A few weeks ago my cat began going outside of her litter box even though it was kept clean. The following week she stopped eating and eventually lost at least half of her body weight, to the point where she's just skin and bones. The first visit to the vet got her on antibiotics and I tried changing her diet in the hopes that she'd put on some weight. She didn't and the antibiotics made no noticeable difference, so I took her back in to have her blood work done, which ruled out kidney failure, diabetes, etc., although she did have a slightly enlarged kidney.

Upon closer examination the vet found a mass in her abdomen, which he suspected was gastrointestinal lymphoma. He said that we could take her to a specialist for a CT scan and proper diagnosis, but it's expensive and I have no savings to dip into. Considering her age (~12 years), the vet recommended that we just make her as comfortable as possible until we feel it's time to put her down. I think today might be the day, but I'm pretty nervous about it.

Everyone says that I'll just know when it's the right time, as if she'd be able to tell me. It's an understandably vague response to a difficult decision that only I can make, but I still have no real idea of what to look for. The only other pet I've had put down was our dog a few years ago and her condition made the choice for me, and I don't want the cat to get that bad. Occasionally, she seems completely normal, while most of the time she simply lays about the room, shifting position frequently, rarely jumps up on anything like the bed and so on. I imagine she's in some sort of pain, but we have no idea how far along the cancer is or how severe the pain is. I'm told cats hide pain well. She still enjoys the company of people, but is spending more and more time on her own, although she isn't hiding.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, as I know my cat better than anyone and I don't expect veterinary advice on a forum. Even the vet can't offer advice beyond making her comfortable and doing what I think is right. I just have no idea what's right at this point. I don't wanna sit on this for too long if she's hurting, but I can't stand the idea of putting her down before she's ready.

(Sorry for being a downer)

You made me a little sad now. I can't even imagine having to some day put my cat to sleep. That must be a really hard decision to make.
I've known the little fella since I went to kindergarden, it's be shattering for me having to kill him, even if it was for his own good.

You're the one who saw her in her prime, so you are best suited to judge her current "quality of life". She'll tell you when she's had enough.

Wow, the end of the life of a pet is about the worst thing someone can go through. Especially if one has to make the decision to end it.

One thing about this process, the cat or dog really does just go to sleep, there is no pain, other than the needle. Also, there are places where you can call and they will come to your house for this, if that is your preference.

This is not easy, but just ask yourself this, do you want your pet to suffer longer so you can have them around longer? You are really ending the animals pain, and that helps, somewhat.

You've had it worse than me.Out of the 3 cats that I have owned, One went missing, I found the other poisoned, and a friend told me that the third had been run over.You can imagine how I felt.I was 5 at the time of the first incident, and 12 at the time of the third.Every cat was female, and was beautiful, and for me perfect.Haven't gotten a pet since.

This scares me... Both of my cats are like 15 and 16 years old so... Ye'h.

Sorry for you though... It's sad to lose an animal that you've live with for a huge amount of your life.

Sorry to hear about it. We had to put our cat down back in the summer of 2011. The only things that made it easier were that he was 18 years old, so he definitely had a long life, and that it was simple kidney failure, which is about as peaceful of a way for an animal to go as one can ask for. I always called him a grizzled old bastard because of how independent he was for his entire life . We never let him outside as he was an indoor cat, though he always seemed to find a way to escape at a couple of times during the summer. He'd only stay out for a few hours though, and then come back to our front steps where he'd wait to be let in.

We also had our Newfie put down last summer, but like our cat, she was ancient for her age (13) so she had a long life. She was also not in any pain; she just couldn't get up anymore and she was very unstable when she was standing. She was the sweetest dog we've ever had.

Good luck. The best way to get past it is to get another pet; always cherish the good times and know that they always outweigh the bad.

Know how you feel wingus. I had to put my dog down on Xmas eve because of a mass in her abdominal area. Sadly, the mass had ruptured, and she was bleeding internally. Vet said the thing was more than likely a tumor with her age. Had to make the difficult choice.

All I can say is what you already mentioned. You will know when the time is right. Best of luck to you.

Wow - makes me remember having to have my old kitty put to sleep. Got her when I was 8 years and make that last trip to the vet with her when I was 23. Something about growing up with a pet makes it the hardest. My vet told me what good owner I was and how she had a very lucky life to be in our home - made me feel a little better.

Your cat will kind of let your know when its time. Mine couldn't use the litter box as was just lying on the floor. She purred all the way to the vet (usually she hated riding in the car and despised the vet's office) and was rubbing my arm with her head when she was on the examing table. Pretty hard to do, but I think she was letting me know it was O.K..

Your best course of action is to put her down sooner than later. Think about this. If you were in her position would you want to suffer? I hate when vets say, 'Just make her as comfortable as possible.' If it were me I'd make the appointment to have her put down yesterday.

My heart goes out to you, Wingus. I had to make the decision to put down two of my cats. The first was the cat I had grown up with, who developed a tumor in her throat twice. (We removed it the first time, but it came back worse.) She was unable to eat, though she wanted to, and we knew there was nothing left to do. The other was about two years ago due to heart failure. I had sort of noticed her breathing oddly but she didn't act funny so I never thought anything of it. By the time she seemed sick, she was in full failure and unresponsive to medication. When the vet informed me I could take her home and let her suffocate to death or put her down at the office, it really removed the choice from me. Didn't make it any easier though.

