I don't think it will change your enjoyment of Skyrim. You might enjoy Skyrim more, as that will be your escape, your spa, your vacation, between cries, bottles, diapers, sleep and work. There are two of you to split the duties, so be fair and see that she has twice as much "me time" for her, than you take for yourself... She will need it! You may have to share Skyrim with her... lol (The only down-side.)

Indeed. Lol, Skyrim is already being used as my escape, as it is! I suffer with a major anxiety disorder, and used to spend at least 2 days per month on average in the emergency room at the hospital for panic attacks back in 2002 - 2003.

My greatest fears in life have always been death, and being a father.

It is crazy because this is the time in my life when I have never had more peace of mind, and happiness.

Now, all of a sudden, I get this news.

hey, no kid ever goes to admire their parents, they always want to be some rockstar or somebody famous, just be yourself, some google research won't do any harm, but most importantly never forget that your child is born free and needs to remain free, if he/she becomes something that you don't like then you should always support them, that is the key to making a child happy.

Well, that will surely cure your anxiety, or at-least make it more manageable...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaO4fV87x7Q

Death is unavoidable, and worrying about it is failing to grasp the purpose of being alive in the first place... Your child may curb that fear too... But the fear will never go away... That is what keeps us alive. (Those who don't fear death, see it sooner. It is a scientific fact. lol. On the other end... those who worry about it too much, see the same fate. Stress related.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCATUMIKd58

When my GF told me she was pregnant... I completely freaked... (I was 17, she was 26, and we were both in a questionable state of being. I went through a phase as most teens do... it was intensified by being homeless, until I met her. That didn't end well. She never had the baby. That is when I came up with the "plan" to never have children. I never wanted to feel that fear again.)

Once she hits 6-7months, life as you now know it will change drastically. And just when you settle in to *those* changes, you'll be a brand new papa and life will change again. It's not a bad thing, not at all, just different. For the next 5 years, most of you life will be consumed by "the baby" in one way or another. BUT, that doesn't mean life as not-a-dad ends, far from it. You'll just have a lot LESS time for Skyrim, but not no time at all. The best case scenario, for you, is if mama briast feeds and co-sleeps. Babies raised that way have MUCH quieter nights, and it's much easier on the parents. BTDT.

"
I agree with you. No parent should ever put his hobbies in front of his kids.

I am not going to do that, however, I will admit that it seems like a hard thing to do. Maybe that will all change when it is born.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the way I am feeling.

It was an accident, not planned. So I am trying to figure out how to plan for it, being as how I do not know anything about being a parent at all.

I smoke pipes and tobacco, listen to European Black Metal, and play Skyrim when I am not at work.

My wife and I have a great marriage, and we worked very hard to get it where it is.

I guess I am afraid of allot of things."


Just be glad that you have a wife that is still with you, and is willing to carry your child..Even though she knows you're a gamer.. (And an RPG gamer at that! ) Yes, it is the most difficult thing to overcome this fear, because it means that you are now responsible for another human life, but instead of succumbing to fear, simply view it as yet another challenge, that is what's so great about us gamers, we readily jump at the chance to do battle with any challenge, no matter how big or small!

BTW, You MUST read http://www.ironycentral.com/babymain.html

Definitive reading for any and all gamers with children!

Ppl should breed less adopt more, if they want there children to have a world to have there own children in. just my opinion, the idea of trivilising having a child down to not having enough time to play games shows imo why you probably shouldnt have the child, not saying it wont be loved or that you wont be good parents it just what i said above is important imo. sorry anyway must exspress my opinion dont feel this as a snipe at you op. i wish your new familiy all the best.

Ok, I like you now... lol... I changed my opinion of you, if that matters...

You are human, and I ask forgiveness, for my thinking otherwise...

{Bows}

When i first read this post you sounded like you wasnt happy at all because you think your fun is now over, but as i read more i get what you were trying to say. me being a father of 3 can tell you that your life will change if you want to be a good father. it brings alot of change and often times stress in your life then theres the times that make you feel so happy. like when you teach them new things or buy them new toys and watch how much they get into them it makes it all worth it and will make you smile. and as far as gaming once they get older im sure theyll enjoy games to. all 3 of my kids do and we got the kids a wii for christmas and just dance 3 and me and the wifes been enjoying it with them although i feel really silly doing those dances it makes it really fun watching them laugh at me. but just make sure you are a good father. and it may be a good idea to not let the girl your with know your kinda down and out because alot of your free time will now be taking up with the baby. she has feelings to and women expect the men to be there with them during it and support them. the last thing they wanna hear is im pregnant then the guy says something like what man crap. let her know your happy about it but maybe a little scared and talk about it.

Fo-ghet-abowd-it! <--Yeah, I'm from the North-east..


Which is why I never take anything said on-line personally...That's one of the most important life lesson I ever learned!

And believe me, I heard much, much MUCH worst from people who didn't have one twentieth the decency that you have..Besides you were simply defending someone who you thought was being flamed..

Psychologically turn the coin... To let her know your feelings, without making you look like the bad guy...

