After diving head first into the alternative, superior reality of Skyrim, a return to the "real world" can be daunting.
Should you have the courage to visit such a scary place, here are the top ten things to expect:

1. Beer is mead

2. X button
you will likely find yourself waiting for the x button to appear over objects like a loaf of bread. just grab it. (Nike bread)

3. Bad Host
At dinner your knife has a 15% chance to decapitate the guests

4. Head Jewerly
In an attempt to improve health you wear a ruby amulet to school. Boys at school see amulet and start mocking/beating up and yelling homophobic slurs.

5. You will slowly but surely start to eat more cabbage

6. You will slowly but surely become a hoarder

7. Musical Enhancement
Fus Ro Dah will play in your head at important moments such as finishing an exam, passing another car, playing ultimate frisbee, or even while munching out on a huge bag of chips.

8. Fat People are Horkers
But we shall not eat their large rectangular meat

9. Save Me
After completing tasks like washing dishes or folding laundry, you will prepare to save, only to remember that in this world, there is no save button, and if you die or get caught stealing, you can't be reborn, this is the end, no second chances, we are both the end and the beginning together like hot and cold; tears the only companion on this long winding road to eternal nothingness.

10. Everything is going to svck, because Skyrim is much better


please, feel free to add more! (and together we will conquer real life-- some how, some way!)

11. if you screw up in life, you cannot create a new character

People will be amazed that you stop talking to them in order to chase a butterfly.

you cant spend hours on character creation with your spouse to determine your child.(although it could be done in the future which would be sad and pathetic)

Play Red Dead Redemption if you haven't. It's a good alternative.

All dogs are Irish wolfhounds there is no variation.

Shouting at people does not have the expected results.

You don't level up by improving your skills.

When you hear that noise in the sky, don't start shouting. It's only an airplane.


Don't expect a load screen when you open a city gate. Well, you shouldn't expect many city gates neither.

Viking Blod mead. Try it. Costs $36 for a 750ml bottle in MI though.

i got a bottle of westcounty mead for ￡7 from the shop i work in

Don't expect shops to buy back whatever they have sold you.

Issuing commands to your wife will not work out as well as you had hoped.

You cannot lower a console window to give yourself money or weapons.

typing "sixchange" will not provide the expected results.

When a smart A$s kid insults you to your face, you CAN hit them

If you take an arrow to the knee, you will not become a gaurd

Nice, but I'd have to buy a plane ticket if the pricing is in Pound Sterling Let me see if my local mead shop has it though for a comparable amount.

i second that!

Dogs don't bark all of the time.

When you put bugs into jars they do not become immortal.

No steed stone for carrying all those groceries; you will break your darn back.

Chickens are...just chickens. No need to fear them. Watch them close though just in case.

When it's dark making cool hand gestures won't summon a light. Nor will it zap an annoying person.

Walking around and constantly looking at the sky doesn't make you an adventurer looking for dragons, rather you are seen as a crazy person who believes " the end has cometh...comet!"

No epic battle music when you finally unclog that drain.

You can say you like Altmer or Dunmer without being excluded/moved to a special quarter in a city or executed for treason. There are upsides you know.

It doesn't have to be! Here, http://www.sas.upenn.edu/~scheydec/mead.html.

Alt + F4 will not end the world.
Rage quitting is permanent
If you ride a horse, it will not die If you drop .10891232874 feet.

What about things that are the same???!?!:

• If you roll around with a sword, sheild, and armor,... you are still a BADA$$
  
• If you give a girl a jem necklace, she will put out (I dont know about the whole marrying part though)

You can brible a guard only once with a lower chance
You won't have any lockpicks

You can't strip down a woman in public without being detected.

You can't just reload when you pick the wrong dialogue option.

The Jolly Green Giant is not real, so no, you cannot have his toe.

People you walk past will not explain their life story.

You cannot crouch down, freeze in plain sight and expect people not to see you.

Hitting on the girl/guy in a bar wearing your Aunt's necklace will not allow you to skip all the dates and go straight to marriage.

Any type of law enforcement will not say "I use to be an adventure like you until I took an arrow to the knee."

abso flucking lutely NOT!

an rpg must.

Yeah, Dead really is Dead.

nope.

options.