A Nord walks into an Inn......... : V - Skyrim

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:15 pm

Three Nords walk in to an inn..... one says "ouch!"
The other two were already drunk.

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:08 pm

Haha, your joke has more of the TES lore than Skyrim itself

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:18 pm

Why do the nords of Windhelm use use stamps with Ulfric Stormcloak in them?

They can lick their king's bottom every day.

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:54 pm

I fail to see the humour, oh wait, I'm not twelve years old anymore.

Since when were people unable to see humour after the age of twelve?

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:52 am

A Nord walks into an inn with a duck on his head. The bartender looks up and says "where'd you get that ape?" The Nord says "that's not an ape, it's a duck." The bartender replies "I was TALKING to the duck!"

XD

Props! That was a good one!

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:56 pm

Three Nords walk in to an inn..... one says "ouch!"
The other two were already drunk.

It's supposed to be, Three Nords walk into a BAR, the fourth one ducks. <- that's ironic... DUCK!

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:02 am

Two dull witted orc adventurers walk around the corner of an inn and sees a dog cleaning himself.

The first orc says "Don't you wish you could do that?"

The second orc says "I dunno! Think I should pet him first?"

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:35 pm

I fail to see the humour, oh wait, I'm not twelve years old anymore.

I was twelve once and didn't find these jokes very amusing at the time. I also wasn't an arrogant prck. I win.

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:11 pm

a follower of dibella walks into a bar, everyone yells, "I'M NEXT"

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:06 pm

^{A Khajiit walks into a chinese restaurant.}
^{The waiter says: "I don't know who told you this, but we don't serve cats here"}

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:40 pm

A Nord walks into an Inn with his donkey.
The barkeep says "Sorry, we don't allow Asses in here"
So the donkey asks the Nord to wait outside.

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:31 pm

Two dull witted orc adventurers walk around the corner of an inn and sees a dog cleaning himself.

The first orc says "Don't you wish you could do that?"

The second orc says "I dunno! Think I should pet him first?"

I have one similar:
Two nords are on the way to Solitude and accidently stumble on a Khajiit cleaning his unmentionables. One turns to the other and says
Nord 1 "I wish I could do that"
Nord 2 "Ask him and he might let you".

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:46 pm

A nord and a falmor walk into an inn. The innkeeper goes beserk. "No! No! We don't serve your ugly, filthy, stinking, flea-bitten kind in here. Now get out!" At which the falmor turns to the nord and says, "You gonna let him talk to you like that?"

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:40 am

Two Dumner share a horse to go to market.
When they arrive they notice all the horses in the stable look exactly like theirs.

"How are we going know which one is ours when we are done?"asks the first

"Easy we just lift up all the horses tails" replys the second

"How in Azura's name will that help?"

"Didn't you hear the stable master when we came in?"

"No"

"He said check out the two Aholes on that horse"

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:28 pm

Three Thalmor walk into a Tavern, Then I hew them in half!
Classic!

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:07 am

An Argonian bandit jumps out infront of a Nord walking along the road and says "Give me your valuables, or I will kill you with my knife"

The Nord raises his mighty sword and shouts back "I WILL SEND YOU TO SOVNGARDE!"

The Argonian, with a hint of sarcasm, replies "Really? Thanks for the invite, I thought only the Nords could get in!"

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:28 pm

I fail to see the humour, oh wait, I'm not twelve years old anymore.

Your right, now your a d!ck!

A Thalmor and a Nord are staying at an inn, the Thalmor looks at the nord and says, "Oh look an ape learned to walk on 2 legs." The nord replies, " I also learned that your wife enjoys riding the pony from the back entrance." The Thalmor's wife walks out of the nords room.

» Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:06 pm

Two Dumner share a horse to go to market.
When they arrive they notice all the horses in the stable look exactly like theirs.

"How are we going know which one is ours when we are done?"asks the first

"Easy we just lift up all the horses tails" replys the second

"How in Azura's name will that help?"

"Didn't you hear the stable master when we came in?"

"No"

"He said check out the two Aholes on that horse"

A trophy for you sir, for I lost my drink at this!