A little help in convincing : Othor Games

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:21 pm

So, i'm friends with this one lady and me and a bunch o' my old friends are going on a ski trip soon, but the cost is $280 and my friend cannot afford it.

I offered to pay for her, and she declined but I still think she should go because she literally has nothing planned then, and it'd be a great experience for all of us, her especially. So basically I need ideas on how I can get to her "TAKE MY MONEY AND GO!" on the ski trip, with me paying for her... So yeah. Give me ideas, please? Anyone? :cryvaultboy:

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:29 am

You answered your own question.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:54 pm

Perhaps she just doesn't want to spend a trip with you and your friends?

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:03 pm

Maybe she just feels bad about you having to pay for it. You could suggest (in a tactful way) that if she wishes she could eventually pay you back in small instalments.

I know if someone offered to pay for me to do something like that, I'd feel a little like I belonged to them, and I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it. Perhaps she's just embarrassed. Try to put her mind at ease about the situation.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:58 pm

Tie her up and kidnap her.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:21 am

Perhaps she just doesn't want to spend a trip with you and your friends?

She does, especially since another one of my friend keeps saying how much she talks about it and how she is not being able to go. :confused:

Maybe she just feels bad about you having to pay for it. You could suggest (in a tactful way) that if she wishes she could eventually pay you back in small instalments.

I know if someone offered to pay for me to do something like that, I'd feel a little like I belonged to them, and I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it. Perhaps she's just embarrassed. Try to put her mind at ease about the situation.

Mmmm, that's the type of answers I'm looking for, but I already knew that she might think she would owe me, but I don't want to say that she could pay me back later because it'd remind her of her finacial situation. Thanks for an answer though.

You answered your own question.

Uh, how?

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:04 pm

Uh, how?

When you said:

I still think she should go because she literally has nothing planned then, and it'd be a great experience for all of us, her especially. So basically I need ideas on how I can get to her "TAKE MY MONEY AND GO!" on the ski trip, with me paying for her...

Just tell her that.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:32 am

Perhaps she just doesn't want to spend a trip with you and your friends?

I think that's not impossible, yes.

Just tell her that.

Or better, don't. Offering to pay for someone's trip, even though you mean well, will be considered charity, and therefore condescending and belittling by the recipient. Not to mention the fact that a girl will (not without reason) become very uncomfortable when on a trip you've paid for, as she will be worried that you'll expect a return service of some sort (not necessarily sixual!), and even if you don't, she'll feel indebted, and that's never a good feeling.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:25 pm

Or better, don't. Offering to pay for someone's trip, even though you mean well, will be considered charity, and therefore condescending and belittling by the recipient. Not to mention the fact that a girl will (not without reason) become very uncomfortable when on a trip you've paid for, as she will be worried that you'll expect a return service of some sort (not necessarily sixual!), and even if you don't, she'll feel indebted, and that's never a good feeling.

Then tell her she owes you nothing in return.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:34 pm

Then tell her she owes you nothing in return.

Not saying I'm the absolutely knowledgeable sage when it comes to women, but if you tell a woman she doesn't owe you anything, she'll believe you rationally, but will be very likely not to believe it emotionally. Which means she'll know she doesn't owe you anything, but she doesn't feel like she doesn't. This goes for men too, but in my experience, this rational/emotional duality is stronger in women.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:46 pm

Maybe she just feels bad about you having to pay for it. You could suggest (in a tactful way) that if she wishes she could eventually pay you back in small instalments.

I know if someone offered to pay for me to do something like that, I'd feel a little like I belonged to them, and I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it. Perhaps she's just embarrassed. Try to put her mind at ease about the situation.

Most likely the reason. I feel bad if I'm indebted to a family member, let alone an unrelated friend.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:31 pm

Maybe she just feels bad about you having to pay for it. You could suggest (in a tactful way) that if she wishes she could eventually pay you back in small instalments.

I know if someone offered to pay for me to do something like that, I'd feel a little like I belonged to them, and I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with it. Perhaps she's just embarrassed. Try to put her mind at ease about the situation.

Actually, you've hit the nail on the head. No one likes to feel "bought".

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:10 pm

Is she a redhead, by any chance?

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:10 pm

Jaho?

Why don't you surprise her?
:)

» Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:15 am

Is she a redhead, by any chance?

No, why?

EDIT: Actually, I guess she is, hm.

@Above: ... Because I'm asking her?

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:09 pm

No, why?

Just asking. For no particular reason. At all.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:43 pm

Fake an accident outside her home, hope she sees you, thank her for saving you by paying for her trip.

» Fri Dec 09, 2011 12:41 am

You're going to have a hard time with it, not making her feel bad, poor, anything like that.

You need a plan. Get your friends together. Come up with a story, so and so's cousin was going but dropped out, we've got a ticket now and nobody to give it to. Hard part is making her believe that, and it'd probably be best if another friend offered the ticket to her and not you, otherwise she'll be right back to the conclusion you bought it.

Problem is white lies don't always work out like you planned.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:13 pm

Fake an accident outside her home, hope she sees you, thank her for saving you by paying for her trip.

But then I'd need someone to ram a car into me. Also someone to potentially ruin my other leg. Theeen I'd also need cops, an ambulance, and a gang of armed drug lords to threaten me.

You're going to have a hard time with it, not making her feel bad, poor, anything like that.

You need a plan. Get your friends together. Come up with a story, so and so's cousin was going but dropped out, we've got a ticket now and nobody to give it to. Hard part is making her believe that, and it'd probably be best if another friend offered the ticket to her and not you, otherwise she'll be right back to the conclusion you bought it.

Problem is white lies don't always work out like you planned.

But the thing is she already knows we want her to go, and already know that no one else was planned to be coming with us but her, annnd we don't have tickets. We literally hand money to a person, and we get tossed outside inside the cold, notsohard snow, and ski.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:39 pm

You need a plan. Get your friends together. Come up with a story, so and so's cousin was going but dropped out, we've got a ticket now and nobody to give it to. Hard part is making her believe that, and it'd probably be best if another friend offered the ticket to her and not you, otherwise she'll be right back to the conclusion you bought it.

Yep. Lie to your friend. Because she'll never find out, ever.

Solid plan.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:58 pm

Yep. Lie to your friend. Because she'll never find out, ever.

Solid plan.

Exactly.

But seriously, lying is not a place i'd go and do this, so I need nonlying ways to do this... Convince =/= Lie :confused:

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:43 pm

Yep. Lie to your friend. Because she'll never find out, ever.

Solid plan.

Hey, I put a disclaimer.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:41 pm

But then I'd need someone to ram a car into me. Also someone to potentially ruin my other leg. Theeen I'd also need cops, an ambulance, and a gang of armed drug lords to threaten me.

Go on vacation to mexico, piss of zetas and hope she is a female rambo.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:59 am

Exactly.

But seriously, lying is not a place i'd go and do this, so I need nonlying ways to do this... Convince =/= Lie :confused:

How 'bout...

*drum roll*

Respect her decision not to take your condescending charity, not to be pushed into going on a trip, and respect her independence and her decision not to come.

I know, it's totally insane, but you might want to consider it.

» Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:42 pm

How 'bout...

*drum roll*

Respect her decision not to take your condescending charity, not to be pushed into going on a trip, and respect her independence and her decision not to come.

I know, it's totally insane, but you might want to consider it.

I will if I can't actually find a way to convince without pushing her into it.