Well the whole idea is that the priest is just a ghost. Sometimes I wonder if I could have gotten that through a little better...
83 posts
• Page 3 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
Poetry Writing Thread
» Fri May 04, 2012 6:29 am
When I write I constantly second guess things that I do. I've re-written poems dozens of times trying to make them just right.
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MISS KEEP UR - Posts: 3384
- Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:26 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 3:17 am
she contemplates best, who contemplates alone.
Sparkling faucets, conglomerate stone,
A six foof scaly, amelanated,
orange-red form slowly undulated,
towards the warmth she radiated.
Six feet of scaly serpentine,
a gasp, and then, a piercing scream!
A son awakened, from his dream.
"GET THIS SNAKE BACK IN HIS CAGE!"
she shouted with indignant rage.
( Honestly, I never get to use the bathoom by myself)
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Meghan Terry - Posts: 3414
- Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2007 11:53 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 4:54 am
After reading Poe, Faulkner and Orwell, I'm really tempted to write a novel/short stories. However, it's a little daunting because it's near impossible to come close to any of their works. But I would really like to start writing something when I have some downtime.
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M!KkI - Posts: 3401
- Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2006 7:50 am
» Thu May 03, 2012 6:17 pm
oh baby doesn't it make you feel so good, this bleeding heart isn't beating much
look all around, but make sure that you see nothing
you don't need me and i don't need you, eat my heart out
try harder to find a meaning in something.
look all around, but make sure that you see nothing
you don't need me and i don't need you, eat my heart out
try harder to find a meaning in something.
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Travis - Posts: 3456
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:57 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 12:51 am
Oh, where has this thread been all my life 
I actually have been writing for a long time. I am bloody awful at poetry, to the point where people try to rip out their eyes as an alternative to reading more, but people seem to like my fiction.
Speaking of fiction, I do have something written. It's a fantasy short story called Wrath to the Least. It can be found at http://www.libboo.com/read/wrath-to-the-least/jeroic and I'd really like it if y'all read it.
@Fortis Ignavus: Self-doubt is the enemy, but so is trying to be "the next x." Because nobody can out-Tolkien Tolkien or out-Faulkner Faulkner. On the plus side, though, nobody can out-Fortis you.
I actually have been writing for a long time. I am bloody awful at poetry, to the point where people try to rip out their eyes as an alternative to reading more, but people seem to like my fiction.
Speaking of fiction, I do have something written. It's a fantasy short story called Wrath to the Least. It can be found at http://www.libboo.com/read/wrath-to-the-least/jeroic and I'd really like it if y'all read it.
@Fortis Ignavus: Self-doubt is the enemy, but so is trying to be "the next x." Because nobody can out-Tolkien Tolkien or out-Faulkner Faulkner. On the plus side, though, nobody can out-Fortis you.
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Laura Hicks - Posts: 3395
- Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:21 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 4:14 am
Deadspace?: Carnage
By; rogue721 (ghost writer)
All rights reserved. Copyright 2012
For all who are lost in this wold, and the next
Intro:
Pain, it's life and death. It drives us to succeed, and allows deaths icy grip to pull you into the ocean. The marines say "pain is weakness leaving the body" and, I guess it is. Or is it just weakness forcing its self out through all of the pores in your body, is it something that bleeds out and dies, or does it just, boil over and burst. One thing that's for sure, it eats like a wolf, it devours. Pain is a generic emotion, it derives from fear, disappointment, hatred, love, and every other thing you can think of. But without pain, there would be no life. Everything would dissipate from flesh and bone. We, as a human race, would die. You see, the two base elements of life are pain, and pleaser.
And without one, the other wouldn't exist, and things would be out of balance. If we had no pain, pleaser would be the norm, therefor bland. And if we had no pleaser, pain would no longer be painful, and we would never have any joy in life.
Chapter 1:
Remember the ishimura
"you hear about the ishimura?" said Markus. "no, what happened? It was a planet-cracker, right" I replied. "yea, they just brought it in" said Markus while sipping on a extra large cup of decaf coffee. "why, you never told me... Why is it here?" I replied. "hu? Oh yea, it was some sort of terrorist attack. I heard they killed the whole crew" Markus said in a lazy, half drunk tone. EEP-EEP-EPP "hey mark, what's that noise? An alarm? Now?" EEP-EEP-EEP "I don't know, or care" he replied. "come on, let's go! We are supposed to evacuate when we hear that" I said in a panicked voice. "AHH!-HELP ME! GET IT OFF, GET IT..." EEP-EEP-EEP. "what the hell was that bro?" said Markus in a somber and glum tone. "it came from down the hall, we NEED to go, like, NOW" I said sternly. "k, let's go man, maybe it those terrorist! Haha" Markus replied in a cocky voice. EEP-EEP-EEP. I stood up and left my breakfast sitting on the table and slowly crept towards the chrome door. When I tried to open it, it seemed to be locked from the outside. "what the HELL!" I yelled. "what?" said Markus. "it's locked, the damn door is LOCKED!" chtk-chk-tk-cht. "you hear that mark? It's in the vent... What the..." I whispered. "AHH! HAAA!" Markus screamed. "OH GOD! OH GOD! NO! MARK" I yelled. I went back into the kitchen and scrambled for a steak knife I got for my birthday. Once I hade the knife I starter stabbing the creature ripping mark from limb to limb. Whatever I did it wouldn't die, I had to dismember it completely to kill it, but it was to late, mark was dead. "THIS IS DIRECTOR BILL CALLON, WE ARE HAVE SOME TECHNICAL ISSUES IN THE CASSINI TOWERS, PLEASE, REMANE INSIDE" the intercom belched. And this is how it all started.
Chapter 2:
End of the beginning of the after life
I had to leave, "I was going to die for sure" I thought. The door was locked and wouldn't open, I needed a new way out. "HELP! ANYONE, HELP!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. After a short time I heard a plasma cutter firing at the lock from the outside. "we got ya kid" said the the man in a gruff tone. BWAP! The door hit the floor and I exited my room, I then approached the man who saved me and thanked him, he replied with a grunt. As I walked away he flew past me in a wave of visceral and blood, he hit the wall with a thud. I then rushed to grab his plasma cutter and dismember the approaching beast. PSID, PSID, PSID. 1, 2, 3. Head, arm, arm, and it dropped, like the demon that it was. Then I looted my newly found, yet dead friend, for amo and credits. The sound of screaming and death soiled the air, the shock was running through my veins, adrenalin surged though my body making me shake. I crawled to an elevator and made my way down to the bottom floor. When I got out of the elevator, the demons had left, so had everyone else. They were dead. The scene was even worse than the sounds, it made me vomit all over the deck.
Chapter 3:
Burning tower of hell reincarnate.
All of the dead. They wept in agony. In my belief, all dead deserve a funeral. These men had none. I had to do my best at a funeral though, so I gathered all of the corpses and carried them into the atrium. I set them side by side, covered their faces with their clothing, and lit them ablaze. The fire grew vast, and danced like snow across a martian winter. It told me their story's, their loves, and their lies. The heat flooded the chilled room. I felt like a match in the void of space, soon to sizzle out from lack of oxygen. "Rest in peace, my family, I won't see you in heaven, I'll be burning in hell. I'm gunna [censored] all the bastards who did this up. I'm escorting them to hell personally" I said while holding back my tears. I then took my knife and carved "remember the Cassini towers, [censored] us all-" into the floor. I then took my blade upon myself, and inscribed "-only the devil can save us" on my briastplate.
Chapter 4;
Into the void. (the cold and empty)
After I saw that all were honorably dismissed from life, I walked out the door, into barren space. I had oxygen supplies that would last for an hour, and I would need it. Those things, the demons, they needed no air, no human life support. And yet they came from us? They were us? They are us. The signs all read that earth government was doing an evacuation in sprawl central, that was where I was headed. I would seek my revenge there. The depths of space echoed all of the distant noises, the pain, yet space was empty and cold, it had no heart. A swarm of the beast rushed toward me, "left arm, right. Left, right, left, right" I whispered to myself, and so I upended fire upon my disfigured brother. They floated in the vast emptiness, lifeless. I marched on, moving like a drone, dropping all of the creatures. I had no hesitation. Shooting at the once joyous beings. They were cold and lifeless from the minute I saw them to the second a past by them. Lifeless, loveless, hopeless. Ahead of me was an office building, I crossed the street, and entered, easy as that.
Chapter 5:
Relieving a wound with two wounds.
As I approached the airtight door, I saw the massacre of the Cassini towers flash before me. I saw the horror, the pain, and the dead. It haunted me, it was eating me up inside. "DWOOSH". "hu? Oh, it's open". I stepped into the darkness of the abandoned office, and the door shut behind me. I turned the light on the end of my plasma-cutter on, and began my descent onto the bowels of the building. "whee, whee". I heard a living person down the approaching corridor. "whee, WHeee". "who's there?" I heard in the distance. "WHEE!" "what the hell, it's getting louder..." I whispered. Then, I saw the room the noise was emitting. A light was flickering on and off in the area near the door. "hello?" I whispered. "GWAAH!! GAAH!" "[censored]! [censored], [censored], [censored]. die you MOTHER [censored], DIE!" I repeated at the top of my lungs, thinking it would help. "AAH! GLAA!" the child like beast yelled. THUMP, SPLISHK. my foot dropped on its shriveled head, and it slowly died off. It was a daycare, in the office. The daycare was flooded with blood, and, and these, things. These mutated children. In the background I could hear "twinkle, twinkle, little star" playing. It brought found memories back from when I was a child. Memories of a time without death, or war, or evil. Memories of love. For now that's all I have, memories. Sprawl central, that was my goal now. I didn't stop, everything I saw, I shot. As I went though the quiet office, I saw the door that would take me out of the building and into the hub of the Sprawl, Sprawl central.
