As far as not wanting to be the hero goes...
...
This is a game. The point of playing a game is to win. To progress, to become better, to achieve, and to overcome. That's the point of EVERY game, the essence of why we play them. You can play in whatever manner you choose- be a murderous villain and complete the main quest to have the power, or be a hero and save the world, or a million things in between.
No one really wants to play a support character in a single player game. Even in multiplayer, people end up fighting over control of the group, and in MMO's like WoW, there are more mages and rogues running around than there are healers, because everyone wants to play the guy who WINS, the guy who does the most damage, the guy who is supported by the group...and is the hero.
I don't think you grasp what TES is really all about if you think the point is to "win".
The only TES game I ever "won" was Arena.
I played Oblivion or 5 years and closed 1 gate the entire time.
Go to the Oblivion forums right now. Many are still playing and have never completed, let alone statred, he main quest.
I have 3 characters in Skyrim that have not yet spoken to the jarl of Whiterun to activate he main quest. I doubt they ever will.
TES is not about maxing out your character and it's not about winning. It's about becoming a part of the world that Bethesda created.
The main quest in these games is just something to give you a goal. One of several.