Most ill-timed comments by NPC's. : V

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:34 pm

I'm sure we've all experienced these at some point. The redundant statements that NPC's sometimes make throughout the game giving you a good laugh because of circumstances and events that happen in the game. I'd like to hear everyone's experience with this. My favorite just happened, hence the reason for this thread.

I fought a dragon in Rorikstead. Two guards helped me bring down the best in an epic battle. After the fight was over and the dragon was slain the three of us are walking back to the small town when one of the guards says...

"My cousin's out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty." Well, my friend, that's some guard duty.

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:00 am

i had just finished killing a dragon that appeared at the gates of riften, when i proceeded to walk into the city the guard at the gate asked "what is it, dragons?"

my reaction: *facepalm* :facepalm:

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:27 pm

One that really made me laugh was:

Spoiler

During the quest Blood on the Ice, I killed Calixto (the butcher) in the market and Torbjorn Shatter-Shield walks by the dead body and says:
"I'm going to find whoever did this".
I was like:
1. Dude, I did it. Right in front of everybody. You saw me do it.
2. He's the one who killed your daugther. Seriously.
3. I wasn't planning on joining the Dark Brotherhood but now I might just to do Mourning Never Comes.

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:23 am

i had just finished killing a dragon that appeared at the gates of riften, when i proceeded to walk into the city the guard at the gate asked "what is it, dragons?"

my reaction: *facepalm* :facepalm:

I lol'd because I could imagine this so well

THE funniest thing ever that happened to me in this game was in Solitude. I had a bounty of about 1500, and I forgot about it. I walk in and one guard begins to attack me for a few seconds. We both get each others' health down pretty low, and then he just says in a laughably relaxing tone, "Alright, I think you've had enough," and walks away. I just look at everyone around me like wtf? And fall off my chair laughing.

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:28 pm

"Sentries, what do you see?"

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:57 am

Me:

*kills bandit 1*
Bandit 2: *draws his sword for a bit, looks around* (a minute passes) :stare:

"Must've been the wind".
Wind: :confused:

"Blamed again! I can't catch a break!"

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:26 pm

There was this one time I killed that beggar Narfi, in Ivaarstead, and as soon as I leave the house I bump into a guard, thinking he saw the crime and was about to arrest me, instead he greets me with "Pssst. I know who you are. Hail Sithis!"
It almost felt like he was covering for me

Was a pretty nice coincidence, methinks!

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:55 am

I haven't had any amusing ones. I just hate this feature of the game so much. I boggles my mind that they put it in, and had some repeat every second. I don't know how many important, scripted conversations I've been in and some NPC has wondered in and started noisily, and repeatedly spouting crap at me.

:facepalm:

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:43 am

The best is when you're dragging a body through a city and a guard says "Staying safe, I hope?"

Bethesda really should've made guards question you if they see you doing this...

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:28 am

A courier approached me and said he had a delivery for me, my hands only. He wasn't wearing any pants. :blink:

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:30 pm

Redguard called me a Milk Drinker. Me being white and all; I didn't know how to take that. :lmao:

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:24 pm

"Sentries, what do you see?"

"It's in the clouds!"

Alduin is perched atop the watch tower the moment that line is said.

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:48 am

:dragon lands on tower:

"it's in the clouds!"

:dragon appears:

"Sentry's what'd'ya'see?"

:entire town full of imperials, thalmor, with bows and magic:

"you're not going to catch me!"

And that's just the intro...

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:03 pm

People should just greet you when they see you instead of saying things about their personal life and how they feel about you. Click on them, and then hear those things. That's my philosophy.

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:35 am

There was this one time I killed that beggar Narfi, in Ivaarstead, and as soon as I leave the house I bump into a guard, thinking he saw the crime and was about to arrest me, instead he greets me with "Pssst. I know who you are. Hail Sithis!"
It almost felt like he was covering for me

Was a pretty nice coincidence, methinks!

I always get freaked out when they go

Psst. I know who you are..... WHAT? Hail Sithis!.... Oh yeah....

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:19 pm

A courier approached me and said he had a delivery for me, my hands only. He wasn't wearing any pants. :blink:

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:30 am

Me:

*kills bandit 1*
Bandit 2: *draws his sword for a bit, looks around* (a minute passes) :stare:

"Must've been the wind".
Wind: :confused:

"Blamed again! I can't catch a break!"

Have you not heard of Harold "The Wind" Magorny?

Anyway, I was in the process of killing a nameless dude who attacked me (like a bandit or something), and I set him alight with Flames. And just before it started the kill cam with my steel sword he said "I'm going to watch you burn!" No, sir, it is I who is watching you burn.

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:30 am

Have you not heard of Harold "The Wind" Magorny?

Anyway, I was in the process of killing a nameless dude who attacked me (like a bandit or something), and I set him alight with Flames. And just before it started the kill cam with my steel sword he said "I'm going to watch you burn!" No, sir, it is I who is watching you burn.

Dat NPC logic :cool:

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:04 am

Whiterun guard: "If those Whiterun guards can take down a dragon, so can we"

Supposedly the Whiterun guard isn't supposed to be saying that but the one did. Perhaps he has to be inside the city for him to not say it?

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:53 am

It's not Skyrim, but you should look up "Oblivion Guard gives good info..mp4" on YouTube. It's worth watching, but I can't post a link. Hilarious...

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:01 am

It's not Skyrim, but you should look up "Oblivion Guard gives good info..mp4" on YouTube. It's worth watching, but I can't post a link. Hilarious...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfOK_Xkibn4

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:05 am

"Sentries, what do you see?"

"its in the clouds!" yeah they say that when its so close to the tower a skeever couldnt fit in the gap between its feet and the tower....

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:39 pm

There's that one quest in Riften where Romlyn Dreth wants you to smuggle mead without the Black Briar higher ups knowing, specifically Indaryn, all the while not even bothering to talk in hushed tones. I got the quest from him while he was sitting in the Bee and Barb next to Indaryn.

» Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:50 pm

There's that one quest in Riften where Romlyn Dreth wants you to smuggle mead without the Black Briar higher ups knowing, specifically Indaryn, all the while not even bothering to talk in hushed tones. I got the quest from him while he was sitting in the Bee and Barb next to Indaryn.

LOL. I was just about to post this one when I saw this. I couldn't in good conscience let it slip so I let Indaryn know. Must be hard of hearing.

» Wed Jan 23, 2013 12:50 am

i love the stupidity of the enemies in combat.

Enemy : "I'll have your head"

(I chop HIS head off)

me : "I have YOUR head....moron!"

or

Enemy : "Whatcha gonna do, eh? Watcha gonna do?"

(I kill them with a soul-trapped weapon and send them to the soul-cairn)

Me : "There, how about that!? Enjoy eternity in a miserable prison-like realm........idiot"

or

Enemy : (hits me with a normal attack) "Hah! you weren't expecting THAT, were you?"

(I hit them with a heavy attack and activate a kill cam where I either shank them with my sword and throw them roughly to the floor, or I stove their head in with a mace...like Molag Bals mace.)

Me : "HAH! YOU weren't expecting THAT, were you?"