Why can't you guys hire normal humans, and what the hell is that thing anyway.... A Pokemon on acid?!
It's a Djinn from the Golden Sun series, AKA two of the best Gameboy Advanced games ever made.

Wow, this is the first moderator I'd actually heard of before they got modded. Grats Pov. See if you can use your new position of power to hurry Dear Esther out.

It is done. It's now coming out on Valentine's day.
All the rumours about the secret moderator forum? They're all true. Yes, even the ones you made up yourself.