Chapter 6:
Today it's us, tomorrow, it will be you
When I realized I was there, that I had reached my goal, I froze. I had no plan, no idea. I hunched over and puked on the floor. This wasn't from stress like before, this, this was something else. I approached the door and it released. I was shaking. "hey! You! We're evacing this whole sector, why are you still here?". "[censored] you!! You guys never helped us! You just abandoned us! You let the Cassini towers go to hell!". I shouted at the earth gov evac patrol troop. When he started to reply, I took my knife and stabbed him in the side of his throat. He grovlled to the ground and reach to me, I left him, and went on toward the evac ship. I had to wait in line for hours. They had us all go through processing, ID'd us, then they loaded us in. "where are we headed?" I asked the trooper. "the [censored] outa here" he replied. I went into the ship and snuck out of the line headed toward the engine rooms. I hid out in the main room under a secondary reactor, and waited. When we took off, I finally got some sleep. I dreamed of home, before the outbreak, I saw the hope, the peace, the life. Everything was alive, without the mutated flesh and rotten muscle. The protruding bones stayed in their body's. Then, my chest got tight, and was gasping for air, I was floating through empty space, the stars glimmering into the darkness. DWOO-WHAAAA "hu? Oh, I guess it's time" I said when I realized we had landed.
Chapter 7:
Hells advisory
When we took of once again, I snuck to the airlock. I waited until we were in mid space, and then planted a mine I had picked up of the original earthgov trooper I had killed. When I made my final shot with my plasma cutter, it svcked us all out, into the void. One by one, I felt them choking off and fading into death. But so was I, I was deep in space, slowly fading. It was quiet, and peaceful. I would never see another necromorh again.
By; rogue721 (ghost writer)
All rights reserved. Copyright 2012
For all who are lost in this wold, and the next
Intro:
Pain, it's life and death. It drives us to succeed, and allows deaths icy grip to pull you into the ocean. The marines say "pain is weakness leaving the body" and, I guess it is. Or is it just weakness forcing its self out through all of the pores in your body, is it something that bleeds out and dies, or does it just, boil over and burst. One thing that's for sure, it eats like a wolf, it devours. Pain is a generic emotion, it derives from fear, disappointment, hatred, love, and every other thing you can think of. But without pain, there would be no life. Everything would dissipate from flesh and bone. We, as a human race, would die. You see, the two base elements of life are pain, and pleaser.
And without one, the other wouldn't exist, and things would be out of balance. If we had no pain, pleaser would be the norm, therefor bland. And if we had no pleaser, pain would no longer be painful, and we would never have any joy in life.
Chapter 1:
Remember the ishimura
"you hear about the ishimura?" said Markus. "no, what happened? It was a planet-cracker, right" I replied. "yea, they just brought it in" said Markus while sipping on a extra large cup of decaf coffee. "why, you never told me... Why is it here?" I replied. "hu? Oh yea, it was some sort of terrorist attack. I heard they killed the whole crew" Markus said in a lazy, half drunk tone. EEP-EEP-EPP "hey mark, what's that noise? An alarm? Now?" EEP-EEP-EEP "I don't know, or care" he replied. "come on, let's go! We are supposed to evacuate when we hear that" I said in a panicked voice. "AHH!-HELP ME! GET IT OFF, GET IT..." EEP-EEP-EEP. "what the hell was that bro?" said Markus in a somber and glum tone. "it came from down the hall, we NEED to go, like, NOW" I said sternly. "k, let's go man, maybe it those terrorist! Haha" Markus replied in a cocky voice. EEP-EEP-EEP. I stood up and left my breakfast sitting on the table and slowly crept towards the chrome door. When I tried to open it, it seemed to be locked from the outside. "what the HELL!" I yelled. "what?" said Markus. "it's locked, the damn door is LOCKED!" chtk-chk-tk-cht. "you hear that mark? It's in the vent... What the..." I whispered. "AHH! HAAA!" Markus screamed. "OH GOD! OH GOD! NO! MARK" I yelled. I went back into the kitchen and scrambled for a steak knife I got for my birthday. Once I hade the knife I starter stabbing the creature ripping mark from limb to limb. Whatever I did it wouldn't die, I had to dismember it completely to kill it, but it was to late, mark was dead. "THIS IS DIRECTOR BILL CALLON, WE ARE HAVE SOME TECHNICAL ISSUES IN THE CASSINI TOWERS, PLEASE, REMANE INSIDE" the intercom belched. And this is how it all started.
Chapter 2:
End of the beginning of the after life
I had to leave, "I was going to die for sure" I thought. The door was locked and wouldn't open, I needed a new way out. "HELP! ANYONE, HELP!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. After a short time I heard a plasma cutter firing at the lock from the outside. "we got ya kid" said the the man in a gruff tone. BWAP! The door hit the floor and I exited my room, I then approached the man who saved me and thanked him, he replied with a grunt. As I walked away he flew past me in a wave of visceral and blood, he hit the wall with a thud. I then rushed to grab his plasma cutter and dismember the approaching beast. PSID, PSID, PSID. 1, 2, 3. Head, arm, arm, and it dropped, like the demon that it was. Then I looted my newly found, yet dead friend, for amo and credits. The sound of screaming and death soiled the air, the shock was running through my veins, adrenalin surged though my body making me shake. I crawled to an elevator and made my way down to the bottom floor. When I got out of the elevator, the demons had left, so had everyone else. They were dead. The scene was even worse than the sounds, it made me vomit all over the deck.
Chapter 3:
Burning tower of hell reincarnate.
All of the dead. They wept in agony. In my belief, all dead deserve a funeral. These men had none. I had to do my best at a funeral though, so I gathered all of the corpses and carried them into the atrium. I set them side by side, covered their faces with their clothing, and lit them ablaze. The fire grew vast, and danced like snow across a martian winter. It told me their story's, their loves, and their lies. The heat flooded the chilled room. I felt like a match in the void of space, soon to sizzle out from lack of oxygen. "Rest in peace, my family, I won't see you in heaven, I'll be burning in hell. I'm gunna [censored] all the bastards who did this up. I'm escorting them to hell personally" I said while holding back my tears. I then took my knife and carved "remember the Cassini towers, [censored] us all-" into the floor. I then took my blade upon myself, and inscribed "-only the devil can save us" on my briastplate.
Chapter 4;
Into the void. (the cold and empty)
After I saw that all were honorably dismissed from life, I walked out the door, into barren space. I had oxygen supplies that would last for an hour, and I would need it. Those things, the demons, they needed no air, no human life support. And yet they came from us? They were us? They are us. The signs all read that earth government was doing an evacuation in sprawl central, that was where I was headed. I would seek my revenge there. The depths of space echoed all of the distant noises, the pain, yet space was empty and cold, it had no heart. A swarm of the beast rushed toward me, "left arm, right. Left, right, left, right" I whispered to myself, and so I upended fire upon my disfigured brother. They floated in the vast emptiness, lifeless. I marched on, moving like a drone, dropping all of the creatures. I had no hesitation. Shooting at the once joyous beings. They were cold and lifeless from the minute I saw them to the second a past by them. Lifeless, loveless, hopeless. Ahead of me was an office building, I crossed the street, and entered, easy as that.
Chapter 5:
Relieving a wound with two wounds.
As I approached the airtight door, I saw the massacre of the Cassini towers flash before me. I saw the horror, the pain, and the dead. It haunted me, it was eating me up inside. "DWOOSH". "hu? Oh, it's open". I stepped into the darkness of the abandoned office, and the door shut behind me. I turned the light on the end of my plasma-cutter on, and began my descent onto the bowels of the building. "whee, whee". I heard a living person down the approaching corridor. "whee, WHeee". "who's there?" I heard in the distance. "WHEE!" "what the hell, it's getting louder..." I whispered. Then, I saw the room the noise was emitting. A light was flickering on and off in the area near the door. "hello?" I whispered. "GWAAH!! GAAH!" "[censored]! [censored], [censored], [censored]. die you MOTHER [censored], DIE!" I repeated at the top of my lungs, thinking it would help. "AAH! GLAA!" the child like beast yelled. THUMP, SPLISHK. my foot dropped on its shriveled head, and it slowly died off. It was a daycare, in the office. The daycare was flooded with blood, and, and these, things. These mutated children. In the background I could hear "twinkle, twinkle, little star" playing. It brought found memories back from when I was a child. Memories of a time without death, or war, or evil. Memories of love. For now that's all I have, memories. Sprawl central, that was my goal now. I didn't stop, everything I saw, I shot. As I went though the quiet office, I saw the door that would take me out of the building and into the hub of the Sprawl, Sprawl central.
Chapter 6:
Today it's us, tomorrow, it will be you
When I realized I was there, that I had reached my goal, I froze. I had no plan, no idea. I hunched over and puked on the floor. This wasn't from stress like before, this, this was something else. I approached the door and it released. I was shaking. "hey! You! We're evacing this whole sector, why are you still here?". "[censored] you!! You guys never helped us! You just abandoned us! You let the Cassini towers go to hell!". I shouted at the earth gov evac patrol troop. When he started to reply, I took my knife and stabbed him in the side of his throat. He grovlled to the ground and reach to me, I left him, and went on toward the evac ship. I had to wait in line for hours. They had us all go through processing, ID'd us, then they loaded us in. "where are we headed?" I asked the trooper. "the [censored] outa here" he replied. I went into the ship and snuck out of the line headed toward the engine rooms. I hid out in the main room under a secondary reactor, and waited. When we took off, I finally got some sleep. I dreamed of home, before the outbreak, I saw the hope, the peace, the life. Everything was alive, without the mutated flesh and rotten muscle. The protruding bones stayed in their body's. Then, my chest got tight, and was gasping for air, I was floating through empty space, the stars glimmering into the darkness. DWOO-WHAAAA "hu? Oh, I guess it's time" I said when I realized we had landed.
