Okay, I'm going on my first real drive today. I'm 21, so I am rather late to the party, but I've developed a slight fear of driving. I keep having thoughts like "What if I don't turn the wheel far enough for a corner while there's an oncoming vehicle in the other lane?", "What if I don't break at the right time at an intersection and either go into it or rear-end somebody?", "What if I focus too much attention on my speed and fail to notice other traffic and stop signs?".

I'm just really nervous about it. One of my biggest concerns is maintaining speed. I have no idea how I'm supposed to stay around 45 on the country roads while focusing most of my attention on the roads themselves. I'm afraid I'll accidentally go well over 45 or something.

I have practiced driving in an empty lot before, but I always started freaking out the moment I got anywhere near 30mph. Now, part of that was probably because it was a rather small lot, and going 30 in it got me from one end to the other in five seconds, but the acceleration still scared me. It felt like the car would never stop accelerating and forever go faster and faster, and it made me wanna put on the brake.

Any helpful tips and reassurances would be great. Being afraid of bees and spiders is one thing, but this is going to become a problem in life if I don't get over it.

The first time I drove a car on the outside I acted calm and on the inside I was like "OH MY GOD I'M MOVING THE CARD GAWD GAWD GAWD NO ONE GET IN MY WAY", but everything went better than expected. You just need to be try and act calm and relax, and when you mess up (you will, everyone does, don't worry about it) think about your mistake and try to rectify it.

It will be fun once you get the hang of it.

I was scared at first, too. You'll get over it bro.

Driving a car is like playing a very boring video game.

If you can play a boring video game, you can drive a car.

It's just like playing Big Rigs, only less realistic.

I was pretty much the same way. I'd never driven a car before driver's ed, and the training vehicle was a minivan. Which...well, I'm sure some people like driving them (since there's so many of them on the roads), but for a first time driver, having 97% of the car's body be behind you was unnerving. So...don't have your first drive be in a minivan. A smaller car with a more even body distribution and turning radius is probably a good choice for a newer driver.

Really, the key is just to relax, and remember: the car is not in control of you. You're in control of the car--you're the one with your hands on the wheel and feet on the pedals. It will not accelerate out of your control if you don't let it. Unless you're driving a Prius HEEEEEYO. Disclaimer: I actually own/drive a Prius now. It hasn't accelerated away from me yet, no matter how many jokes I make about it.

It takes a while to really learn how to divide your attention between the speedometer and all the stuff going on the road. If you're like me, you'll probably drive well under the recommended speed limit for a while because you're too busy concentrating on traffic and signals and whatnot. You learn how to balance the two out eventually, and I wouldn't sweat getting it perfect on even your second or third drive.

Also, as for turning corners. My grandfather taught me a rule that works no matter what car you're driving: when you start going into the turn, brake (gently; just to slow down, not to come into a full stop). When you start coming out of the turn (IE, after you've made it most of the way around the bend), accelerate just as gently. The braking controls your turn for you--so you won't accidentally turn too sharply, or not sharply enough--and the acceleration gives you the momentum necessary to get the car through the turn.

I was terrified of driving when I started, and now I absolutely love it. Just take it slow and you'll be fine.

I had all those fears too and really once you get in and get going..not very long after you realize it wasn't as bad as you thought. It's quite easy to maintain speed and pay attention, just a glance down at the speedo every now and then won't make you swerve off the road or anything. All your fears basically come from never having done it and not being sure of what to expect but trust me, like I said I was the same way and once I started doing it..I realized it wasn't as bad and now it's simple as cake.

:rofl: I actually have quite a few driving and racing simulators, but since I lack a wheel and pedals to play them with, they don't do much for me at all.



I'll be driving a minivan today..oh boy. To be honest, though, I'd rather drive a minivan than a smaller vehicle. It's higher off the ground than they are, which makes higher speeds look a lot less intimidating. The car I practiced in the parking lot with was very small and 20 mph looked like 50.