But, in my opinion, you are never ready for that decision. It will never seem like the "right time". But you know your cat the best, and if she's unable to eat or do much of anything, it may be time to seriously consider it. It's going to be hard no matter what, so you need to remove your emotions from the equation the best you can. I know that's pretty much impossible... I've been there... but that's the only real advice I have.

I'm just so sorry you have to go through this.

Losing a loved one is never easy, be they a human being or a pet. I'm dreading the day we'll have to put down our current cat as she is very affectionate and lovable and we will miss her terribly. However, the only reason we even have her is because our Maine Coon passed away from heart disease about 6 months ago (he was only 2 years old at the time). We didn't have to make a hard choice with him as he went on his own time but having to make the decision to take the life from another creature is a terrible burden.

Thankfully though, the end of one relationship often begets the beginning of another. As long as you keep the memories of her close then she'll never really be away from you.

Sorry wingus. I don't know about the whole "she'll tell you when it's time" thing, maybe that can happen but I think a lot of cats hide things too well and it doesn't become obvious until they are really in bad shape. Considering it is inevitable, I would prefer to do it myself earlier rather than later. I wouldn't want to remember her miserable and in pain, but as she was when she was younger.

I am getting close to having to make the same decision. My 'baby' cat (who is 10, but also the only one of my 4 I have owned since kittenhood) has bone cancer in his jawbone; we just found about about 2 weeks ago. The vet mentioned the only option was surgery, which would remove at least half of his mandible, but I could tell from her voice it wasn't a good option, just one she had to mention. It would also be expensive, at least $3-4,000. Pepper is a very independent indoor/outdoor cat and I couldn't do that to him, even if the surgery was free. He would be absolutely miserable being stuck inside and spoon fed for the rest of his life.

We too are at the "keep him comfortable" stage. He has lost one tooth and eventually he will lose more and it will become too painful for him to eat, he has already had to move away from any kibble and can only eat soft wet food. I just hope he can make it at least another 6 weeks so my daughter can see him before he goes.

Good luck wingus, you'll do the right thing.

That Quoted paragraph in your post brought a tear to my eye

I heard that cats leave the owner and go die on their own. So if she starts to disappear, maybe it's time.

Had you seen it before? It is a pretty well known poem. And very touching.

I have had my dog for 15 years. and it's about time for him to go .

But damn, I didn't think it would be this bad, he was my brother,and I'll always love him. I know what your going through OP it's never easy losing a family member.

http://www.ipicit.net/picit/1360112019.6866.iPicit.jpg

My girlfriend (now wife) and I had to have a very special little cat put down this past summer. It was really tough...she was a really sweet and loving cat and she'd had her for 15 years. She had been rescued from owners that couldn't afford to keep her and had been leaving her out on the streets in Chicago to fend for herself (which she had no idea how to do). I loved that cat. Anyway, she was dying of kidney failure. We had been having her treated for it for years, had her on special food, etc., and extended her life significantly longer, but eventually there was nothing more that anyone could do.

Once we knew she was going to go we just ended up giving her anything and everything she could possibly want for her last couple of weeks. She eventually wouldn't eat anymore at all, started losing bladder control, and generally wasn't doing much but lying around and we knew it was time. We might have waited too long...as you said, cats don't necessarily act like they're suffering until it gets bad. Our longtime vet was very kind and came to our home to put her down, which made things a lot easier. We took her out to the suburbs to my parents' house and buried her under a willow tree where some of my childhood pets are buried. It's a good place for a cat.

Unfortunately nobody can tell you when it's the right time. I would say that when she doesn't seem to be getting anything out of life anymore it's time for her to go. Of course, it's hard to tell when that is.

I know exactly what it's like to wrestle with not wanting to do it too soon vs. not wanting them to suffer. It's an impossible decision to make, but you have to do it anyway. You just have to believe that you're doing the right thing for them. Any way you look at it you're not in for an easy time. For me it was the first time I've cried since I was a kid, which was pretty unexpected.

I'm sorry Wingus. It's never easy to lose a pet. When you love it for any period of time, it becomes family. Losing it is like losing a part of yourself. You have my condolences for your sick kitty. I know it never gets easy losing a pet. :/

This thread made me [censored] cry. I dread the day I have to face this with my own two.

Yeah, I definitely agree with this post. I lost my cat some years ago, and it's horrible.

I'm sure you'll know when the time is right. Now I'm sad, because I love cats.

I am truly sorry my friend. Life is simply a long series of decisions, and sometimes they are hard. You know what the right thing to do is, even if it is the hard thing, and you must do it. Remember, she'll always be in your memories.

svcks having to get a animal put down.I Had to get my 17 year old fox terrier put down last year,I hardly ever cry but I was a mess that day.

It was harder to lose my dog then any human counterpart for some reason.

I'm so sorry wingus, I know how you feel

But, just see how it goes I guess and monitor her! You did all you could for her medical wise, and I'm sure she knows!
On the bright side, you've given her a good life, 12 years is a long time for a kitty ^^