Chapter 7:
Hells advisory
When we took of once again, I snuck to the airlock. I waited until we were in mid space, and then planted a mine I had picked up of the original earthgov trooper I had killed. When I made my final shot with my plasma cutter, it svcked us all out, into the void. One by one, I felt them choking off and fading into death. But so was I, I was deep in space, slowly fading. It was quiet, and peaceful. I would never see another necromorh again.
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Samantha Pattison - Posts: 3407
- Joined: Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:19 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 12:16 am
Here's a poem I just wrote which means a lot to me...
Spoiler
Head to neck
Neck to torso
Bow to string
Arrow to hand
Torso to leg
Leg to knee
Hand to string
Arrow to flight
Adventurer to Guard.
Neck to torso
Bow to string
Arrow to hand
Torso to leg
Leg to knee
Hand to string
Arrow to flight
Adventurer to Guard.
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Micah Judaeah - Posts: 3443
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:22 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 12:14 am
A Haiku:
Cold fall, rainy day
I wonder the testicle
If I'll ever rest.
Cold fall, rainy day
I wonder the testicle
If I'll ever rest.
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Samantha hulme - Posts: 3373
- Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2006 4:22 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 1:17 am
A Final Fantasy fanfic i've been working on. not finished yet.
Unexpected Expedition.
Ashara. A beautiful sea port. home to Treasure hunters, Sell swords, Thieves, Drunkards, and Assassin's. All looking for sunken treasure and any way to get it. Not the safest place to live but if you're in it for the gold. Or working as a Sell sword guard there's no other place to be. One day an old Sea captain discovered the existence of a treasure more valuable then gold. He hired a young Sell sword who wielded a special Gunblade to help him search for it.
Chapter 1.
Ballista. Alright kid, Today we're gonna find that treasure we've been looking for.
Cobalt. As long as i get paid i'll keep following you.
Ballista. Oh c'mon boy, Don't you care about anything? We're living a life of adventure! We explore the high seas! We venture into caves and ruins! We live a life of excitement!
Cobalt. You know what's exciting? Everything i can buy with the money you owe me.
Ballista. Hehe, smart mouth aye?
Cobalt. Gotta have fun somehow.
Ballista. I knew you we're special when i saw that Gunblade... But now, we've arrived at our destination.
Cobalt. So, this is the place that holds this artifact you've been babbling about?
Ballista. Babbling? Do you have any idea how important this thing is?! Boy this artifact could change the course of history! The course of time itself...
Cobalt. What exactly are we here for old man?
Ballista. An important artifact... you'll find out later... and we have to get it before...
Cobalt. Before what?
Ballista. I've said to much and we're running out of time. Let's go.
Cobalt. [What on earth is the old man talking about? An important artifact? Alter the course of history? Get it before what exactly?]
Ballista. Watch where you're going and stay quiet.
Cobalt. [Stay quiet for what?]
Ballista. Look out!
Cobalt. Finally some action!
{Time Beast attacks}
Cobalt. Don't worry i got this! Piercing blow! {Eagle's scream Gunblade fire's}
Cobalt. What?! The bullet vanished?!
Ballista. That's why i told you to stay quiet kid. This is a Time Beast. Sent from a time stream to guard the Shard.
Cobalt. The Shard? Is that what we're here for? And who sent this thing?!
Ballista. The one who beat us here...
Cobalt. Who's that?!
{Time Beast slams fist into Cobalt}
Cobalt. AGH!!!!!
Ballista. You can't beat him that way kid. You gotta use your blade. If your lucky. You'll hit him.
Cobalt. Lucky?! How?! Who beat us here?! Who's controlling this thing?!
Ballista. The Holder of the Shard. The one who beat us here...
Cobalt. Who is he?!
Ballista. We'll find out.{Ballista attacks with Gold sword}
{Time Beast screams}
Ballista. That's how ya hit it!
Cobalt. I can do that. {Eagle's talon!}
{Time Beast dodges}
Cobalt. Son of a UNG!!!
{Time Beast slams Cobalt into the cave wall}
???. Enough. I thought a mere beast could be slain. But obviously you're not as strong as i was yet. Beast go back to your time. {??? Snaps fingers and Time Beast fades into a Time Stream}
Cobalt. Is that him?
???. Ah yes the Sell sword spikey headed youth.
Ballista. Show your face!
???. You know me already. Old man.
Cobalt. What?!
Ballista. What?!
{??? unveils face}
Ballista. NO!!!!!
Cobalt. How is this possible?!
???. I almost forgot how stupid You we're
Cobalt. Why did you say, You like that? You don't know me! What the hell is happening?! What sorcery is this?!?!
???. Foolish loud mouth, I'm no sorcerer.
Cobalt. Then explain what's going on!
???. I'm you. From another time.
Cobalt. You're... me?
Future Cobalt. Yes i'm you. I'm what happens to you. I'm you when It happens.
Cobalt. It???
Future Cobalt. You'll know when It does happen.
Cobalt. I'm not gonna wait for an answer. And i'm not gonna become you. Whatever It is i won't let it happen!
Future Cobalt. I said the same thing. And look at what's happening right now.
{Ballista sneaks up behind Future Cobalt}
Future Cobalt. Please old man. I was here when the first you did the same thing. {Future Cobalt pulls out Eagle's Scream}
Cobalt. What?! But that's one of a kind! Ballista look out!
Future Cobalt. I said the same thing. Look what happens next. {Eagle's Scream fire's}
Cobalt. Ballista! No!
Ballista. Ung... We we're so close kid.
Cobalt. Save your breath. It'll be okay
Ballista. No. we both know this is the end for me. Now shut up and listen. We we're close to preventing your future. This isn't what was supposed to happen. This isn't your destiny.
Cobalt. Destiny isn't decided by unknown forces. It's written every day.
Ballista. Boy. Don't ya understand?! The Shard of Time can alter time. And control's What your future is! You have no free will! This monster has a hold of your future. He is you! You have to defeat him... before... before... It.... before.... It...........
Cobalt. What is It?!?!?!
Future Cobalt. You know what part this is? This is the part where he dies in your arms and you have no answer as to what is happening to you!
Cobalt. You're a monster. {Cobalt attacks}
Future Cobalt. Please. Our fight can't happen yet. That isn't part of our time, our battle comes much later.
Cobalt. I'll change time then! {Eagle's Scream fires}
Future Cobalt. AGH!!!
Cobalt. We fight now!!!
Future Cobalt. I think not! {Future Cobalt uses Shard of Time and fades into a Time Stream}
Cobalt. Why is this happening? I just took a job as a guard... now the old man is dead, someone from the future claims to be me at a later period of time and i'm left with no clue what to do next... goodbye Ballista this was the only job i liked...
Chapter 2
{Cobalt leaves The Corridor's of Time and takes Ballista's boat back to Ashara}
{Cobalt anchor's the boat and walks into town}
Cobalt. Thief, if you even try to take my Gil i'll blow your head off.
Thief. Want to test that? {Backstab}
Cobalt. I'm wearing regenerative armor and all you have is an urchin's knife. Say goodbye thief. {Eagle's scream fire's}
Thief. Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh......
Cobalt. I told you not to try that, now you're dead.
Cobalt. It's amazing how in a town like this street duels are normal and so is death. No screams, no cry's for the dead. nothing. No one cares about anyone here. We're all on our own.....
???. you seem a little down there buddy.
Cobalt. Wouldn't you be sad if your life fell apart?
???. Geeze pal sounds like you need a drink.
Cobalt. You're not a drunk after Gil are ya?
???. If i was i'd have it already.
Cobalt. Do you not see the dead thief over there?
???. The thief was nothing but a street rat with nothing but a street rat's knife. Plus all ya did was blow a hole in him! That's not honorable. Spar with me, just with your blade and not your gun and let's see who wins.
Cobalt. Alright. But before we start. Tell me your name so i can scream out your defeat across Ashara, and all across the Ash Lands, and the Forest's of Broken Dreams, and over the hills of the High Plains, All the way to the Palace of Light on the other side of the world!
???. you really think i'm that special? I'm touched. My name is Bishop.
Cobalt. If you're good enough to beat me. If you're as good as you claim. Then you're probably a strong enough warrior to be proud of defeating. Let's see if i'm right.
Bishop. Strong headed beyond imagination.
Cobalt. It's for a reason. Now draw your blade!
Bishop. As you wish! {Bishop draws Inscyzer}
Cobalt. Is that all you have? A giant shield?
Bishop. Hardly. Inscyzer Battle Mode! {Inscyzer opens into a two handled sword with steel teeth in the middle}
Bishop. Prepare yourself.
Cobalt. No wonder you don't need a Gunblade. I'll still beat you.
Bishop. Battle is like a game of Chess. It's all strategy. Let's see yours.
{Battle starts}
{Cobalt uses Eagle's Talon}
Bishop. Inscyzer shield mode! {Inscyzer turns back into a two handled shield}
Cobalt. What?! You absorbed the hit with your shield. Or sword. or whatever that is.
Bishop. It's a one of a kind Multi-Blade that i made.
Cobalt. Fine. I'll still win this fight!
{Battle resumes}
Bishop. My move. Inscyzer Battle mode! {Inscyzer slams into Cobalt sideways}
Cobalt. Ung... you don't even need to use the sharp end...
{Cobalt jumps into the air and starts spinning at blinding speeds}
Cobalt. Swooping Eagle! {Cobalt charges at Bishop from the air with sword ready}
Bishop. Inscyzer Ravager mode! {Inscyzer separates into two curved toothed swords}
Cobalt. Not this time. Ah!!!!!!!!! {Cobalt slams into Bishop with Blade and body}
Bishop. Good hit. Not good enough. {Overdrive mode Berserker}
Bishop. Ah!!!!!!!!!!!! {Bishop flail's his blades wildly slamming into Cobalt and The Eagle's Scream.
