» Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:28 am
Dragonborn: "I'd like to see the Skyrim movie, please."
Skyrim Theaterplex: "Sure thing. That'll be 1000g, please."
DB: "But I don't have that kind of money. Can I get a matinee?"
ST: "Sorry, but we're sold out. My manager said if you do this quest for him, he'll give you some gold."
DB: "Okay, I'll do it!"
ST: "Here you go. Clear out the trash bins around the city."
DB: [hours later] "I'm back."
ST: [pays 100g] "There you go."
DB: "I'm still short. Curses, just 50g more is all I need. Any more work I can do?"
ST: "Sure thing. Go rid the competing theater of all its guests."
DB: "But I don't kill people like that."
ST: "Then no movie."
DB: "Curses. Can't believe this theater's making me do things I don't want to do. Oh well." [completes quest and returns 2 days later] "Okay, what did I earn?"
ST: "Here's 100g and 5 amethysts. Good, you've enough to buy a ticket. Here you go."
DB: "Wait. This is only a third of the ticket. Where's the rest?"
ST: "Dunno. Try scouring the country for the other two pieces."
DB: [angry, and storms out. Weeks later, a return] "Found them. I lost my date and my ride in the process. This movie better be worth it."
ST: "Uh, yeah. Okay, you can go inside."
DB: [goes inside and is about to sit when it's noticed there are no seats] "Hey, there are no seats! What's going on?"
ST: "Oh, right. Ready to upgrade, eh? So, what do you want: seat for 500g, armrest with cup holder for 200g, or movie theater screen for 5000g?"
DB: [whips out dual daedric daggers and goes to town. Maniacally laughs as the ticket agent's head is removed from their shoulders. Goes on a rampage of killing and looting, but never got to see the movie or its sequel, which was based on their life]
Fin.