a backlog of laundry or to do lists.
Being alone is one of the greatest gifts I can imagine, it's time to recharge for me.

Discard this notion from your head that there is a need for there to be someone. It can hurt to be alone but only if you allow it to hurt yourself by thinking it is your fault. Just keep living life, spend time on your hobbies and develop your skills if you are studying something and attend work as usual or if you don't have a job try to find one.

Don't search for kinship, but let it come to you. I don't drink and thus I don't go to bars. I hardly ever speak to people first hand but rather only speak to them if there is need to do it due to being on a common assignment or due to needing information from them. And I bring this attitude with me as I attend college, work and game nights at the local games store to play card games like Magic: The Gathering and Warcraft the trading card game.

I went into college alone with no one really to hang out as my friends from high school and before had developed in different ways than I had in terms of personality, so without common interests to share anymore it was back to me being alone. And I spent most all of my first semester in college just minding my own business talking to no one at all, that is until the finals came and in a Web Designing course I was taking the final assignment consisted of the classmates working in small groups assigned by the teacher for the last 3 weeks on designing a website of their own. I'm not saying this was the only team project I had but it was the first team project where I had to communicate with someone I ended up actually liking quite a bit and where the feeling was mutual causing the two of us to start hanging out more to get to know each other better and simply to have fun.

Finding people to hang out with doesn't go like the following no matter what people tell you.

"Hey random person, wanna hang out and see if we have common interests and if we like the company of each other ?"
"Sure!"

It's more like...

"So we met due to a common interest, and we've pvssyd a few times and gotten to know each other better due to this common interest. Wanna go partake in a hobby we've found out we both share ?"
"Sure!"

And then I met another dude through that dude that again, had similar interests and hobbies as I had which came as little surprise since he was friends with the dude I already knew had similar interests to mine.
And that's just two people but that's plenty. The company of few far outweighs the company of many if you fit in with the former but are an outcast in the latter.

So stop worrying about it, no matter how unique you may be if you have interests then chances are others have them too, and if you actively practice your interests then chances are you are going to meet these people, and if you meet them then chances are you're going to get to know them better until you start being able to consider yourself friends. So just live your life and be patient, and if it's any consolation then consider the people on these forums are just that, actual people. Whatever is written here is written by another person sitting at his own PC and if that's not enough then consider you already probably have similar interests if you are both frequenting the Bethesda forums.

So if you wanna chat or something just PM me and I can share my MSN and even then ZeroZymbolic already shared his. The people here are no less real than the people you meet face to face. I got a lot of games I'd love to play online, and perhaps you like the same games (been looking for someone to play some Heroes of Might and Magic III or IV with online for a while =.= the people on game ranger just don't tend to have the patience to play all that much if you're experiencing disconnects and such...)

Well I've rambled on enough, just do whatever works for you. No one is really alone and if they are they just need to live life as themselves and they will find someone else to hang out with.

All I rely on is my family and thats it. I don't care much for friends as their all the same. You make them, they move and you move on, thats my case though. I don't fit in with the drunks, potheads, popular kids, etc. I really only talk to my mom and dad. Be thankful you have your mom. Things always get better.

If you find you are spending a lot of time each day thinking about this and other problems in your life, and about your own personality and its problems, then you are depressed. The solution isn't to find some friends and become happy, its to break your habits of circular negative thoughts, and then you will find your life starts improving in all ways, including making friends.

You will never anolyze your way out of this problem. You need to address the actual act of thinking negatively by letting go of fears and directly breaking such patterns of behavior. There's a field called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that goes into this sort of thing, or you can try on your own to see what works for you. The goal is to reduce the amount of time thinking about negative stuff down to zero. You can't get there by thinking; you have to stop thinking.

When you get back into the present moment and stop anolyzing yourself and your problems, you'll feel much lighter and more able to enter into social situations in the way Ellert was talking about. You'll be able to put in the energy to create and maintain friendships then.