Bishop. It's all over. {Bishop swipes Cobalt with the blunt side of his Ravager blades knocking him into the air}
Cobalt. Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!! {Cobalt hits ground} ahhhhhhhhhhhh..... okay... you win............
{Battle ends}
Chapter 3
Bishop. Come with me. There are others you need to meet.
Cobalt. I can't ice down... everything first?
Bishop. You wouldn't have to if you weren't so head strong. Now let's go.
Cobalt. Ah man. Fine.
{Bishop and Cobalt go into an abandoned building}
Bishop. This is it. We're here.
{Time stops}
Cobalt. what is this place? Bishop? {Bishop stands still without breathing}
Future Cobalt. You can't ignore this problem of yours.
Cobalt. You.
Future Cobalt. Yes me. And from the looks of you, you didn't defeat Bishop.
Cobalt. And you did?
Future Cobalt. Of course i did. I was ten times stronger then you at this point. And i'm 30 times stronger now.
Cobalt. Why are you doing this? Why?
Future Cobalt. You'll see. {Future Cobalt fades into time and time resumes}
Cobalt. STOP TOYING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!
Bishop. What is wrong with you?
Cobalt. I... he... i... Nevermind.....
Bishop. Your business is your own. But you will be respectful here.
Cobalt. [Bishop was only serious during battle. He means it here}
Cobalt. What's so special about this abandoned run down building?
Bishop. It may be run down now. But only because a great battle was fought here. Between a Crimson haired warrior. And a masked soldier of darkness.
Cobalt. [I have no doubt in my mind that Crimson haired warrior was my mentor]
{Flashback}
Unexpected Expedition.
Ashara. A beautiful sea port. home to Treasure hunters, Sell swords, Thieves, Drunkards, and Assassin's. All looking for sunken treasure and any way to get it. Not the safest place to live but if you're in it for the gold. Or working as a Sell sword guard there's no other place to be. One day an old Sea captain discovered the existence of a treasure more valuable then gold. He hired a young Sell sword who wielded a special Gunblade to help him search for it.
Chapter 1.
Ballista. Alright kid, Today we're gonna find that treasure we've been looking for.
Cobalt. As long as i get paid i'll keep following you.
Ballista. Oh c'mon boy, Don't you care about anything? We're living a life of adventure! We explore the high seas! We venture into caves and ruins! We live a life of excitement!
Cobalt. You know what's exciting? Everything i can buy with the money you owe me.
Ballista. Hehe, smart mouth aye?
Cobalt. Gotta have fun somehow.
Ballista. I knew you we're special when i saw that Gunblade... But now, we've arrived at our destination.
Cobalt. So, this is the place that holds this artifact you've been babbling about?
Ballista. Babbling? Do you have any idea how important this thing is?! Boy this artifact could change the course of history! The course of time itself...
Cobalt. What exactly are we here for old man?
Ballista. An important artifact... you'll find out later... and we have to get it before...
Cobalt. Before what?
Ballista. I've said to much and we're running out of time. Let's go.
Cobalt. [What on earth is the old man talking about? An important artifact? Alter the course of history? Get it before what exactly?]
Ballista. Watch where you're going and stay quiet.
Cobalt. [Stay quiet for what?]
Ballista. Look out!
Cobalt. Finally some action!
{Time Beast attacks}
Cobalt. Don't worry i got this! Piercing blow! {Eagle's scream Gunblade fire's}
Cobalt. What?! The bullet vanished?!
Ballista. That's why i told you to stay quiet kid. This is a Time Beast. Sent from a time stream to guard the Shard.
Cobalt. The Shard? Is that what we're here for? And who sent this thing?!
Ballista. The one who beat us here...
Cobalt. Who's that?!
{Time Beast slams fist into Cobalt}
Cobalt. AGH!!!!!
Ballista. You can't beat him that way kid. You gotta use your blade. If your lucky. You'll hit him.
Cobalt. Lucky?! How?! Who beat us here?! Who's controlling this thing?!
Ballista. The Holder of the Shard. The one who beat us here...
Cobalt. Who is he?!
Ballista. We'll find out.{Ballista attacks with Gold sword}
{Time Beast screams}
Ballista. That's how ya hit it!
Cobalt. I can do that. {Eagle's talon!}
{Time Beast dodges}
Cobalt. Son of a UNG!!!
{Time Beast slams Cobalt into the cave wall}
???. Enough. I thought a mere beast could be slain. But obviously you're not as strong as i was yet. Beast go back to your time. {??? Snaps fingers and Time Beast fades into a Time Stream}
Cobalt. Is that him?
???. Ah yes the Sell sword spikey headed youth.
Ballista. Show your face!
???. You know me already. Old man.
Cobalt. What?!
Ballista. What?!
{??? unveils face}
Ballista. NO!!!!!
Cobalt. How is this possible?!
???. I almost forgot how stupid You we're
Cobalt. Why did you say, You like that? You don't know me! What the hell is happening?! What sorcery is this?!?!
???. Foolish loud mouth, I'm no sorcerer.
Cobalt. Then explain what's going on!
???. I'm you. From another time.
Cobalt. You're... me?
Future Cobalt. Yes i'm you. I'm what happens to you. I'm you when It happens.
Cobalt. It???
Future Cobalt. You'll know when It does happen.
Cobalt. I'm not gonna wait for an answer. And i'm not gonna become you. Whatever It is i won't let it happen!
Future Cobalt. I said the same thing. And look at what's happening right now.
{Ballista sneaks up behind Future Cobalt}
Future Cobalt. Please old man. I was here when the first you did the same thing. {Future Cobalt pulls out Eagle's Scream}
Cobalt. What?! But that's one of a kind! Ballista look out!
Future Cobalt. I said the same thing. Look what happens next. {Eagle's Scream fire's}
Cobalt. Ballista! No!
Ballista. Ung... We we're so close kid.
Cobalt. Save your breath. It'll be okay
Ballista. No. we both know this is the end for me. Now shut up and listen. We we're close to preventing your future. This isn't what was supposed to happen. This isn't your destiny.
Cobalt. Destiny isn't decided by unknown forces. It's written every day.
Ballista. Boy. Don't ya understand?! The Shard of Time can alter time. And control's What your future is! You have no free will! This monster has a hold of your future. He is you! You have to defeat him... before... before... It.... before.... It...........
Cobalt. What is It?!?!?!
Future Cobalt. You know what part this is? This is the part where he dies in your arms and you have no answer as to what is happening to you!
Cobalt. You're a monster. {Cobalt attacks}
Future Cobalt. Please. Our fight can't happen yet. That isn't part of our time, our battle comes much later.
Cobalt. I'll change time then! {Eagle's Scream fires}
Future Cobalt. AGH!!!
Cobalt. We fight now!!!
Future Cobalt. I think not! {Future Cobalt uses Shard of Time and fades into a Time Stream}
Cobalt. Why is this happening? I just took a job as a guard... now the old man is dead, someone from the future claims to be me at a later period of time and i'm left with no clue what to do next... goodbye Ballista this was the only job i liked...
Chapter 2
{Cobalt leaves The Corridor's of Time and takes Ballista's boat back to Ashara}
{Cobalt anchor's the boat and walks into town}
Cobalt. Thief, if you even try to take my Gil i'll blow your head off.
Thief. Want to test that? {Backstab}
Cobalt. I'm wearing regenerative armor and all you have is an urchin's knife. Say goodbye thief. {Eagle's scream fire's}
Thief. Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh......
Cobalt. I told you not to try that, now you're dead.
Cobalt. It's amazing how in a town like this street duels are normal and so is death. No screams, no cry's for the dead. nothing. No one cares about anyone here. We're all on our own.....
???. you seem a little down there buddy.
Cobalt. Wouldn't you be sad if your life fell apart?
???. Geeze pal sounds like you need a drink.
Cobalt. You're not a drunk after Gil are ya?
???. If i was i'd have it already.
Cobalt. Do you not see the dead thief over there?
???. The thief was nothing but a street rat with nothing but a street rat's knife. Plus all ya did was blow a hole in him! That's not honorable. Spar with me, just with your blade and not your gun and let's see who wins.
Cobalt. Alright. But before we start. Tell me your name so i can scream out your defeat across Ashara, and all across the Ash Lands, and the Forest's of Broken Dreams, and over the hills of the High Plains, All the way to the Palace of Light on the other side of the world!
???. you really think i'm that special? I'm touched. My name is Bishop.
Cobalt. If you're good enough to beat me. If you're as good as you claim. Then you're probably a strong enough warrior to be proud of defeating. Let's see if i'm right.
Bishop. Strong headed beyond imagination.
Cobalt. It's for a reason. Now draw your blade!
Bishop. As you wish! {Bishop draws Inscyzer}
Cobalt. Is that all you have? A giant shield?
Bishop. Hardly. Inscyzer Battle Mode! {Inscyzer opens into a two handled sword with steel teeth in the middle}
Bishop. Prepare yourself.
Cobalt. No wonder you don't need a Gunblade. I'll still beat you.
Bishop. Battle is like a game of Chess. It's all strategy. Let's see yours.
{Battle starts}
{Cobalt uses Eagle's Talon}
Bishop. Inscyzer shield mode! {Inscyzer turns back into a two handled shield}
Cobalt. What?! You absorbed the hit with your shield. Or sword. or whatever that is.
Bishop. It's a one of a kind Multi-Blade that i made.
Cobalt. Fine. I'll still win this fight!
{Battle resumes}
Bishop. My move. Inscyzer Battle mode! {Inscyzer slams into Cobalt sideways}
Cobalt. Ung... you don't even need to use the sharp end...
