I eat Mcdonalds and im proud of it, i eat cheese also and im proud of that, and pasta, sorry off topic. Seriously though rushing into marriage and causing stresses is also a great way to be not married anymore, alot of my freinds married young and were divorced young, shortest marriage was 6 months, most 2 or 3 years. Two people make up a marriage and its something you need to talk to your partner about seriously.

My aunt and uncle were togeather for like 10+ years before getting married. People basically considered them married before then given the nature of the relationship. I wouldn't pressure it too much. Just do what your doing, and when it's affordable get married. If you want the ceremony for traditions sake. Nothing says you HAVE to get married right now or ever, as long as your in a good relationship ect. When they finally did marry it was just a small ceremony type deal, nothing overtly extravagent or anything ect.

Theres nothing wrong with eating or liking Mcdonalds. Hell, I love McDs, but I wouldn't brag about it.

The thread title is a bit immature....its not fair that you don't have the money to do what you want? Welcome to life

There are a few financial benefits to getting married. Some of those insurance costs might be lower for a married couple, rather than 2 separate people. Though still more than it would be just paying for your insurance. There is also the tax return, that is a bit bigger when you are married. I'm sure there are some other benefits too, but someone who's been married will have to say what those are. Of course, there are finanical cons too, especially if it goes the divorce route, but I wouldn't worry about that so much.

But really, you should be talking to her about this as well. Telling her you want to finish schooling first and see what she says, go over the financial situation etc. You guys should have a joint checking account where the majority of yours and hers money will go to, to pay for the bills. Some people just have that checking account only, some have that and then accounts for themselves..but that's something you'll have to talk to her about.

Regardless, talk to her before you make any decisions. I'm saying you should wait till you are done with schooling too, and make sure you guys want it.

This is exactly what my brother did.

Like my girl Beyonce says, "if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it."

who is paying for those now?

and becoming engaged is cheap, compared to the wedding

This. While I would NEVER advise somebody to engage to a girlfriend in college or even have a girlfriend in college, it's a viable option. Get her a decent ring, propose and be engaged through college and some years after until you get a source of income to support being married.

But also remember that it won't only be you paying for those bills, if your girlfriend has any ambition whatsoever to be anything more than a house mom. And also keep in mind that almost everything you listed as being afraid you won't be able to afford are things that EVERYBODY has to maintain once living on their own in the real world. While getting married does throw some new responsibilities your way, it's not like they're all new. I'm in college, so I'm not speaking out of experience per se, but my brother is 23, fresh out of college and was struggling with a lot of what you listed before getting lucky with a perfect corporate job.

Why do you think getting married will suddenly force you to have to pay your bills? Have you seriously not been paying your bills until now? Do you live in some bizzare state where unmarried men (or women) are exempt from debts and obligation?

Ok, that was sarcastic (or maybe sardonic ) but the real truth is that marriage isn't some magical ceramony that changes everything. If you're a kid who's dependant on your parents, geuss what? Marriage will just turn you into a married kid who's dependant on your parents.

Think of it this way, how long is two years compared to the rest of your life? You may not be willing to wait now, however I myself would sacrifice two years for the well-being of the rest of my life. Now days it's almost required to have a college degree to get a job, so stick with it and you'll thank yourself later in life.

Also, if she's been with you for 5 years then she'll probably be able to last another two.




That's actually a really good idea. I suggest joining the Air Force. From what I've heard and what I've researched it's by far the best choice. It's been described to me by people in the service as more of a "9 to 5" job then actual military service. They also put you in really nice hotels when you're shipped out if you aren't living on base. The benefits and pay are great for what you do as well.

Joining the AFROTC during college is still one of the choices I'm considering.

However, wait until you're out of college to join and have your 4-year degree. That way you can go through OCS and have a possibility of becoming an Officer with a higher payroll and better military job/position.

Do you know the financial situation of every one of your friends?

Not a lot of couples are going to have a lot of money when they first start off their marriage so I'm not surprised at what you're saying.

Oh and if you think you'll be prepared and have enough money for your first child think again. Just the cost of diapers are going to be hell on your wallet let alone what you got to feed the kid.

Edit: Also, as I seen it suggested in the thread earlier, it won't be advantageous to join the military for benefits/money depending on how old you are. If you're younger and plan to make it a career it will be worth in when you retire but other than that it probably won't be all that much help.

Also, depending on how that military career would go it could be hell on your relationship especially if you are gone for a long period of time or have to move around constantly.

I'd to be the Bearer of reason in all this, but you're asking the people of the Internet for relationship advice

given the wide demographic of players of Bethesdian games it's not a bad Idea to ask about such things here

We offer the best relationship advice than any video game forum out there.

Wow... I love all the different opinions that you guys and gals have given. It made it easier to get more opinions on the matter. Except joing the military. THAT is not going to happen. And as for me bragging about having a girlfriend, I will brag because I am proud to have such a wonderful girl in my life, and I will brag until I am dead about it. So there... haha

But in all seriousness thank you guys for your input. And the reason I put "This isn't fair" as my title is not because I am immature. It's because I have really wanted to marry this girl for about a year and a half now, and I keep seeing everyone getting married and I have been waiting. It was what I was thinking. Sorry if it was immature for some people, but since I can speak the truth I will speak the truth.

And as for my bills, I do not pay a lot of my own bills. I don't live with my parents, but I have been blessed so much that it really hasn't been that much of an issue for me. Of course I do pay some, but I still don't pay as much as others. It was me thinking out loud. As all other forum members do in all sections of the forums...

Thanks again everyone! You really helped. I would've quoted, but there was just too many good posts (and... not so good ones). I didn't want to make a huge reply.

For the person who said to dump my girlfriend... I have tried that. And after breaking up with her twice (and not dating anyone when we were apart or even thinking about dating anyone else) I have decided that in no way will I ever get rid of her. She's too important.

I am still mulling it over and haven't made a decision yet. I am thankful to those who took this seriously.

This turned out to be a huge reply after all... Dangit...

Did JAHO ever become an official meme? If so we're bloody legendary...

True, the JAHO advice has worked out at least once already.

I'd say slow down mate. I was engaged to my girlfriend for 6 years and we have two children. We split up a short while ago and to be honest, I think this is the happiest I've been in about 3 years. Since we didn't get married, splitting up cost me nothing.

Just saying, maybe that's a better option that legaly binding yourself to someone and entitling them to half your stuff when you realize that you can no longer stand the sight of them.

http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab216/asapp152/201201262226565426.jpg

Well, at least you've exhausted the option before brushing it aside!

You shouldn't worry that everyone else is getting engaged, it's all about when YOU are ready. Marriage is a huge commitment and many people rush into it now-a-days.

You know I hate that you keep saying this, but in all honesty you make a very good point. Maybe some people need to do that more often to see if they actually want the girl, or guy, or... thing.. and are not just dating that person because they think that's all they can get. Good show my good man.


I agree I think that a MAIN reason the divorce rate is higher is because of the rushed marriages. It's more like they want all the budget benifits for being married, but they figure out that the budget benifits aren't really budget benifits.

Just because all of your friends are selling drugs part time to get extra money doesn't mean you should.

No, it means you should be able to buy them at a discount.