Do you go to school or work? All you have to do is initiate conversation with anyone and talk about things you like. I don't like having a lot of friends, but if you try hard enough (which is very easy tbh...) you'll make friends. Unless a person is really weird or really boring, he/she shouldn't have too much problems with speaking to people.

Sure, you won't automatically be best friends with anyone you meet, but you have to put yourself into these situations. However, if you go to school or work, you don't even need to put yourself in any situation because it's literally impossible not to speak with anyone there.

Also, sometimes you'll have to stick your finger in your butt (not literally ) and make friends with people you might not really click with (like being friends with your friends' friend).

Alrighty..time for some replying. Big post is gonna be big.
After a 3 year separation due to unknown circumstances, me and my 'best friend' found each other again on the street. This is a guy I've know for 21 years. Though some people don't believe it but both of our moms can verify. I was only 6-7 when we met, and I vividly remember the day we first met. Unfortunately, our bond had deteriorated beyond reconciliation, and he doesn't even call now. When he fell on hard times, I was the only one left in his life - his mom had abandoned him, and all his other "friends" that I've long warned him about were his undoing. But as always...I'm the one that gets curve balled later.. He was the last friend I had in town. To be honest, my teen years were better, but that's a long story I wont get into.


That hole wont leave me alone.

My facebook is DEPRESSING...I'll have to clean it up. The friends I have on there are people who's lives have taken them away, but they are people who had been most significant to my life, so they are there for sentimental value.
Yes I am depressed, only a doctor can help with me that.

Well, one thing I did to "help myself" was getting rid of all my negative music(sorry Michael Jackson, Toni Braxton, LSG, Keith Sweat...basically albums about love and trying to keep someone etc etc) and went primarly game music, avoiding any negative tracks. Because I noticed listening to these, even though I did because they 'sound good' was actually poisoning my mind through the lyrics.
Eh the guy I work with...we used to be close but [censored] kept happening to him(..it doesn't help that I'm his supervisor..) and now he's like [censored] everybody and I'm stuck not even having someone with the same interests as me to talk to.

You should join a sport or something. At least when you're playing they have to engage with you, those engagements could soon lead to a friendship.

Just be a friendly and approachable person. Whenever you're hanging out with someone and a friend of theirs passes by, be sure to introduce yourself. Be open with people, don't sit and wither away in the background just because you don't know someone. Every friend that someone has, was once a stranger. You just need to engage in conversation, make yourself the center of attention, add some charm. Make it so people can't help but like you. But if you have a dreary attitude and look around and think "*sigh* Nothing good." people aren't going to approach you. But if you keep your head high and think "this is a great day" or "I'm just glad to be here." you'll probably have better luck because no one likes to be around a depressing person. Have a happy attitude.

Could be worse.

Indeed, in school I had friends, but outside they just drank snd did other stuff that dosent interest me. Now I left school, earlier than I would hve liked. But anyway im on voluntry work, now they are a different age group, drink and smoke weed... Atleast thats what they seem to talk bout most of the time... Yay. They areok people, but outside of the voluntry job, I dont think I would socialise with them.

It dosent bother me much, I currently have depression, but thats common on christmas (has been for a few years). I have nothing to do, and everyone else seems happy. But for me, when I go bck to the voluntry place, I will likely be happy. Sure I would be happier with friends I assume, but im happy with my current, anti social ways. I dont need other people to enjoy myself. Besides my loosing friends ws something I saw coming, people are now in uni, college, work, etc. So I knw I wouldnt see most (if not all) again, when I came out of school.

Do you feel you need to have people ? Maybe its the idea you need people that makes things worse, as long as your happy, it shouldnt matter.

OP, you should forgive everyone involved in that 'best friend' story and do your best not to think about it again. Like with the sad music you threw out, mulling over that story is like playing sad music in your brain. You keep yourself in a negative emotional state by thinking about such things. When such thoughts come up, just let them go.