I don't do that, believe it or not. If she asks me what I'm doing, I'll tell her I'm busy playing video games. If she likes something and I don't, I'll say so. If she asks me how many people I've slept with, I'll tell her. There's no point in lying. It's going to come out eventually, especially if you get serious, and then you'll have hurt the other person for no reason. I loathe being lied to, especially about paltry stuff (but also about the serious stuff).

I do make a distinction between lying and omission. Omission's fine for the not-important stuff. Lying is not.

See, I just can't pass up a good lie, though. I once told an ex of mine, before I could have called her my girlfriend, that no, I couldn't come pick her up from work because my cat had jumped on the stove while it was on and caught fire, so I had to take it to the vet.

I didn't admit that was a lie until I was forced to recall the only time I was ever dishonest to compare it to her laundry list of lies.

To be frank, I don't believe you. But that is just me. Not like you should care about such a thing. I can admit I have lied before. Although nothing big and I generally make it a rule not to. I have also been in some pretty damned [censored] relationships as well so go figure. But little lies are almost inevitable.

Edited for Blah blah blah; irrelevant.

However, this seems to be more about the dishonesty rather than the actual virginity or lack thereof. The lying bit would be of concern depending on if she straight up maintained that she was a virgin and was any varying degree of outspoken about it. If she was and it turned out she was lying, you should be worried. If it never was mentioned before or it was mentioned in passing, I wouldn't be worried. She might've been testing the waters herself.

The first point I would like to make, that half of you don't seem to get: I'm not asking if I should be upset because she isn't a virgin. I'm not. I am asking if I should be concerned because she lied about it.

I wouldn't say that discussing her past on a forum is that huge of a deal. I barely know any of you, and none of you know me personally. And even if you did, you would have no idea I am who I am. Sometimes the best people you can ask about a problem are people that you barely know at all that have no connection with you personal life- which is, in this situation, you guys.

Besides, this could all be a hypothetical situation for all you know. I COULD be the girl wondering if my boyfriend is going to dump me, so I asked from his perspective.

Also, when I asked my RL friends about it, it was only three of them, and I've known these guys for 4+ years and know they'd never betray my trust. Plus, they haven't spent a lot of time around my girlfriend and they don't know her- well actually, one of them does know her. They have asked me the same type of questions, and it's moreso of a friendship wing-man help-me-out understanding, rather than a talk-behind-someone's-back understanding.

And the third thing is, I asked because in case anything ever happened (which happens quite a lot in high school, in fact), I wanted to know if she'd been with anyone. Because like one of you guys said earlier, STD's and junk fly around, and though it isn't likely my 16 year old girlfriend is going to have AIDS, people still buy lottery tickets in hopes that they will win, and that's even more unlikely than my girlfriend having an STD. So, if you've ever bought a lottery ticket, you can't go against my judgement.

the same precautions should be used whether they've been with no one or if they've worked in a brothel

okay, but which part of what you admitted you'd be honest about would have been embarrassing to talk about?

Besides, you have to remember that I didn't bring it up. She brought it up in a conversation and the topic came up. I asked her after she asked me. It's not like I plainly and bluntly went into her business and asked her.

Get rid of her asap brah. Once a liar, always a liar.

Buuuulllllcrap.

Note the people saying "dump her" are the people I'd imagine having a neckbeard.

Make of that what you will.

And some have always had highly questionable morals on other important matters.

When you want someone's opinion, you go to someone you can trust. It could be an individual on an internet forum, because I've done it before. But asking on a big public forum such as this won't really help you, save for some posts, because you don't know who the person giving his opinion on something important to you is.

I mean you could be getting someone saying "DUMP HER" and this person in question hasn't even ever kissed a girl before...(for example).

You're asking a forum of strangers to judge this case based on broad strokes. No advice here is going to be practical or helpful.

You know her, we don't. You're in a much better position to judge if lying is a habit of hers or if she truly did just lie about that ONE issue because she's self-concious about it in particular. Any answers here saying "she's a liar" or "cut her some slack" have no idea what she's like.

Having said that...

I both don't think that's the most outrageous or outlandish concern to have (I still know people that lie about their six life and I'm 24) and at the same time I think you should be concerned about the fact that she lied about something that potentially puts you at risk. The fact of the matter is that STDs exist, and she was potentially going to lie to you, finding her own reputation with you more important than your own safety. (In a sense, since I highly doubt she's of the belief she has STDs so she wouldn't consider lying to you a risk to begin with, though hopefully she could also recognize the neccesity of fairness and honesty with important issues like that. )

Personally? I'd just rephrase the question and ask her when exactly she planned on telling you. Best advice I can offer because such a question could perhaps give you insight into whether she had considered when to tell you (AKA she didn't want to lie to you but did so out of fear) or didn't (AKA she lied and didn't think twice about it). Stress on perhaps though. Don't go burning bridges and drowning puppies if her answer is that she never really thought of it; only you can really judge based on your experience with her what the meaning of that lie is, so don't take my above advice and assume I know better than you, treating her response to that question as a potential deal-breaker or complete and total relief.

You should also consider that "the end justifies the means" in a sense. Realize that hell, your post alone makes it CLEAR that this is an important issue for you (you'd prefer a virgin), and it's likely she picked up on that too. Hence the lie.

She was embarrassed about talking about six? Okay, then I probably wouldn't be hurt/angry. I'd tell her there's no reason to be embarrassed and that we should work on being able to be more open about our relationship. But if she continued to lie about matters connected to six? Ya, I'd break up with her because I'd want to go out with someone who's more comfortable about sixuality.


Not to trot out a cliche, but this does say more about you than those posters.

I can attest to the fact that he does not have a neckbeard. Well, no beard at all.

That's pretty much it right there. Your post comes of as a tad judgemental (maybe unintentionally). It seems to me like you look down on her for having had six (with several people, no less, omg), so she's not worrying out of nothing. Imagine you're dating this girl and you really like her, and you find out that she doesn't like people who have done drugs. You've done drugs, but you really like her. So you lie, since chances are she won't find out otherwise.

In the scheme of lies, this was a well intentioned one (while also potentially dangerous, re: the STD thing). I'd handle it by being supportive and open. If it's STDs you're worried about, offer to go with her to get tested. Show that you trust her and won't disown her over something like this, and she'll be less likely to hide things from you because she's worried about the relationship. If you just want a girl who has never had six, dump her, and good luck finding one.

Does that mean you're available?

J/K

I believe he posted a photo for me in the Long Hair topic, so I'm aware. I'm going to assume you're not English: that saying means that what he thinks of the people saying, "Dump her," is a reflection on him, not on them.

I am not English, but I did understand your post. I was just joking.

I wouldn't sweat it.

In a relationship that young, and with six not being an issue between the two of you, asking about sixual history is bound to be a sketchy and/or uncomfortable topic. I don't think her not wanting to share honestly that information is any cause for future concern.

Oh, hah.

Careful here, Broseph. She's been established as a casual liar, who will knowingly deceive you.

My advice would be to lay her immediately.

Probably won't help the trust issue, but at least you got laid.

This is my wisdom.