Obviously the war between Werewolf’s and Vampires has been adapted in many ways in pop culture. Will Skyrim keep with them as fierce enemies? I’m picturing vampires armed with silver weaponry versus a group of pissed-off werewolf’s… would be sooo cool.
Well, Jsashe, I'm glad you asked that question. You see, I'm a werewolf, and I live in Skyrim.
So you want to know how I feel about vampires, eh? I'll tell you.
Vampires are very impressed with themselves, but we werewolves call them...the jellyfish of the night. They make us laugh. They think they're special, but they aren't. They think it's fun to be a vampire, but it's actually pretty silly. If they drink blood, it weakens them. What strengthens them is their thirst, which only results from NOT drinking blood. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that vampires get their power from drinking blood. Well, it's not true. They get weaker by giving into their thirst. The blood only weakens them. Yet they are doomed to crave it.
Have you ever seen the jellyfish of the night when they haven't had their witto itty bitty sippy o' blood? Hahaha - their faces sag and become horribly disfigured. Sure, they become stronger, but they can't walk around in public. Even the sun can't stand to be around them, so it burns them. Hahaha - they look like wrinkled old prunes, shriveling up in the sunlight. Have you ever seen a more pathetic sight than a fragile, delicate, jellyfish of the night sizzling in the sun? It's a sight not to be missed, I can assure you.
And did you know that no one has ever died from the bite of a vampire? Yes, that's right. For all of their hype, the jellyfish of the night are completely benign. Some might say spineless. They're like a kitty cat that's been de-clawed. Whoops! Can't scratch that post now, can ya wittle kitty katty! Hee hee!
Vicious enemies? Hardly. Werewolves don't consider vampires their enemies any more than you might consider ants your enemy. Sure, if one gets in your house, you're going to kill it, possibly call an exterminator. But that's about it. They're not worth our time. They cannot compare to the glory that is Lycanthropy.
Where vampires can only sneak up to people in their beds and take a tiny little sip of blood, like some kind of perverted Sandman, Werewolves can tear their enemies to pieces and feast on their remains. Where vampires get weaker when they drink blood, werewolves are invigorated by gorging themselves on flesh. In fact, we must feed on the flesh of our victims, lest our were-health runs out and we revert back to being human again. Werewolves have power. Vampires are a joke.
But I am but a mere golem. My master feels quite differently about vampires than I do. He is so frustrated that vampires are the same in Skyrim as they were in Oblivion, that he has vowed to seek them all out, hunt them down and kill them, feasting on their spineless bodies and wiping them off the face of the earth. He says he will name me Lucian, whatever that means. Something about the underworld or something and the great injustice done against werewolves in the name of vampires or something. Whatever. I'm just a golem.
Command me, my master.