Instead of telling her flat-out... "Hey, I'm kind-of scared about all this parent stuff." (Makes you sound ignorant to her possible doubts, and comes-off as sounding selfish. She is the one with the full belly! lol.)

Say this instead... "Does this scare you? Being a parent?" (Also turns you into a father/authority, when you talk like that... like you are "Sure", and "Concerned".)

(It implies that you might feel that way, but are possibly seeing her deeper unvoiced concerns too. It makes you look like the good guy, and opens-up the conversation for all the mushy talk. Focus on reassuring her, and that in-turn, will reassure you, as well.)

You can do that with most things... It is like a form of reverse psychology.

What-ever roller-coaster you are on... emotionally... she is going to be on a faster one, with more twists and turns, and larger drops... She needs you to get-off and support her more than you need support. Just don't mention anything about "being drawn away from the game.", which is falling back to the "selfish-side" of things...

Me too... I am originally from the frigid cold state of Connecticut... Right next door... now living calmly in warm and cozy Florida... Soooo much better... Nothing is personal, it is all just words and thoughts.
Another sign that you are human... (Your reply.) And Ditto...

Once you hold that baby for the first time, ANYTHING you were worried about NOT being able to do will magically disappear. Truly. Yeah, you might have to take a 5 year hiatus from gaming. But you won't care. At least, I didn't. And it won't be a COMPLETE hiatus, you'll just have a lot less time for it. No biggie, really, it's called GROWING UP. Seriously. Why do you think Dads get breaks on car insurance?

Thank you ALL VERY MUCH for all of your advice, both hard advice, and smooth advice.

Now, go comment on my topic about Nord dimples

nice, as that is my name irl

My father told me, "don't be the victim in life. Be the victor."

I always knew I wanted to name my firstborn son Victor after that.

Relax and take it easy. For the first few years when the kid won't require constant attention (babies sleeping a whole lot) you and your wife both can have your together or alone time although it will be limited to in-between-the-four-walls as you can't leave that tiny thing alone. When the rascal starts walking you will need to be more alert but at the same time you can introduce the kid to video gaming without being a bad parent or anything silly like that. My mother played simple video games (DYNA and Drakan, yes, it was the age when Win95 was considered top quality) to chill out a little in-between looking after either me or my sisters and we loved to gather around her and watch. When we got old enough we were allowed to try our hands at certain levels in the game and that sort of thing. It was a lot of fun, entertained us, allowed my mom to relax and brought the family together. It was the only time my sisters and me weren't arguing over something petty, I think.

Honestly, what will seriously limit your gaming time is work. I don't know what you or your wife does now but having a child and keeping it well fed, clothed and happy requires a hefty sum, especially when they get older. So a well-paying job is in order, although this is different for every country. Where I live the country is knee deep is financial sh*t so the average salary for 8 hour honest work equals to "if you're lucky, you can pay the bills from this but don't expect much food or new clothes" type of thing, so my folk had to work a lot. Hopefuly that dosen't apply to your country.

Oh and good luck with everything! Stay strong in the last months of pregnancy. My father once told me my mom became a hungry ball of hormones in the 7th month with every pregnancy and got easily annoyed or amused and ate a lot's of, lot's of cake. I wish the best to you two!

I really appreciate it. I am in the USA. I work as a security officer, my wife, a phrmacy technician.

We do not make very much. Just enough to keep the bills paid.

Heh, now this is a rare surprise. Congratulations to both of you, OP. Unfortunately, I cannot provide any advice as I'm still far too young and inexperienced in life (knowing me, I'd be a surprised if I were ever in your position... but then again, so would anyone, I suppose), but I wish a smooth and happy future for you. Obviously and justifiably it's somewhat of a shock and all I could provide you would be speculation about topics I lack knowledge in, but from what others say, comfort should come to you in time.

yep. my son was born on 12/23. a little dude of 2 weeks old. when he is eating my wife [censored] I have at least one long hour of playtime, woot !

He eats your wife? Lol.

Oh no, only one hour!?

he eats my wife t*i*t*s but that was censored.
yes, new born are drinking every 3/4 hours , so a one hour drink is not that bad

Those are nice, stable jobs! Maybe not ones with sky-high salary but in times of the global financial troubles there will always be a demand for people working in the security or pharmacy field. It's like for ex. lawyers, doctors and plumbers will always find a job because they became necessarry for our society by now. Also, although I do not live there I heard from friends who do that the USA offers several ways for the less fortunate to get some financial aid, especially if they have kid(s). Might be worth looking into this early on.

Nice. I named my one year old victor. At least you have a hobby that really doesn't include you leaving the house. I'm a roofer and my wife works nights and weekends, so's I'm pretty much screwed when it comes to alone time. This game is just great for that.

Dude. Seriously. Be a father. The game will be there.

Now, having said that. I became a father in 2010. Best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife and I have a system. I still play video games, Skyrim, Fallout, Wasteland, Metro 2033, Batman. Now do I play a lot for as long as I want? No. But I still play.

Jeez, I was feeling all audacious having wabbajacked my followers..

you really go all out to work around the follower leveling issue huh?