I'm in the exact same boat as you Sub-Tonic. Except I'm 20 and have had my license for 2 years. What used to make me paranoid were cars practically tailgating me when I'm going the speed limit and a little beyond. It got me a ticket once. I was too fixated on the car behind me that I didn't see a stop sign and ran it. I told the officer my dilemma and the advice he gave me was to pay more attention in front than in back. Even though being tailgated does bother me still, I followed his advice and focus more on the activity from the front and sides. If I get rear ended, it's not my fault.

The next situation is like the first example you give. I was making a right hand turn on a red and there seemed to be no oncoming traffic. It was hard to see, as the left hand intersection was on a hill. Well I look left, right, left and made my turn only to fender-bender a car who just crossed the intersection when I looked away. I didn't have insurance, but luckily we didn't get them involved and I paid for the minor damages. What I learned was to be more cautious with my timing.

What I like to do is take the freeway to my destinations because you don't have to stop for stop signs or traffic lights. The only tough part is getting on the freeway and merging. It's a lot more easier for me. I too am scared of driving and equate it to a necessary chore. My advice would be to find different routes that may be easier to navigate. It's helped me somewhat.

+1

Its really not difficult at all.Its just a matter of getting use to a vehicle which you can do in 10-15 minutes.Start driving around in an empty parking lot if you have to, so you can get a feel for its handling.

A good driving instructor rids you of most fears.

You say you've practiced a bit, it was with a driving instructor right ? Because else said practice was illegal.

If I'm misunderstanding and you've already finished whatever mandatory base driving lessons you have to take before being allowed to practice with a guardian driver (10 classes where I live) then you should chat it up with said guardian driver about it.

If I′m misunderstanding further and you've taken the test and passed and are driving on your own (is that what you mean with first real drive ?) I suppose the best thing is just to take things slowly, drive always one route (like to your workplace) and learn it, then add another route (like to a friend) and then another and confidence builds up as you keep driving in more and more different locations.

Now if I′m misunderstanding even further and you are only talking about driving on country roads with your driving lisence and all the only thing I can say is it's a ton easier than driving in the city, even if it seems scary at first once you settle into it you will feel city driving is more scary than country driving, at least I felt that way myself.

When I was like 10 or 11, I would compete in jr. drag racing. If you've never seen top fuel on TV, basically it's a 1v1 race on a straight track. The real deciding factor is your reaction time, how fast you slam the gas as soon as the light turns green. I kind of didn't like it at the time, but I miss it now. I was pretty good, and my last year I won first place, and 60 bucks.

But enough about me, I don't really have any other advice sub_tonic then too just GO FOR IT and bury your fear. Of course that's easier said then done.

It's how you pick up chicks.

that's enough encouragement.

I was exactly the same, and still get nervy on parkways and motorways. The key is to relax and practise, because it does get easier once you've been doing it a while. Also, don't feel pressured by other cars to go faster than you want. Put the learner/just passed plates on your car and everyone will understand, and if they are still right up to your bumper then they're just dikes. Make sure you take corners nice and slow and if you do ever feel really panicked just park up the car somewhere safe for a bit and chill out.
Always make sure you've got plenty of time to get to where you need to be, because feeling rushed will just make it more stressful.

[Edit] With accelerating, you shouldn't be just slamming your foot down. You can accelerate as gradually as you like, and you'll find it's easy to maintain a speed with practice too - you'll know when to ease off and maintain pressure fairly quickly I reckon.

My girlfriend was exactly the same way as you, she hated driving and was so scared. Now that she has a license and drives often she loves it.

Honestly youre over anolyzing the driving experience, which isn't surprising given the load of info kids are fed these days about how dangerous driving is and you're gonna die or whatever. Yeah, you need to pay attention while driving, but it will all come natural once you've familiarized yourself with the road.

No it's not. You do not require a driver's licence to drive on a parking lot, and in most countries, any person who's had his driver's licence for a certain time can be a driving instructor.

As for fear of driving, I think everyone's had it at one point or another, but you need to keep this in mind: many people on the road are absolute MORONS, and most of them have gotten their driver's licence and driven for years without an accident. You're not a moron, so if they can do it, so can you. I was a bit apprehensive about driving as well (I think everyone with half a brain was when starting out), but I loved driving once I had some practice, and you'll be the same. Trust me, it's not difficult, you just need to get used to it.