{Cobalt jumps into the air and starts spinning at blinding speeds}
Cobalt. Swooping Eagle! {Cobalt charges at Bishop from the air with sword ready}
Bishop. Inscyzer Ravager mode! {Inscyzer separates into two curved toothed swords}
Cobalt. Not this time. Ah!!!!!!!!! {Cobalt slams into Bishop with Blade and body}
Bishop. Good hit. Not good enough. {Overdrive mode Berserker}
Bishop. Ah!!!!!!!!!!!! {Bishop flail's his blades wildly slamming into Cobalt and The Eagle's Scream.
Bishop. It's all over. {Bishop swipes Cobalt with the blunt side of his Ravager blades knocking him into the air}
Cobalt. Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!! {Cobalt hits ground} ahhhhhhhhhhhh..... okay... you win............
{Battle ends}
Chapter 3
Bishop. Come with me. There are others you need to meet.
Cobalt. I can't ice down... everything first?
Bishop. You wouldn't have to if you weren't so head strong. Now let's go.
Cobalt. Ah man. Fine.
{Bishop and Cobalt go into an abandoned building}
Bishop. This is it. We're here.
{Time stops}
Cobalt. what is this place? Bishop? {Bishop stands still without breathing}
Future Cobalt. You can't ignore this problem of yours.
Cobalt. You.
Future Cobalt. Yes me. And from the looks of you, you didn't defeat Bishop.
Cobalt. And you did?
Future Cobalt. Of course i did. I was ten times stronger then you at this point. And i'm 30 times stronger now.
Cobalt. Why are you doing this? Why?
Future Cobalt. You'll see. {Future Cobalt fades into time and time resumes}
Cobalt. STOP TOYING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!
Bishop. What is wrong with you?
Cobalt. I... he... i... Nevermind.....
Bishop. Your business is your own. But you will be respectful here.
Cobalt. [Bishop was only serious during battle. He means it here}
Cobalt. What's so special about this abandoned run down building?
Bishop. It may be run down now. But only because a great battle was fought here. Between a Crimson haired warrior. And a masked soldier of darkness.
Cobalt. [I have no doubt in my mind that Crimson haired warrior was my mentor]
{Flashback}
-
Kara Payne - Posts: 3415
- Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:47 am
» Thu May 03, 2012 11:33 pm
This is a VERY old poem I wrote as part of my creative writing assignment. The topic for it was love. It doesn't rhyme though, mind you. I was so proud of it I posted it on allpoetry.com.
It is crazy cheesy as well, and very embarrassing.
Eternal Day, Eternal Peace, Eternal You.
It is crazy cheesy as well, and very embarrassing.
Eternal Day, Eternal Peace, Eternal You.
Spoiler
If only the stars shined as brightly as your eyes,
Then there would be no night,
An endless haven of light shining down from above,
If only others souls shined as bright as yours,
There would be no poverty nor war,
If only the world shined as brightly as you,
Then it would be a better place for all.
Then there would be no night,
An endless haven of light shining down from above,
If only others souls shined as bright as yours,
There would be no poverty nor war,
If only the world shined as brightly as you,
Then it would be a better place for all.
-
Tom Flanagan - Posts: 3522
- Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2007 1:51 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 3:07 am
So I'm in a creative writing class, and we were given three prompts to choose from to write a story about 1,000 words long. I've finished mine, now, and admittedly it's about 3/2 as long as it's supposed to be, but I don't think I could have gotten it to where it is without the extra 500 words 
Anyways, I'm looking for some critique of the story. Such as: Is it any good at all? Is the ending too vague? Are there any grammatical/syntax errors (I know there are a few for formal writing POV but it's not intended as formal)?
The first ten minutes of my showers are usually spent just standing below the stream of hot water, various fantasies of my boyfriend and ponderings of life flowing through my head as the water runs through my hair and down my back, and this shower was no exception. So, standing there in the shower, my head turned towards the ceiling, droplets of water pelting across my face, I let my mind wander across topics like morality and religion. I’d already made my mind up on both of the topics, mind you, but it’s always fun to toss an idea around in your head again. Time passed as I had no perception of it, being lost in my thoughts it was as foreign a thought to me as Hinduism to a Mormon.
Finally dredging up enough motivation to break from my self-induced trance, though, I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and uncapped it, letting a dollop of the slimy material fall into my open palm before lather, rinse, repeating as the instructions would say. Okay, I skipped the repeat step, but when you have hair that reaches past your shoulder blades, your yearly shampoo costs could afford you a new gold watch or something of the sort.
I reached for the conditioner this time--I like my hair to be smooth and shiny on top of clean--but stopped. I could swear I heard a sound but..... no, just my imagination. I knew well enough by now that if I did hear a sound without a definite source that I shouldn’t trust it to be real regardless; I used to hallucinate until about age 14, and I’ve been leery of them starting again. I reached again for the conditioner but stopped again as well. No sound this time, just a feeling. I can’t even claim that I thought something would happen if I grabbed the bottle, it was just that, in the back of my mind, I could feel something was off.
So I stood there, the water still raining down onto me, running over my briasts, down my back, on my feet, ending its short journey in the drain of the shower, unable to shake the feeling. Maybe I did hear something? I couldn’t just let it sit, turning over in my head. Running an idea through your mind on repeat is usually fun.
I abruptly ended my shower, turning the flow-valve to off. If there wasn’t a sound, which any sane person would know there couldn’t have been, I could condition my hair then. Grabbing a towel off the rack next to the shower, I wrapped it around my torso, covering anything a prospective peeping tom might want to catch a glimpse of. Reaching for the bathroom door handle so that I may investigate the living room--but just like the conditioner, I couldn’t bring myself grab it. There was a noise, and it’s been reverberating throughout the room this entire time, I just hadn’t been paying attention. My senses heightened by the adrenaline running through my veins, though, I could hear it as clear as day, now. It was just a simple hum. Low, quiet, but there, emanating from beyond the door from God-knows-what, and thick in the air like fog.
I had to know, though, where it was coming from. What started it. Why it was in my living room. I closed my eyes and stood there in front of the door, my hand hovering above the knob for what felt like a short eternity, though I’m sure it was a whole of ten seconds; it’s amazing how your perception of time can distort when trying to work up the nerve to do such a simple task. I dropped my hand onto the knob, exhaling, my grip on the towel covering my body tightening. And I flung the door open, and what I saw unnerved me.
Nothing. I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing about my living room as abnormal, because everything I could see was in its normal place.
The humming was louder now, though, with the door opened. It sounded reminiscent of a fluorescent light in some old factory, but louder. I wanted nothing more than to close the door and lock myself in the bathroom, because suddenly nothing about my unchanged house was the same, an alien land with the buzzing noise only intensifying the more I tried to ignore it. Everything in my body told me to retreat into the relative safety of my shower, yet unwilled by my, my leg moved, and I took a step forward.
So I dropped my towel, and I walked across my living room, the loud humming sound encompassing my thoughts. There was no point in trying to stop myself, maybe I had accepted defeat, but any attempts to control my legs at this point were completely futile; whatever was causing the noise now owned my legs, compelling me to come to it, wherever it may be.
Passing through the door on the other side of the living room, I finally did see something awry with the house. It was the windows. No eyes staring at me or anything you might expect in some cliché horror movie, and that’s actually why it was all the more horrifying to notice. On the other side of my windows sat only blackness, so dark it couldn’t be natural. After all, it was only 7:00 PM, the sun should have still been shining, or, at the least, I should’ve see a street lamp. Nothing, just black.
Apparently my legs had decided that it was time to wander up the stairs. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared out of my mind, each step up the noise seemed to grow twice as loud. I tried my best to calm myself, though. It was just a hallucination. Where was I going, the bedroom, or the sun room? The cat had turned on the radio by mistake.
I didn’t have a cat, though. At the top of the stairs, I went left, which was the way of the sun room, though I was sure like the rest of the windows I’d seen up until that point, there would be no sun peering in onto my bare skin. Each step closer to the door was agonizing, it felt like I was walking on lava, each bolt of pain shooting up my leg an imagined one, trying to stop myself. I didn’t know what waited for me on the other side of that door, but I knew I didn’t want to find out.
No matter how hard I protested, my legs continued taking me closer to the door, and I started crying. That damned humming was deafeningly loud, now, calling to me. It wanted me, and I knew that whatever it wanted me for was far from benevolent. My hand reached for the door, I begged and pleaded to myself that I could stop like I did with the bathroom door, and with the conditioner, but my body ignored me and grabbed the handle, turning it slowly, like it was taunting me, trying to be dramatic before the big reveal....
The door opened, very unlike a horror movie in that it didn’t creak, and the humming came to a screeching halt, replaced by silence. The windows were still black, but from them light still poured into the room. It seemed normal enough, though it was by no means sunlight. I glanced around the room, and it was as empty as it should have been. Why was I so afraid?
The windows, though. The humming. The--the thing sitting in the middle of the sun room. When I finally saw it, I realized many things. It was very calming to look at, yet doubly it was the most horrifying thing I’d ever seen. The two emotions were disconnected from each-other, though. I was looking at two things, occupying the exact same place in space and time, but my mind couldn’t decide which to focus on, which was the true being. I couldn’t even properly describe them, either. Eldritch abominations to the letter, so wrong to look at that it hurt my head to try and build a mental picture.
The figures, figure, shifted slightly, if they could get anymore grotesque, moving was the way, because as they did an assortment of sounds echoed in my head, bones cracking and flesh mangling itself.... it had a mouth. Or perhaps I was imagining it, but when I saw it open, all I knew is that I didn’t want to hear it speak. I closed my eyes, tears running from the corners again, too afraid to look at it anymore, or to hear it speak.
