Stop playing on consoles. Magic fix.
How does playing on PC make multiplayer any better? I actually find public lobbies on the PC to be even worse than console. The amount of hackers and mods is ridiculous (assuming we are talking about competitive multiplayer, sandbox games can be a blast).
There isn't much you can do with competitive multiplayer, what seems to be missing is a real team based multiplayer game, and the last person (Brink) who tried that failed, so not many companies are willing to branch out when they already have a formula that works.
I don't really play much multiplayer anymore though, besides the occasional GTA IV screw-around session. Can't wait for V.