Probably not too funny, but as a "you had to be there" moment, I was playing at my friend's house (first time ever playing Skyrim). Was starting off the main quest, and had just returned the Dragonstone to Falengar Secret-Fire (sp?). As you guys know, Irileth approaches and tells you guys about the dragon at the watchtower. As Farengar was saying "A dragon? Where was it? What did it look like?", I was jumping up and down in front of Irlieth to proclaim my joy at fighting a dragon, when she suddenly said "You should take this more seriously". My friends and I burst out laughing.

I was doing a genocidal spree to get the Master Criminal achievement. When I got to Whiterun, I got the ball rolling by stealing a piece of venison from one of the stalls. When the guard tried to arrest me and I chose to fight the guards were immediately swarmed by everyone in the marketplace. It was so nice to see the Gray-Manes and Battle-Borns putting aside their differences to fight side by side to defend a venison thief.

watchin girlfriend play skyrim i notice she really good with archery
how i know?
every bandit died from crotch shot

I get a bounty to go kill a dragon way up at the top of a mountain. So I go up there and shoot him with my bow and he starts flying around the mountain breathing frost at me in typical dragon fashion. Then - wham!- he flies right into the side of the mountain and gets his head stuck in a snowdrift ! He's clinging to the side of the mountain jerking back and forth trying to get unstuck and I just stand at the edge sticking arrows in his back. Easiest dragon kill yet. Only problem is, after he died he fell down the side of the cliff and I never found the body, so no dragon soul, bones etc. At least it was a bounty quest so i did get paid.

I used an unrelenting force shout on a wolf and he flew up into the air and landed in a lake! I laughed for a good 5 minutes!!!

also using that shout on spiders is pretty amusing too.

taking out grelda with a unarmed Finisher and having kids cheer you on.

I was on the road somewhere, playing hide and seek with a dragon. I see a giant off in the distance and decide to see if the giant and the dragon will face off. The dragon just flies around and the giant watches it. All of a sudden a mammoth drops out of the sky. I'm not sure what happened, I guess the dragon had it. At that point I decided I didn't want to play with either of them and took off cross country avoiding the whole situation....

Later Lydia and I got a surprise visit from Krosis. While she's shooting arrows at him and I"m gulping down resistance and healing potions, I hear her shout: "Skyrim for the NORDS!" I thought dragon-priests were nords....

For some reason, every time I walk out Windhelm's main gate, a horse drops out of the sky and dies on the bridge. I know the people at the stable complain about how boring horses are, but that's no reason to launch them out of a catapult at the city!

Apparently Bethseda has a dry sense of humor.

Was in a dungeon and I opened a door, lots of wrapped linen fell out at my feet. The room was only closet size, then I got the joke.


Oh Todd, you need to get out more.

I have two stories.

The first one I was playing the game with my roommate, and we were in a necromancer dungeon. I play a wood elf.

I came upon a necromancer and we had a bit of a tussle. The necromancer in question happened to be a wood elf as well, and quickly shouted that I was a traitor to my race. I quickly replied out loud, "That's okay though, because I'm also the awesomer bosmer." and then one-shot killed the turd.

My roommate cracked up and called me a nerd, but we laughed hysterically.

The second story is also courtesy of necromancers. Janessa gets her perv on:

We got Janessa as a follower, and she rocked by the way. Too bad she doesn't level up.

We were hunting a necromancer camp one day, and walked into this giant room in sneak mode that was very artistically well done. As anyone who has traveled with Janessa knows, she's quite the sight seer and likes to comment on the surrounding scenery.

I had just killed a necromancer, and because of the value of their robes I usually take them, especially at low level. I like to call my character the "Awesomer Bosmer; the de-pantser of the necromancer."

This particular necromancer had also fallen down on top of one of my arrows that I had farmed from the thieves guild, and I wanted it back because I was running low. I searched the dead necromancer and took her robes. I then had to move her off of my arrow. She fell with her feet stretched wide apart, right in front of Janessa. Dead, mostly naked, and spread eagle with her legs as far apart as they probably go. In that moment I also popped out of sneak mode.

When I did so, Janessa commented that, "Damn. That's quite a sight."

LOL! The falling animals are definitely my funniest moments of the game. I have the graphics settings and view distances maxed so I can see stuff way out, and every once in a while the game renders an animal about a mile in the air! The smaller animals usually survive the fall (goats, and deer) but I saw a mammoth fall from the sky last night and it died on impact, which was pretty hilarious to see. I needed the tusk for a side-quest so it was win-win for me.

I also love the random encounters walking around the countryside. Was walking out of Riften and it was a beautiful day. I ran into three guys hanging out by the lake having a great time drinking in the autumn sun. They stopped me and asked me if I wanted a beer. I figured hell, why not and had a beer with them. Though it wasn't a quest or important in any way, little things like that are what make this game so awesome. It gives it the feeling of an immersive world.

Someone must have the favor of the nine...


I ran into those guys while fleeing on horseback from a snowy sabre cat. They must not be anyone to mess with, because they killed it without incident.

Unfortunately, it was AFTER I did the Thieves Guild quest to poison Honningbrew...and that is the type of mead they gave me. I just politely took it out of side and then dropped it.

LOL! I had done the thieves guild quest too, so I just took the Honningbrew from the guy and drank a Blackbriar reserve I had with me. Those guys must be tough, the poison didn't effect them at all.

Also, I named my first character (Nord) Magnus Vermagnussen after this beast of a guy that won the world's strongest man competition a few years in a row. He wasn't an overly large guy, but he was strong as hell from running his own farm for many years. He actually broke a guy's arm in the armwrestling competition. Magnus sounded like a strong Nord name to me, so it seemed to fit my character well. Then I find there is a really important staff with my name, lol. I should have known that name would pop up in the game, it just sounds really Nord. Guess my next Nord character will be Fedor or Chuck Norris with an emphasis on hand-to-hand, lol.