And I opened them, still in the shower, my arm outstretched for the conditioner. It--it was a hallucination after all. Their return wasn’t exactly joyous, but it was easier knowing that it was all just imagined, the remnant mix of emotions still flowing through my mind. I sighed, my hand closing around the conditioner.
On a side-note, why can't I indent the beginnings of the paragraphs? I had to split the lines up to make it look less clustered
A triple-space is where there'd normally be just a space between the lines.
Anyways, I'm looking for some critique of the story. Such as: Is it any good at all? Is the ending too vague? Are there any grammatical/syntax errors (I know there are a few for formal writing POV but it's not intended as formal)?
One’s Imagination
The first ten minutes of my showers are usually spent just standing below the stream of hot water, various fantasies of my boyfriend and ponderings of life flowing through my head as the water runs through my hair and down my back, and this shower was no exception. So, standing there in the shower, my head turned towards the ceiling, droplets of water pelting across my face, I let my mind wander across topics like morality and religion. I’d already made my mind up on both of the topics, mind you, but it’s always fun to toss an idea around in your head again. Time passed as I had no perception of it, being lost in my thoughts it was as foreign a thought to me as Hinduism to a Mormon.
Finally dredging up enough motivation to break from my self-induced trance, though, I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and uncapped it, letting a dollop of the slimy material fall into my open palm before lather, rinse, repeating as the instructions would say. Okay, I skipped the repeat step, but when you have hair that reaches past your shoulder blades, your yearly shampoo costs could afford you a new gold watch or something of the sort.
I reached for the conditioner this time--I like my hair to be smooth and shiny on top of clean--but stopped. I could swear I heard a sound but..... no, just my imagination. I knew well enough by now that if I did hear a sound without a definite source that I shouldn’t trust it to be real regardless; I used to hallucinate until about age 14, and I’ve been leery of them starting again. I reached again for the conditioner but stopped again as well. No sound this time, just a feeling. I can’t even claim that I thought something would happen if I grabbed the bottle, it was just that, in the back of my mind, I could feel something was off.
So I stood there, the water still raining down onto me, running over my briasts, down my back, on my feet, ending its short journey in the drain of the shower, unable to shake the feeling. Maybe I did hear something? I couldn’t just let it sit, turning over in my head. Running an idea through your mind on repeat is usually fun.
I abruptly ended my shower, turning the flow-valve to off. If there wasn’t a sound, which any sane person would know there couldn’t have been, I could condition my hair then. Grabbing a towel off the rack next to the shower, I wrapped it around my torso, covering anything a prospective peeping tom might want to catch a glimpse of. Reaching for the bathroom door handle so that I may investigate the living room--but just like the conditioner, I couldn’t bring myself grab it. There was a noise, and it’s been reverberating throughout the room this entire time, I just hadn’t been paying attention. My senses heightened by the adrenaline running through my veins, though, I could hear it as clear as day, now. It was just a simple hum. Low, quiet, but there, emanating from beyond the door from God-knows-what, and thick in the air like fog.
I had to know, though, where it was coming from. What started it. Why it was in my living room. I closed my eyes and stood there in front of the door, my hand hovering above the knob for what felt like a short eternity, though I’m sure it was a whole of ten seconds; it’s amazing how your perception of time can distort when trying to work up the nerve to do such a simple task. I dropped my hand onto the knob, exhaling, my grip on the towel covering my body tightening. And I flung the door open, and what I saw unnerved me.
Nothing. I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing about my living room as abnormal, because everything I could see was in its normal place.
The humming was louder now, though, with the door opened. It sounded reminiscent of a fluorescent light in some old factory, but louder. I wanted nothing more than to close the door and lock myself in the bathroom, because suddenly nothing about my unchanged house was the same, an alien land with the buzzing noise only intensifying the more I tried to ignore it. Everything in my body told me to retreat into the relative safety of my shower, yet unwilled by my, my leg moved, and I took a step forward.
So I dropped my towel, and I walked across my living room, the loud humming sound encompassing my thoughts. There was no point in trying to stop myself, maybe I had accepted defeat, but any attempts to control my legs at this point were completely futile; whatever was causing the noise now owned my legs, compelling me to come to it, wherever it may be.
Passing through the door on the other side of the living room, I finally did see something awry with the house. It was the windows. No eyes staring at me or anything you might expect in some cliché horror movie, and that’s actually why it was all the more horrifying to notice. On the other side of my windows sat only blackness, so dark it couldn’t be natural. After all, it was only 7:00 PM, the sun should have still been shining, or, at the least, I should’ve see a street lamp. Nothing, just black.
Apparently my legs had decided that it was time to wander up the stairs. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared out of my mind, each step up the noise seemed to grow twice as loud. I tried my best to calm myself, though. It was just a hallucination. Where was I going, the bedroom, or the sun room? The cat had turned on the radio by mistake.
I didn’t have a cat, though. At the top of the stairs, I went left, which was the way of the sun room, though I was sure like the rest of the windows I’d seen up until that point, there would be no sun peering in onto my bare skin. Each step closer to the door was agonizing, it felt like I was walking on lava, each bolt of pain shooting up my leg an imagined one, trying to stop myself. I didn’t know what waited for me on the other side of that door, but I knew I didn’t want to find out.
No matter how hard I protested, my legs continued taking me closer to the door, and I started crying. That damned humming was deafeningly loud, now, calling to me. It wanted me, and I knew that whatever it wanted me for was far from benevolent. My hand reached for the door, I begged and pleaded to myself that I could stop like I did with the bathroom door, and with the conditioner, but my body ignored me and grabbed the handle, turning it slowly, like it was taunting me, trying to be dramatic before the big reveal....
The door opened, very unlike a horror movie in that it didn’t creak, and the humming came to a screeching halt, replaced by silence. The windows were still black, but from them light still poured into the room. It seemed normal enough, though it was by no means sunlight. I glanced around the room, and it was as empty as it should have been. Why was I so afraid?
The windows, though. The humming. The--the thing sitting in the middle of the sun room. When I finally saw it, I realized many things. It was very calming to look at, yet doubly it was the most horrifying thing I’d ever seen. The two emotions were disconnected from each-other, though. I was looking at two things, occupying the exact same place in space and time, but my mind couldn’t decide which to focus on, which was the true being. I couldn’t even properly describe them, either. Eldritch abominations to the letter, so wrong to look at that it hurt my head to try and build a mental picture.
The figures, figure, shifted slightly, if they could get anymore grotesque, moving was the way, because as they did an assortment of sounds echoed in my head, bones cracking and flesh mangling itself.... it had a mouth. Or perhaps I was imagining it, but when I saw it open, all I knew is that I didn’t want to hear it speak. I closed my eyes, tears running from the corners again, too afraid to look at it anymore, or to hear it speak.
And I opened them, still in the shower, my arm outstretched for the conditioner. It--it was a hallucination after all. Their return wasn’t exactly joyous, but it was easier knowing that it was all just imagined, the remnant mix of emotions still flowing through my mind. I sighed, my hand closing around the conditioner.
Bzzzzzz.....
On a side-note, why can't I indent the beginnings of the paragraphs? I had to split the lines up to make it look less clustered
A triple-space is where there'd normally be just a space between the lines.-
Kay O'Hara - Posts: 3366
- Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 8:04 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 2:35 am
Hello I wrote a poem for a class today that I particularly like. For some reason I always feel that any form of creative writing can help sum up my feelings on a particular subject or series of events rather well.Let me know what ya think!
Let them Bear the Burden
Have you met the man?
Alone and afraid, for he questions a greater plan
Celestial luminance eclipsed by their earthly transgressions.
Fates force upon him a confined depression
Have you seen their faces?
With weary eyes a’ flicker with the embers of a dying fire
Persisting only on the fuel of unending, upending desire
Their aged flesh, disgraced and failing to obscure the secrets held inside
Stretched thin and war-torn, from truths cast aside
Have you heard their voices?
Pleas for understanding that fall unheard?
A desperate struggle to amend your choices
Begging you to block out the disorienting noises
Have you joined their fight?
Marching off to an unending revolution between them and the world
Don’t close your eyes, for they implore your sight
Can you see the universal quandaries now unfurled?
Have you dreamed their dreams?
A lucid expression of sense and reason
Fear for the world as it remains unchanged season after season
With perpetual motion comes a confounding static
A world that craves status- quo like an innocent addict
Have you carried their burden?
Do you understand their plight?
Like an angel doomed to the sod
These men shall never feel the sensation of flight.
Have you answered the call?
No?
Despite your discourage it is a no arduous task
Listen to the ideas
Admonish the feats
Take a moment and revel in the weighty ghosts of the past
For it need not matter which came first or who came last.
Only time will judge what narration is told
With the verdict cast and our history made
A tale that forever favors the bold
Who’s keeping track of their debts yet unpaid
Remember the forgotten
For their faces are blank and their voices now fade
Yet they can take no solace in the lives that they made
Let them bear the burden, let them incite the change
Let them carry the cross as they welcome the blame
If anyone is interested ill tell you a little more about my inspiration for this poem.
Let them Bear the Burden
Have you met the man?
Alone and afraid, for he questions a greater plan
Celestial luminance eclipsed by their earthly transgressions.
Fates force upon him a confined depression
Have you seen their faces?
With weary eyes a’ flicker with the embers of a dying fire
Persisting only on the fuel of unending, upending desire
Their aged flesh, disgraced and failing to obscure the secrets held inside
Stretched thin and war-torn, from truths cast aside
Have you heard their voices?
Pleas for understanding that fall unheard?
A desperate struggle to amend your choices
Begging you to block out the disorienting noises
Have you joined their fight?
Marching off to an unending revolution between them and the world
Don’t close your eyes, for they implore your sight
Can you see the universal quandaries now unfurled?
Have you dreamed their dreams?
