Right now, I just heard: "COME OUT! COME OUT! COME OUT!"

Then: "YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME."

And then: "I love Fluttershy."

What makes you think that your family is the spawn of insanity?

Or what makes you think you are the spawn of insanity? This needs a good topic...

My family were out having dinner one time and one of us made a joke on how we were born (Like if we grew up with wolves and stuff lol) and I jokingly asked "Mom, how was I born?"

"I farted and out you came"

-_-

But I love my family, they may be goofy sometimes but hey, laughter is good medicine! :yes:

If I heard your "awkward" things I'd think my family suddenly became cooler. Like, 20% cooler.

This :hubbahubba:

Why I'd say your family has a very healthy interest in MLP:FiM as for me I have a family who insists on getting wasted (uhu ok), on new years eve (yes, and ?), just before they shoot up their fireworks... (oh...)

=.= Honestly we've accidentally ended up shooting a firework onto another persons house and once I had to pull my mom out of the line of fire of a firework that had toppled over and flew right past us...

And every time the next year I'm like "um, remember last year ?" and they're like "eh, what happened last year ?" XD

Insane.

A few weeks ago I walked into the kitchen to find my dad running around with a can of bug spray spraying it everywhere... including over a table where my tea cup was. So I yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT'S MY TEA CUP!"

so he replies very seriously "well... if you get sick or die then you're probably a bug"

My family is beyond insane, even my friends think that everyone in my family is crazy. Last time I had some friends over my sister (who is 10) tried to hadouken one of my friends. :huh:

Mum: "Telling the family members that their mother was just killed by their father was surreal, like a comedy show."

Me: "How was that at all like a comedy show?" :blink:

Mum: "Oh, you know. HA [censored] HA."

Oh go on, we all know that you don't have friends...

:P

I'd love to meet your dad, sounds like an entertaining guy.

My Mum decided to put a litre of maggots in a coolbox for her fishing trip the next day. Long story short, they escaped during the night and there were maggots EVERYWHERE. She tried to catch them all but a few must have eluded her. Afterwards whenever she saw a fly in the house she'd shout "there goes another one!".

As a side note, I left home years ago - nothing more awkward than having friends over and them stumbling across the tupperware tub full of maggots in the fridge.

My dad once threw a quiche over his shoulder through the dining room window after he took a bite and didn't like it. The window looked out onto the pavement down below, I guess it was lucky no-one happened to be walking past at the time. I don't think that qualifies him for 'spawn of insanity' status though. 'Food terrorist' maybe.

My dad's pretty nuts. He works in forestry, with heavy machinery. He had several tonnes worth of machinery hoisted up pretty dodgily, it slipped onto his thumb and he ripped it off at the first knuckle. So what does he do? Gathers all his workers around and starts lecturing them that "this is what happens when you're [censored] stupid." With his thumb all mangled and bleeding. Must have been the shock or something, my brother had to stuff him in the car to get him to hospital.

Yesterday he was waving a box of muesli bars around yelling at me "HAVE YOU EATEN ALL MY MUESLI BARS??" I pointed out that in fact the box hadn't actually been opened yet and he says, "Oh."
Also accused my brother of stealing hose pipe for the digger. My brother wouldn't even have a use for this hose pipe, and not only because there's only an off chance that the fittings would be the right size.

He once asked our dog if he was alright in the back of the car and got angry when the dog didn't reply.

Yeah....he has a lot of brain scarring, I think that has something to do with it. Or it could be all the fumes he inhales from all his years of unsafe industry practices. Also blew himself up grinding the top off an unwashed oil drum. Grinding makes sparks. Third degree burns all over the front of him, he looked like Freddy Kreuger for a month.

This is more just weird than awkward, but my Dad, my brother and I once played a game where we sat at the kitchen table and spun a coin in the middle, and then we each tried to grab it by slapping our hands down on top of it as fast as we could. It ended in bright red hands and little dents in the table, but it was fun

This thread deserves a medal.

My sister threw a huge catalogue at me once, I ran out of the way and it split perfectly in two on the edge of a door. She always throws things, remotes, cups, etc, without reason.