In Dawnstar, I witnessed an Ancient Dragon attack. It landed a bit to the east of town and was fighting something - I was shooting it with arrows from my position inside town. Suddenly I see the silhouette of a woman in a dress doing cartwheels across the sky. After the dragon was dead, I went to take a look - it was Shadowmere that had the dragon's attention. I looked around and eventually found the corpse of the old woman who owns the Mortar & Pestle lying face down between two houses, dead as a doornail.

Imagine the ET scene, but instead of Elliot on his bike passing in front of the moon, it's a woman doing cartwheels.

there is one cave with a pair of cave bears (positioned a few meters from where you enter the cave - my heart almost stopped, but by coincidence I was sneaking upon entering so thy didn't attack). I started arrowing them from Sneak for nice bonus damage, and first mama bear succumbed and got thrown back into her living room, then papa bear followed her, and landed so perfectly on top of her, you know, on her "dorsal rear end" with both his forelegs around her sides and his head tenderly resting on her shoulders..., well it almost looked like out of a biology class school book on mating bears.
...and Lydia, who was crouching behind me while I was ...well... taking screenshots, commented like she always does in caves: "You don't see something like that every day." I know it was generic dialogue but oh so fitting...

http://i1093.photobucket.com/albums/i438/hansebi/SkyrimScreenShot5.jpg

I was doing Boethia's quest. I went up to Knifepoint Ridge, used my bow to clear the outside sight unseen, and had a dragon pass overhead. I missed with dragonrend, so I put fury on my right hand and fired it at him to make him aggro, got him to land, and killed him with my Daedric axe in my left hand, collected my goodies, then entered the cave. Cleared out the upper passage with my axe using back stab on the potion maker, then spent a little time looking at how to take down the group in larger cavern without being seen. In comes my 1 year old.....

She runs over, plowing into my lap for the toddler hug attack of the century, and smacks my right trigger on my controller. I watch in horror as fury goes through a hole in the fencing/supports and strikes one of the people below, expecting this to get ugly, and expecting to have to reload from the cave entrance. I hear the shouts and see all the red dots running around, so I pull my daughter into my lap, pull out my bow, and prepare to try to drop these fools before they see me as they come around the corner downhill. They never come. I wait a bit, and see my eye go to hidden, but the people below are still yelling...

Turns out, the guy I hit with fury was the Champion of Boethia. When he went aggro from the spell, he turned on his crew, killing them, but taking pretty massive damage. I shot him once with an arrow, and he dropped dead, the only one in the cavern I ended up actually having to fight.... Thanks baby!!!

Not sure if this is funny to anyone else other than me, but whenever I finish up an assignment for the DB...I tend to use my Dead Thrall ability to bring the corpse back with me when receiving my gold. I find it humorous <.<


I WISH I COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS

I was about to kill the bard, and I had the vampire guy following me as a thrall. I killed the bard, guard ran in trying to arrest me. Right as I said "Here's my bounty" and load screen went up, Hern decided to hit the guard causing bleeding. Now I go back to get the bard as a Thrall as well...and in the empty doorway, know what's there? The blood from the guard. Infinitely spraying out of empty space.

I *really* wish I could take pictures on my ps3 and post them here. Positioning my character on top of it makes HER appear to be peeing blood. I'm cracking up!

On my first character, I declined their invitation, believing it to be a trap. You know, they get you drunk, screen goes hazy then black. Character wakes up with no gold, items, etc.

I decided to party with them on my second character... and they just wanted to have a good time. I was pleasantly surprised.

Last night, I had just finished up testing the flame scrolls for J'Zargo. I'm not a hearty melee character by any stretch, preferring to sneak and snipe my opponents. So, I wanted a follower to tag along just in case and brought Jenassa. I gave crafted, improved and enchanted some good equiptment for her and off we went to a barrow the greybeards felt a word within. (Kill 2 birds with one stone, test the scrolls and get a word.)

Testing the scrolls was easy and she proved to be really helpful in the fight against Otar, offering to come with me for free in the future since she was having so much fun.

Since I already had her geared up, I decided to keep her with me and head off to another word wall location.

On the way there, we went by a little bandit camp and wiped them out pretty easily. A ways up the road, I see another bandit come walking down. Got off a stealth shot that nearly one hit what I thought was another bandit...but it was instead a hunter.

I put my bow away hoping to yield, but Jenassa was having none of it. (I'm not used to having a companion remember.) She shouted "Nerevar guide me!" and did a dual wield finishing move to the poor hunter that sent the hunter tumbling down the side of Ancient's Ascent.....woops.

I couldn't be mad even though I'm trying hard to kill very few non-hostiles. It was just so spontaneous and awesome.

I was walking trough Skyrim en i flyd with my horse

I took cicero to a house with me and i told him to sleep in the bed and i heard him say this with trembling voice :
"Now wait a minute listener, even i have my limits ,not really mind you , but i DO have them !"
And i was standing there all like "WTF ?!"
And my character was male .

At least you didn't tell him to get naked...

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:Crassius_Curio

Of all the things I've ever seen or done in a video game, "Uncle Crassius" is still amongst the most disturbing.

LOL !

After just having cleared the mine of spiders for the frost monkeys(commonly known as Nords) my Altmer strode out on his way to get his hard earned cash.
A random NPC commented " nothing much going here might as well move along" or something like it.
Just a split second after a dead Hagraven fell down from the mountain and flopped about on the floor...immediately followed by an ancient dragon that slaughtered half of the small settlement.

I just stood there dumbstruck. Yeah nothing to see here, move along now. LOL