A lucid expression of sense and reason
Fear for the world as it remains unchanged season after season
With perpetual motion comes a confounding static
A world that craves status- quo like an innocent addict
Have you carried their burden?
Do you understand their plight?
Like an angel doomed to the sod
These men shall never feel the sensation of flight.
Have you answered the call?
No?
Despite your discourage it is a no arduous task
Listen to the ideas
Admonish the feats
Take a moment and revel in the weighty ghosts of the past
For it need not matter which came first or who came last.
Only time will judge what narration is told
With the verdict cast and our history made
A tale that forever favors the bold
Who’s keeping track of their debts yet unpaid
Remember the forgotten
For their faces are blank and their voices now fade
Yet they can take no solace in the lives that they made
Let them bear the burden, let them incite the change
Let them carry the cross as they welcome the blame
If anyone is interested ill tell you a little more about my inspiration for this poem.
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Naomi Lastname - Posts: 3390
- Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:21 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 4:40 am
That was excellent. I'm curious, what was your inspiration?
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Siobhan Wallis-McRobert - Posts: 3449
- Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:09 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 2:44 am
That was excellent. I'm curious, what was your inspiration?
Thank you!
Well the poem was a creative assignment for a historical fiction class. We read fictionalized versions of scientists like Alan Turing, Kurt Godel, Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg and Che' Guevera. One thing that all of these very different men had in common was that they all sacrificed so much for the sake of history. Alan and Kurt made terrific strides in mathmatics, theoretical physics and computer science, ( with Alan solving the German Engima code and producing the first theories about modern computer science) but were chastized for their personal lives and both ended their lives by way of suicide. Niels Bohr and Heisenberg were best friends with a father/son, mentor/apprentice relationship, but all that was lost because their home countries were on opposite sides of WWII and both provided essential work to their factions nuclear programs. Che' was from an affluent, well to do family and was not too dissimilar from any average teenager in his early years, but after noting the peril of his homeland he gave all of that up to take up a radical fight.
All of these men cast aside their lives, their legacies and everything that made them who they were in order to make history. You will remember what they did and the ideas they worked for are passed down, but how much will anyone remember of the actual man behind the ideals? They( as well as countless others) bear the burden of history so that we may live our lives.
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Marine x - Posts: 3327
- Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2007 4:54 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 2:42 am
I haven't written anything lately. Nothing creative at least.
I'm writing a poem this weekend. Anybody have any good inspiration?
I'm writing a poem this weekend. Anybody have any good inspiration?
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Zoe Ratcliffe - Posts: 3370
- Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2007 12:45 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 8:03 am
I wrote a short story vaguely inspired by Lovecraft, but I don't know if I want to post it, as I think it has some questionable content. Not sure, though.
(plus the fact that it's not very good and just for fun)
If I do, can someone tell me how to use spoiler tags? Is it [spoiler] then the same but with a slash?
(plus the fact that it's not very good and just for fun)
If I do, can someone tell me how to use spoiler tags? Is it [spoiler] then the same but with a slash?
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Lewis Morel - Posts: 3431
- Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:40 pm
» Thu May 03, 2012 8:35 pm
They come in through the shrouded starlit window to rip your clothes and cut your hair
Tearing apart what you have, your lavish wardrobe and carefully placed judgements, exposing doubts
Flaunting control, arrogance and crushing dreams with holy hammers, mocking you and you alone
Moments and words haunting you, forcing you into a cerebral cry
For 1,460 days they consume you Run, Run, Run
The prayers uttered in vain, personal vain, personal struggle overtaking war, famine
False hopes carried by false popes into nowhere, awaiting repose from the space station
anolyze every word. Leaving you staring into the darkness that occupies the tunnel
Fighting,fighting,fighting a battle in which the enemy has already picked up and left
A light arises, a flash, a fleeting, vanishing hope
Too fast for your complacent proclivity
Fleeting so that the light cannot be seen as you stare into the abyss
Fleeting, preventing you from living within aspirations
Ecstasy pursued endlessly by depression
Unsure of what you desire, to be left alone, surrounded by them
Knowing all too well that they soon dissipate, disappoint
The double edged sword, piercing its way into every action and reaction
A metamorphosis of you, conforming or confirmation?
Every seven days a new struggle, to ensure that the endless, vicious cycle does not repeat itself
The substance is sustenance, providing the key to Pandoras Box
But the box contains only another, to be reopened with spring eternal
Back to the beginning again, a destructive renaissance
Taking the wrecking ball to your faux kingdom
What’s wrong with them?
With your bald head and tattered regalia you’ve already let them win, what more could be asked
So you gaze into the celestial expanse and dream those futile dreams
Dreams of smartphone wielding, metropolitan warriors
Stalking the streets of Time’s square, with their collective Crusade for a generation
Taking place on the streaming highways of interglobal communication
Dreams of letting loose, an endless high, with an 80’s soundtrack and hangovers in the morning
Dreams of blue collar, red blooded, strong backboned, American’s fighting the good fight
Dreams borrowed from the provocative waves dancing above your head
You believe these are your dreams reject that they have been brought under the cover of dark
Lead down the treacherous path
Come to the realization that you are at fault
No haunt nor vision haunts the insecurities of the night
The fleeting and the dreaming, the evaporation of what you’ve prayed for 1,460 nights
Pushing the limits of reality, deny that you have made any gain in your pursuit, losing sight of ambition.
I ask but one question.
Who are you?
Another poem I wrote last year. It is in the Beatnik style similar to "Howl" by Alan Greenberg.
Tearing apart what you have, your lavish wardrobe and carefully placed judgements, exposing doubts
Flaunting control, arrogance and crushing dreams with holy hammers, mocking you and you alone
Moments and words haunting you, forcing you into a cerebral cry
For 1,460 days they consume you Run, Run, Run
The prayers uttered in vain, personal vain, personal struggle overtaking war, famine
False hopes carried by false popes into nowhere, awaiting repose from the space station
anolyze every word. Leaving you staring into the darkness that occupies the tunnel
Fighting,fighting,fighting a battle in which the enemy has already picked up and left
A light arises, a flash, a fleeting, vanishing hope
Too fast for your complacent proclivity
Fleeting so that the light cannot be seen as you stare into the abyss
Fleeting, preventing you from living within aspirations
Ecstasy pursued endlessly by depression
Unsure of what you desire, to be left alone, surrounded by them
Knowing all too well that they soon dissipate, disappoint
The double edged sword, piercing its way into every action and reaction
A metamorphosis of you, conforming or confirmation?
Every seven days a new struggle, to ensure that the endless, vicious cycle does not repeat itself
The substance is sustenance, providing the key to Pandoras Box
But the box contains only another, to be reopened with spring eternal
Back to the beginning again, a destructive renaissance
Taking the wrecking ball to your faux kingdom
What’s wrong with them?
With your bald head and tattered regalia you’ve already let them win, what more could be asked
So you gaze into the celestial expanse and dream those futile dreams
Dreams of smartphone wielding, metropolitan warriors
Stalking the streets of Time’s square, with their collective Crusade for a generation
Taking place on the streaming highways of interglobal communication
Dreams of letting loose, an endless high, with an 80’s soundtrack and hangovers in the morning
Dreams of blue collar, red blooded, strong backboned, American’s fighting the good fight
Dreams borrowed from the provocative waves dancing above your head
You believe these are your dreams reject that they have been brought under the cover of dark
Lead down the treacherous path
Come to the realization that you are at fault
No haunt nor vision haunts the insecurities of the night
The fleeting and the dreaming, the evaporation of what you’ve prayed for 1,460 nights
Pushing the limits of reality, deny that you have made any gain in your pursuit, losing sight of ambition.
I ask but one question.
Who are you?
Another poem I wrote last year. It is in the Beatnik style similar to "Howl" by Alan Greenberg.
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Your Mum - Posts: 3434
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 6:23 pm
» Thu May 03, 2012 9:26 pm
I know that this is quite an old post, but it seemed more appropriate than opening a new thread.
Two sides of a coin.
Wake from your slumber and face the sun,
make your choice, see what the world has done.
Ignore your problems or you can try to fix
your sorrows, go drown them in the river Styx.
When uncertainty holds you sway,
go ahead, take the cowards way.
Flip a coin and make it right,
so that God can't ignore your plight.
But whatever happens you must act,
you know this, it is a fact.
From now on, whenever you are stuck,
you will flip a coin and leave it to luck.
What happens now you cannot choose,
you used luck, you have nothing to lose.
From now om, your fate is out of your hands,
you are cursed, you live your live by chance.
To flip a coin is to never fail,
a lesson that life taught.
But when life is neither Head nor Tail,
put your trust in God.
Two sides of a coin.
Wake from your slumber and face the sun,
make your choice, see what the world has done.
Ignore your problems or you can try to fix
your sorrows, go drown them in the river Styx.
When uncertainty holds you sway,
go ahead, take the cowards way.
Flip a coin and make it right,
so that God can't ignore your plight.
But whatever happens you must act,
you know this, it is a fact.
From now on, whenever you are stuck,
you will flip a coin and leave it to luck.
What happens now you cannot choose,
you used luck, you have nothing to lose.
From now om, your fate is out of your hands,
you are cursed, you live your live by chance.
To flip a coin is to never fail,
a lesson that life taught.
But when life is neither Head nor Tail,
put your trust in God.
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Evaa - Posts: 3502
- Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 9:11 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 2:41 am
I have taken quite a few creative writing classes so I have a large amount of poetry that I feel goes unappreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
A Poem
Hangover
A Poem
Hangover
Spoiler
Across the carpet of green and brown spew,
I fashioned a glance at my mucus filled shoe,
Ignoring so desperate the details of my night,
I just tried to ignore everything in my sight.
My head spun like an empty bottle of wine,
Trying to figure out if everything was fine,
I turned my head and my eyes lacked sight,
Never again will I move or look at light.