Then you hit another car, you both get out of the car and fill out your insurance papers. It's not the end of the world. Really, it isn't. What you should be worried about is hitting a pedestrian or a cyclist, or having an accident when you're driving fast. So in order to do that, always focus on vulnerable road users (watch out for those motorcycles!), and don't drive recklessly or ignore the speed limit. Drive carefully but confidently, and don't get your chain yanked by hasty bastards behind you who flash their lights or honk their horn to pressure you into going over the speed limit.

My driving instructor always said, "The entirety of traffic regulations can be summed up by two things you may never do: don't put anyone in danger and don't needlessly hinder anyone." And he's right. So drive confidently, dare to drive as fast as the speed limit allows, unless you consider it too dangerous, and always keep your eyes open. 90% of all traffic accidents are caused by one or more drivers being distracted, so just keep your mind on what you're doing and you'll be perfectly fine.

In fact, a driver is at his most vulnerable not when he's learning and starting out, but at the moment when he feels he's a good driver and starts thinking he'll never get into an accident. It's that phase which is dangerous, because usually, he's not, or not yet.

I was like that in the beginning as well. Basically what made me continue was the thought that "Look, there are millions of people that do it everyday. If they can, why not me?". You get over it after a while.

I failed my first driver's exam because I did that, my examiner (is that a real word?) told me that I drove like a granny and wasn't yet ready for my license. Really embarrassing, but he was absolutely right.

Like with many things, you get better in time. Two more driving exams and four years of experience after that, and now I'm as good a driver as anyone. Don't listen to what Tamriel Terror said though, if you can't keep an eye out for other traffic on all sides of your vehicle while also checking for stop signs and all that, than you're not yet fit to drive without supervision.

Stormrider's advice is very good, especially the last part, so listen to the man!

Edit: The second last part, the thing that his instructor said. The last part is true as well. Over here, for most people that happens when they just have their license and think they're Michael Schumacher, when getting your driver's license only means that you have only just arrived at the point where you are not a danger to anyone. Many accidents are caused by teenagers who overestimate their own abilities.

Best thing to do is start in a quiet area - some residential neighborhood or rural spot. When you get bored of putting around you'll most likely then have the nerve to try more hectic situations. It's like anything, once you do it enough it becomes automatic. The key is to be where you won't get too freaked out until the "automatic" part kicks in.

Hahaha, ouch!

(and yes examiner is a real word, though I'm not sure it's used in this particular meaning, you'd have to ask a native speaker about that)


Medivh's advice is very good, especially the part above


Indeed. If you have a radio, by the way, try to hold off on using it until you're confident enough as a driver, and if you use it, fight the temptation to start mucking about with it in traffic. I know you won't be able to stop yourself sometimes, but try to keep it to a minimum. You don't want to have an accident because you were *ahem* fiddling with knobs ^_^

When I drive I'm mainly afraid of the other drivers, not of what mistakes I would make. See, I like to drive the speed limit, and a lot of people on the road don't seem to agree with that... :confused:

Yeah, I should have added the disclaimer that I took driver's ed at 16 and didn't feel ready to take the exam until I was almost 18. (I passed on the first try, though. ...Just had to promise the instructor I wouldn't try to parallel park too much.) In the intervening year or so I finally learned how to drive the speed limit and pay attention to the road simultaneously.

And I'll second the motion that Stormy's advice is very good indeed.

I have fears of driving too. Everyone is just dying to drive (I'm 15), but honestly I just want to avoid it as long as possible.

Don't be afraid of the other drivers, that's completely pointless: you can't change what they do. But that's why, in Belgium, you get courses in Defensive Driving: it's not enough to make sure you don't make mistakes, but you're also taught to anticipate the mistakes others make, and to compensate for them instead of saying, 'well the accident will be his fault so I'm not gonna bother being careful'. Defensive driving is one of the few things I like about this crap country.


"Miss... I'll give you your licence, but please, please promise me you'll always double park. For the good of us all!"