My male characters can't wear dresses either. So yeah - I can marry another bloke, but I'm screwed if I want to look pretty for him...
ROFL...
I finally got Calder the Housecarl, and never went back to Hjerim because he looked like he was giving me the eye...
I started a new game, and by the time I got to Riverwood, I was certain that Hadvar had a crush on my big burly nord character...who I might add, is so ugly that I think Hadvar might be his only potential love interest. I spent ages working on this dude to get that rugged nord look, but when I took a decent squiz at him in-game, he's a big hulking beer bellied thug with a pimply ruddy face and a big boozy red nose...which probably fits in with the nord culture actually. Anyway, he's about to get the delete tonight, he's just too fur king ugly.