These hangovers are bad. I need a moist towel,
My stomach is churning and starts to howl.
Off to the bathroom I crawled so slow,
Took a seat on the toilet but nothing would go.
My head fell back and hit porcelain, off-white,
Again my head starts hurting, regretting last night,
Suddenly my stomach comes out the other way,
Quick onto my knees and afterwards I lay.
Lying for hours and not a tap on the door,
Where are all my friends where is the support?
At any rate, I pop some pills and forget the pain,
Grab my keys off the floor and drive home in the rain.
Across the carpet of green and brown spew,
I fashioned a glance at my mucus filled shoe,
Ignoring so desperate the details of my night,
I just tried to ignore everything in my sight.
My head spun like an empty bottle of wine,
Trying to figure out if everything was fine,
I turned my head and my eyes lacked sight,
Never again will I move or look at light.
These hangovers are bad. I need a moist towel,
My stomach is churning and starts to howl.
Off to the bathroom I crawled so slow,
Took a seat on the toilet but nothing would go.
My head fell back and hit porcelain, off-white,
Again my head starts hurting, regretting last night,
Suddenly my stomach comes out the other way,
Quick onto my knees and afterwards I lay.
Lying for hours and not a tap on the door,
Where are all my friends where is the support?
At any rate, I pop some pills and forget the pain,
Grab my keys off the floor and drive home in the rain.
I couldn't stand when people used to bother me when I would drink, throwing up wasted/hung over. And they always did. Always. It makes it so much worse.
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Noraima Vega - Posts: 3467
- Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:28 am
» Thu May 03, 2012 10:34 pm
I have something I fixed up earlier today. Nothing big, just a little somehting:
Spoiler
Sitting alone
I look out over the yard
The others are grouped up
All in different corners of the school
They all know me
The fake me
But when will I have the courage
To be the true me?
How can it be?
Where did it go wrong?
Why can’t I see myself
When I look in the mirror?
What happened to the boy I knew
So very long ago?
And who is the one staring back at me?
I lose myself
Bit by bit
They all chip away at me
The ones who call me friend
Taking what little I have
Putting pieces of themselves back
To make me more like them
Soon I will be gone
In the yard I see her
Talking to her friends
Talking about me
The fake me
The one they all love
And the one I hate
She is the girl I want
And the girl the fake me got
At home people say I am different
My Ma and Pa say I am quiet
And that only my friends make my smile come out
They are right
But I am not happy
Not at home, not at school, not at work
They will never understand
How lonely I am
I haven't given it a name yet, but I might call it The Fake Me Sitting alone
I look out over the yard
The others are grouped up
All in different corners of the school
They all know me
The fake me
But when will I have the courage
To be the true me?
How can it be?
Where did it go wrong?
Why can’t I see myself
When I look in the mirror?
What happened to the boy I knew
So very long ago?
And who is the one staring back at me?
I lose myself
Bit by bit
They all chip away at me
The ones who call me friend
Taking what little I have
Putting pieces of themselves back
To make me more like them
Soon I will be gone
In the yard I see her
Talking to her friends
Talking about me
The fake me
The one they all love
And the one I hate
She is the girl I want
And the girl the fake me got
At home people say I am different
My Ma and Pa say I am quiet
And that only my friends make my smile come out
They are right
But I am not happy
Not at home, not at school, not at work
They will never understand
How lonely I am
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KRistina Karlsson - Posts: 3383
- Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 9:22 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 5:56 am
I have something I fixed up earlier today. Nothing big, just a little somehting:
Spoiler
Sitting alone
I look out over the yard
The others are grouped up
All in different corners of the school
They all know me
The fake me
But when will I have the courage
To be the true me?
How can it be?
Where did it go wrong?
Why can’t I see myself
When I look in the mirror?
What happened to the boy I knew
So very long ago?
And who is the one staring back at me?
I lose myself
Bit by bit
They all chip away at me
The ones who call me friend
Taking what little I have
Putting pieces of themselves back
To make me more like them
Soon I will be gone
In the yard I see her
Talking to her friends
Talking about me
The fake me
The one they all love
And the one I hate
She is the girl I want
And the girl the fake me got
At home people say I am different
My Ma and Pa say I am quiet
And that only my friends make my smile come out
They are right
But I am not happy
Not at home, not at school, not at work
They will never understand
How lonely I am
I haven't given it a name yet, but I might call it The Fake Me Sitting alone
I look out over the yard
The others are grouped up
All in different corners of the school
They all know me
The fake me
But when will I have the courage
To be the true me?
How can it be?
Where did it go wrong?
Why can’t I see myself
When I look in the mirror?
What happened to the boy I knew
So very long ago?
And who is the one staring back at me?
I lose myself
Bit by bit
They all chip away at me
The ones who call me friend
Taking what little I have
Putting pieces of themselves back
To make me more like them
Soon I will be gone
In the yard I see her
Talking to her friends
Talking about me
The fake me
The one they all love
And the one I hate
She is the girl I want
And the girl the fake me got
At home people say I am different
My Ma and Pa say I am quiet
And that only my friends make my smile come out
They are right
But I am not happy
Not at home, not at school, not at work
They will never understand
How lonely I am
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Ronald - Posts: 3319
- Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:16 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 10:18 am
I like it. I have a suggestion and you can feel free to whatever you'd like with it, but instead of using "The Fake Me" use something that is less implied. Like another name or something, "The Decepter" or "The Deceit" is something creative I can think of. It is fine the way it is, but it would add another level of meaning.
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Thema - Posts: 3461
- Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2006 2:36 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 12:07 am
Perhaps. Or maybe I just call it Me. But it is probably best if I call it something less obvious.
I love writing poetry, I don't do it enough anymore though. I'm actually surprised this thread is still existing after a year.
Lonely Night of Fun:
Spoiler
Restless nights have kept me here,
a place I fear I can’t ever escape.
Another PBR dilates my pupils and
destroys an attempt for me to exit
my chair, sprawled out without a care.
Thumbs jerk rapidly as if
conducting a symphony, my
eyes stare into perfect high definition,
“Just one more” I tell myself, but
I know it won’t end, not this easy.
Hours pass, more cans are littered as
if a massive party has been thrown, yet here I
sit alone, eyes red and, all my brain
stops working, I stagger from my chair,
stumble to my bed, head first into my pillow.
I wake up, drunk. My Xbox still on,
stepping on cans I get ready for work,
I mutter to myself, rationalizing my poor
behavior, “It’s okay to drink like this.
I’m not alone, there are lots of people online.”
Restless nights have kept me here,
a place I fear I can’t ever escape.
Another PBR dilates my pupils and
destroys an attempt for me to exit
my chair, sprawled out without a care.
Thumbs jerk rapidly as if
conducting a symphony, my
eyes stare into perfect high definition,
“Just one more” I tell myself, but
I know it won’t end, not this easy.
Hours pass, more cans are littered as
if a massive party has been thrown, yet here I
sit alone, eyes red and, all my brain
stops working, I stagger from my chair,
stumble to my bed, head first into my pillow.
I wake up, drunk. My Xbox still on,
stepping on cans I get ready for work,
I mutter to myself, rationalizing my poor
behavior, “It’s okay to drink like this.
I’m not alone, there are lots of people online.”
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jessica robson - Posts: 3436
- Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:54 am
» Fri May 04, 2012 9:30 am
Heres some jumbled together lyrics I wrote last night.
You are my lover, my friend. My other, where have you been?
You're the sand on the beach to my homeward waves, a calling for me, in my arms, i am saved.
You're the vines woven through my trunk, the propeller for a boat that would have sunk.
Catch me in your arms oh knower!
Take from me what you see and with it show me your faithful compassion.
You came to me in the dead of winter and gave me a gift I'll always remember.
Feed back would be appreciated actually since this is going into a song at some point.
You are my lover, my friend. My other, where have you been?
You're the sand on the beach to my homeward waves, a calling for me, in my arms, i am saved.
You're the vines woven through my trunk, the propeller for a boat that would have sunk.
Catch me in your arms oh knower!
Take from me what you see and with it show me your faithful compassion.
You came to me in the dead of winter and gave me a gift I'll always remember.
Feed back would be appreciated actually since this is going into a song at some point.
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Shannon Lockwood - Posts: 3373
- Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:38 pm
» Fri May 04, 2012 1:14 am
Guess I can try my hand at this again.
I'll call this 'We' in hindsight. Think of it like a drinking song or something like that.
We left for our ego,
We came back for the food!
We tested your mettle,
We caused you a bad mood!
We thought we were right,
We blame it on the drinking!
We are back here tonight,
We aren't great at thinking!
We try to make amends,
We try to make nice!
We say sorry to your friends,
We apologize for the lice!
Ahar, Ahar, Har har har har HAR!
We be layabouts and fools,
We be scallywags and broke!
We can be stubborn as mules,
We just wish to make jokes!
Ahar, Ahar, Har har har har HAR!
We laugh till we cry,
We drink till we DIE!!!!
Ahar, Ahar, Har har har har HAR!
I'll call this 'We' in hindsight. Think of it like a drinking song or something like that.
We left for our ego,
We came back for the food!
We tested your mettle,
We caused you a bad mood!
We thought we were right,
We blame it on the drinking!
We are back here tonight,
We aren't great at thinking!
We try to make amends,
We try to make nice!
We say sorry to your friends,
We apologize for the lice!
Ahar, Ahar, Har har har har HAR!
We be layabouts and fools,
We be scallywags and broke!
We can be stubborn as mules,
We just wish to make jokes!
Ahar, Ahar, Har har har har HAR!
We laugh till we cry,
We drink till we DIE!!!!
Ahar, Ahar, Har har har har HAR!
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Brad Johnson - Posts: 3361
- Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 7:19 pm
83 posts
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