One time she stole a chocolate orange of mine and hid it in my brother's room, so I went and punched my brother, thinking he had done it, expecting him to laugh jocularly about his prank.

He stood up and said: "always attacking Me For NO REASON!"

And then he went psycho, punching and kicking me. In shock I fell onto the floor, and he continued beating me while I said "stop, there's been a mistake! Someone has tricked both of us!"

He replied with "stop [censored] LYING! You always DO THIS!"

My dad, a person who has repaired X-Ray Equipment for 25 years, likes to talk through an oven mitt whenever he happens to find one on his hand, which is pretty much whenever he gets bored.

Also, I'm not sure if this is just a "parent thing" but I could never play a single video game near him without him whistling whatever tune was playing at the time for about an hour afterwards.

Most of it I can't actually say here because of the rules. But one recent story comes to mind.

I was visiting my dad near the end of June to celebrate a couple of birthdays with him. He lives in a nice white neighborhood, so when a car with four black guys in it stops at the stop sign, his racism senses started tingling. They sat at the stop sign with their hazard lights on for about 5 minutes while my dad and stepmom were buzzing about how it must be a gang and they were going to burst through the door any minute. I, having grown up in a predominantly black neighborhood, disagreed. I asked if they wanted me to go see if they needed directions. When I went to walk out the door, I was physically restrained by my much stronger than me father.

This is where it gets weird. They called 911. Their emergency was 'There's a car with black people in it stopped at the stop sign.' When the dispatcher told them that's not an emergency, they got angry and questioned why they payed taxes for emergency services. I responded with some colorful words and haven't spoken to them since. They disgust me.

On the plus side, my mom is great! We often joke about hokers n' stuff.

There was a Huntsman Spider on the couch, so my dad overkilled it with the bug spray that it was like...drowning the bubbles or frothy stuff

Haha, my dad is embarassing, but it's funny. Whenever I have a friend(s) over, he always sings. One time, at the dinner table, he was like, "ONE BANANA, TWO BANANA, THREE BANANA, FOUR BANANA...." and so on. Then when we were sitting playing on the PS3, "Oh, you guys are so quiet! Like three little mice! SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK."

Oh, and he laughs like Count Dracula from Seasame Street.

Whenever I play Fallout New Vegas, and Jonny Guitar plays, my dad goes, "I KNOW THIS SONG!" and would hum to it but get half the notes wrong. I love my dad ^_^


My brother and I did a similar thing, except, when the coin was going *spinny-spinny-spinny* we had to flick it, and hoped it still spun. It failed. We took turnks flicking the coin, but if you failed, you'd have the coin thrown at your knuckles. Actually, whichever games my brother and I play, it always has one basic rule "You lose, and your punishment is pain".

OH YES. There was a time whne I was feeling pissed, so my brother was like, "Do you have Male PMS? I THINK YOU DO!"

Usual source of craziness eminates from parents... Mom comments on seeing sparks from a car she passes by too close.

Proving that little girls are the root of all evil.

Nah, she's 17.

Proving that little girls women are the root of all evil.

An incident springs to mind that happened when I was a kid.

I used to have this metal tray that I had my dinner on, and one day I was banging on it with a spoon to tell my dad to hurry up with my bowl of ravioli in tomato sauce, so he starts running with it. Anyway he trips and flings the bowl at the wall. The wall was white. Seeing all this ravioli and sauce sliming down the wall sure stopped me banging my tray with my spoon. We had to redecorate, since the stain wouldn't come out :rofl:

I think that was the first time I heard my dad swear.

So... Then what happened? Did you get your chocolate orange back?

The only awkward thing around my house (excluding myself) is my sister. She is way too comfortable around her family, walking around in a towel, a tank top you can see her bra through, and shirts that show so much cleavage it's insanity. Even worse, she's horribly outspoken about generally disgusting things, saying stuff like "I just took the biggest dump". She even talked about her six life in detail over the phone with me in the same [censored] room.

She frightens me. It's like living with your most obnoxious and vulgar friend, only it's your sister and none of it is funny or charming. Good god. :cold: