Well, i'm currently holding this game in my hot little hands. Purchased hot off the presses from my local EB.I'm about to insert lovingly into my Xbox.Fellow old-time forum goers, please help me here.Hold me.I'm scared.

yep they have and they have ruined my sleep in the process.bloody good job headfirst, not been this scared by a game in ages, well ever actually..

*Fantasies about time-travelling*

THAT'S IT!Alfred, we'll get some space mead and a coupla byakhees and some girls and some beer... and a cherry red 1950's vintage convertable! We'll make a roadtrip of it!Yes! Get ready, UNDISCLOSED FUTURE TIME PERIOD, you won't know what's hit you! --RoB

We were somewhere around Massachusetts on the edge of the swamp when the space mead began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit eldritch; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Innsmouth. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these [censored] animals?"

Holy ****. What the hell is this place man? *takes off black sunglasses...looks at tainted commercial sign* Dude!! Look at that, dark corners of the earth 10!!! Wait...does that...sh*t, it says made by microsoft!Reverend: Uh...yea, but why is the sky purple and why the hell are we in...uh.. Texas??Alfred: Dude!! Number 10....and Microsoft!!*Girls at the backseat start screaming*A: Girls, relax a minute, we are trying to concentrate here. *takes a drink from a bootle**A tentacle suddenly comes out of nowhere, grabs one of the girls....silence ensues...*R: Thats better...now, if we only could..hmm..*Other girl screams louder the ever*EDIT: I wrote mine without seing yours...uh..you continue!

[Interesting how they seem to compliment each other! Segues right from HST into Al & Rev!]The purple sky bleeds into a reddish haze, lifting from downtown Texas, Massachusetts (no, no need for applause. We're professionals). Al: I suppose we could have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque, Massachusetts.Rev: But that rabbit looked so trustworthy.Al: What?Rev: I said, Rev (over screaming): THE RABBIT LOOKED VERY TRUSTWO--A byakhee comes screaming over the sign, and lands on the bonnet, cracking the windshield. It draws it's face close to one of the terrified, silenced girls.Al: Wait, go get the map.Rev: It's in the trunk.Byakhee: Bonan matenon. Kiam la trajno alvenos?The byakhee grabs girl number two and flaps off, clutching the screaming b-list actress in... in it's claws, I suppose. They have claws. Girl number three cringes and hides under a regulation issue tartan blanket.Byakhee (in distance): Neniam pisu en la venton!Rev fumbles around in the trunk. Looks up at the sign occasionally, frowning. Al turns to reassure the remaining girl.Al: No, look, it's alright, see? You're safe now. You're the last girl and in all the horror movies it's the last girl that survives.Silence.Al: We'll get eviscerated by demons and such and you'll save the day. You'll probably be back in time for tea, or whatever we have in America.The girl looks up. Her face is white and there is actually blood streaming from her eyes... She's shaking all over, biting through her lip and from the smell it seems as though she's pissed herself.Clearly, she's been driven hopelessly insane.Rev gets back into the driver seat.Al: Oh, wait, this is a comedy. Ah well. Bad luck. We'll drop you off at the insane asylum.Rev: We can probably find some appropriate spunky female leads in Innsmouth.Al: You've found it then?Rev: Yeah, but listen - if we've gone so far that they have a Dark Corners 10, then...Al: What?Rev: Then this must be a dimension of PURE SPOILER.Al: ...right. Where's the green stuff?Rev: What green stuff?Al: You know, the stuff that glows and has worms.Rev: Oh! We have a couple of bottles beside Crazy Girl.Al: Great.Al grabs a bottle of green, glowing liquid. Inside, blue worms whip savagely from one end to the other. Al turns on the radio, turns the volume up to maximum - Summertime by Jimmy Buffett. He opens the bottle and empties the contents on his head. Blue worms start eating his hair.Al: Muuuch better.Al falls limp, unconsious and bangs his head against the dashboard. He starts bleeding from the forehead in a leisurely, stylish sort of way.Rev, still looking at the billboard fails to notice an approaching figure.Rev: I... um... hmm. Yeah. Hmm.Figure (now beside car): Hello.It is clearly Nyarlethotep in his Bloody Tongue avatar. He is wearing slippers made of live kittens who yowl and scream as he walks them across the hard tarmac.Rev: I'm sorry, you look familiar. Do I know you?The long, sharp tentacle on his shoulders writhes and swirls, cutting the air with deadly slices... his claws click against one another in an unceasing chaotic rattle.Nyarlethotep: I'm John. We were in the same class together in college?Rev: ...oh, John! Wow! Fancy seeing you here!Nyarlethotep: It's been some time.Rev: Damn right it has. Al! Al, wake up, look, it's my old friend John!Al does not wake. Perhaps it is his unconsious mind which will not let him, protecting him from the shimmering obsenity that vibrates by his car, this creature which is CLEARLY NYARLETHOTEP.Nyar: So whatcha doin'?Rev: Oh, we're taking a trip to Innsmouth. Trying to get two copies of Dark Corners... er... for the PC.Nyar: That'll take some doing. It only came out fifteen years ago.Speed grinds his teeth, but retains a civil smile. Unlike the eldritch horror that drools before him.Nyar: Listen, I have to go. But do me a favour - when you're in town, don't do the tourist thing. Everybody goes to the hotel, sees the docks. Try the bars. Check out the nightclubs. Try the fish.Rev: We'll do that. See you then!Nyar: Bye.Nyarlethotep evaporates. Al stirs. He is now completely bald (though he may regrow his hair instantly for the next scene).Rev: Refreshed?Al: Very, though I seem to have forgotten my name and where I live.Rev: I just bumped into an old friend of mine. He reccomended we check out the night life in Innsmouth.Al: Sunripened tomatoes, eh?Rev: No, nightlife.Al: Nightlife, eh? Well, let's do this thing.The car drives off towards the swamp town of Innsmouth, leaving behind traces of a faint sobbing and "well, I love to live so pleasently, live this life of luxury, lazing on a sunny afternooonn... in the summer time... in the summer time..."[Dude. It's too long! It's like there was this untapped wealth of Lovecraft / Invader Zim humour. Sorry about this. Are we getting off-topic?]

Two words: Web comic.

I have a scary time travelling (sorta) story too:"When i woke up from my nightmare of spoilers in twisted corporeal form, they told me i had been sitting here, in Arkham Asylum, for twenty years now, staring at the wall in front of me with blank lifeless eyes, drooling. The last thing i remember before the long nightmare was i had read a topic about things not ment for PC playing men written by the mad arab Lil Kis on the Call of Cthulhu: DCoTE forum. I have mercifully forgotten now what that topic was about.A week later they let me out, saying i was reasonably sane compared to the general population of Arkham. I remembered one thing from the time just before i lost my mind: i had been waiting for the sacrilegious PC version of Call of Cthulhu. The sudden realization that the game would probably be pretty hard to find in 2025 would have made me faint, had i not still been in strong medication.I immediately went to a public computer on the university of Miscatonic and sent an email to the publisher Bethesda Softworks asking where the Hell am i going to find a copy of Coc: DCoTe these days. A few hours later i got an answer from Bethesda's PR manager Pete Hines:Dear The Unnamable, We can't tell anything certain at this point, but we hope to have the PC version ready to go shortly..."The story, all names, characters and locations are fictious except Pete Hines, Lil Kis, The Unnamable, Arkham and The Great Cthulhu. All names are used without approval.The producers of this story would like to thank Headfirst Productions and Bethesda Softworks for not making a great game. You were a great inspiration.EDIT: Cthulhu Mythos Creature handling was monitored by SETA. The Unnamable was seriously harmed during the making of this post....Only kidding, i'm sure it's coming out soon and it's gonna ROCK.

Good point.

That's better.I gave all the Mythos creatures cookies, too.

http://callofcthulhu.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1866

Is that a Mythos creature?

No, he's an impostor. So he didn't get a cookie.

[Give way for the mighty owners of this thread, we hijacked it first and theres nothing to do about THAT! Expect, maybe, buckle up.]As they now approached the evil town, clouds could be seen covering the sun, not giving way for its light to reach the dark, shallow home of evil. Looking closer at our heroes, we could see Alf was leaning againt his side of the door, with his head slightly out the window. His mouth was drolling and he had a fixated, strange look on his face, which was covered by insects due to the high speed of the moving car, while the wind gave life to his new grown black hair. His left hand was under his pants somewhere while he muttered something along the lines of "silent?hi?noooo?darrrrrk corners?darrrrk" before letting go of a zombie like moan, "oooooh??"The crazy girl was now laying on the floor on the other side of the car, her right arm now injected with a strange needle of sorts while her face was facing the sky, with open mouth and dried blood below her shut eyes. An used condem was resting in the middle of her perfect [censored]. Rev, meanwhile, was driving the car with his left hand controlling the wheel while his right hand was constantly changing radio stations, the only action which was breaking the silence.Rev: Oh, curse this damm thing! People just don't have taste these days!The sudden shout from Reverend woke up Alfred from his delusional state.Alf: I?! I?! Cthulhu fhtagn!!!Rev looked at him puzzled with a raised eyebrow and just then, the car hit something.

[Fuuuuck. Five pages! Looks at Headfirst and originators of thread, smiles and shrugs apologetically and continues... I'm going to apologise in advance for taking some liberties here. Sorry. If they bother the persons involved, I can delete the post or change the story. Also: Girls. You seem to be getting pretty short shrift here at the moment. We'll see what we can do in the future?]Alf: I?! I?! fhtagn Cthulhu! Fhtagn-- No, no wait. Dammit. I had it a minute ago...The car stood still, rising above the fog that rolled across the road surface. The lights of Innsmouth were visible through the trees growing around the village, drawing their poisoned life from yadda delta yadda cursed. The sky was yadda. The smell was bleh.Move over HP! Ha!Two shapes rose, shuddered and fell in front of the car. Alf and Reverend could hear... describable moans.They went something like, "oooorghh... ah. [censored]. Ow. Are... are you okay, Seta?""...brownies?"The Reverend was consulting the Dummies Guide to Unlikely Road Accidents, by the Mad Arab Abdul Azif.Rev: Page... page 214. Okay... high-speed collision with unknown creature(s) of unknown origin during eldritch circumstances. Yeah. Alf, take your hand out from under your pants and put them back on. Now. Alf: ...aw.Rev looks back at the book.Rev: Wow, these insurance clauses just get weirder.Alf looks over the Reverend's shoulder.Alf: Pig vomit? Where do we get that?Rev: Too close. No. Too close. Move back a bit. Pants on. Still too close. Okay. Well, we can exchange bug juice for the pig vomit.Alf: Oh, I have some here.Alf scraqes his face clean of insects.The Unnameable: Hey! You guys hit us with your car!Alf: We had to - if we'd hit the trees instead we could've dented the Chevy.The Unnameable: ...Seta: My name's Seta and this is The Unnameable.Alf: Nice to meet you--Rev: What did you say his name was again?Alf: Don't be a jerk until we get their souls. I mean, insurance details.The Unnameable: We should just slit their throats and throw them in the swamp, Seta. No one would know.Seta: That would be wrong, though.The Unnameable: We would have their Chevy.Seta: We WOULD have their Chevy, you're right. Ohh, I'm leaning towards killing them now...Rev: Ahem. We're right here?...The Unnameable: Ah.Seta: This is awkward.A ruckus ensues. The byakhee returns with random horror movie girl #02, now a born-again Christian. Speed complains about the representation of women in this sketch. Promises to do something about it if no girl from the forums graces the players and the kidnapped forumites with their presence.Everyone bonds over iced frog tea and FINALLY make their way into Innsmouth. FINALLY.Clearly, I enjoy typing. Hhh.Seta: ...but it is the Darjeeling iced frog tea that I, on a personal level, most prize.Rev: Hear, hear.Seta: Something about the sweetness. About the crisp aftertaste.The Unnameable: There is much to be said about Earl Grey Frog Tea.An astonished silence.The Unnameable: Tea. Earl Grey. Frog. Hot.The car screeches to a halt in the main town square and Alf steps out, slamming the drivers door. He stalks away, ranting...Alf: No more about tea, okay? Okay?! JESUS CHRIST. We're here. Man, I need to get me some sanity.He steps into a shop shaped like a deformed skull with red neon sign outside proclaiming, 'DARBAS - Your Own Intestines on a Stick - 5c!'Alf steps up to the counter, catching the attention of a small Innsmouth native sitting behind and somewhat below the sales desk.Suddenly hundreds of lights start flashing in the store and a siren begins to wail...Darba: Oh, oh my! Sir, you are our tenth customer today!Alf: Wait. Does this have anything to do with tea?Darba: Oh, no sir! This is so rare! Normally, it's always the hotel that gets the special tenth guest! Lucky, LUCKY Darba!He hugs himself.Through the power of third person narrative, the other members of the principle cast are suddenly inside the shop, making themselves at home (reading Darba's magazines, using his shower and lobbing flem into his spittoon).The Unnameable (towelling hair): That's a great shower.Darba: We get good water pressure here. It's kind've a freebie.Seta: So, what's this about a tenth customer?Every day, at a set time, a random newcomer is sacrificed to Lord C'thulhu.Alf: Wow, that's like what you have in Europe.Rev: But - it's barbaric! Surely this doesn't happen anymore? Surely there are laws which... must... protect... Okay, I give. What do you mean, 'like we have in Europe'?Alf: One hour of every day, given over to unbridled savagery.Rev: What-? George Orwell's 'Hour of Hate'?Alf: No - Greenwich Mean Time....There is an awkward pause. Reverend Speed doubles up with giggles.Alf: Man, that was pretty weak. Incredibly weak, in fact.Rev: Those poor Greenwichians! Ahahaha... hee hee hee...!Alf: Alright, laugh it up, but next time you put that kinda stupid joke in my mouth we're executing some serious physical comedy on your spinal cord.The Unnameable: I'd like to disassociate myself from these proceedings.Seta: I just met these people on a message board. It would be erroneous to think I want any kind of dealings with them beyond the absolute necessary.Rev: Meeeeann... TIME! Yuk! OW! Hey!The Unnameable: Stoppit.Seta: ...hey. Where's Alf gone?Rev: ...good point! And more importantly, where can we get two copies of Dark Corners in this town?Darba: Dark Corners - the first one? Oh, they have two copies in the nightclub down the street.Rev: Nightclub! C'mon, we'll go get the girls and party - AND we can get copies for Dark Corners for the PC as well!The Unnameable: But. Your friend?Rev: What? ...Nightclub! We go!Outside, in the darkening streets... Seta looks towards the nightclub with a forbidding sense of foreboding......THE LAIR OF THE DEEP ONES.Seta (to himself): But what would beat poets be doing in a night club in a coastal village? Hmm...WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ALF? WHY HAS REVEREND SPEED DEVELOPED AN UNCONTROLLABLE ATTRACTION TO NIGHT CLUBS WHERE HE GENERALLY DOESN'T CARE EITHER WAY ABOUT THEM IN REAL LIFE? WILL SETA AND THE UNNAMABLE SUE FOR DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER OR WILL THEY TAKE IT ALL IN GOOD FUN AND JUST BEAT REV WITH HIS OWN LEGS?Tune in next time... same... er... and same... um... right.[No, no, Seta: Radio Play. Not Web Comic, RADIO PLAY. Think upon it! Right time period, cheesy sound effects, don't have to show the indescribable, everybody records their bits separately and done! Radio play! Mad, of course, but workable...

Eldritch Moe, the wannabe critic:Well, i always thought Lovecraft was the only Mythos writer whose works should be considered canon. Clearly i was wrong, this is definitely canon, oh and i'm pretty sure DCotE is canon. Oh, and Dagon the movie also, of course.Good night.

Glad you guys didn't have too much of an objection to being included. If you wait one minute, Seta, I'll take the steel toes off...Dunno if you could call it canon. It just grew here... like some strange fungi that looks like Richard Nixon. It's self-indulgent and taking up too much space, so I think we'll wrap it up soon.(WONDERS: Is it possible to impeach a fungi?)It'll die off right quick with a quick dose of Dark Corners of the Earth for PC.Seriously, need gender balance here. And no horror victim/hero clich?s either...Eldritch Moe, eh? Eldritch Moe... I'm delighted that none of you have attempted to string me up for the Greenwich Mean gag. That was a filthy, filthy pun which you have to be seriously wrong-headed to enjoy. Congratulations!All the best, --RoBPS: No, seriously, this has to end. Soon. I mean, I have ideas (the two Dark Corners copies are surrounded by fans of the series - how can our heroes get the games without hearing ten years of spoilers?) but it has to die...PPS: And, frankly, should've had Seta or The Unnamable kidnapped alongside Alf so he'd have someone to talk to. Erm. Sorry.Suddenly Seta or The Unnamable were kidnapped!Problem solved.

You're right, Speed, it has to end here! Through the lives of the fans of the Olsen Twins i swear, i will not be the one to bump this thread.

...D'oh!

*whacks Moe*

Well, i cant kill it!! Rev, you do it! lol man, every part you do, you double the whole thing, you gotta controll your self, five pages on the last one, that was way too much. But, if you and the fans of this "wonderful" story want it to die, then it shall, but i will not be a complice of such a horrible action!*Fades away into the foggy night while whispering...."My precioooooozzz.....preciozzz......"

But it's such a nice story! Even though I got hit by the car! ;_;

Any time, buddy. Now, I heard something about the beer here in Innsmouth being something truly unique.Want to help me investigate?

Any time, buddy. You start.