[Kelly Upshall]

Well look at what you just typed, re-read what you said to her and then tell yourself to never do it again and to start a conversation with her next time even if you're as nervous as a guy with a bag full of illegal paraphernalia walking through a police station.

[Mr. Ray]

Sounds like wub to me :wub:

D'aww.


It happens, and it happens to personally quite a lot, but I find once you start the conversation the hard parts done with, next time you mess it up, just say sorry, your mind was elsewhere and keep talking, don't walk away. After about 10 seconds (if that), you'll be acting yourself again.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHekNnySAfM&feature=BFa&list=WL6B7350099257F58C&index=31&shuffle=553913

[JERMAINE VIDAURRI]

Wow I am surprised nobody said why it is. The answer is simple. You are simply infatuated with her. Smitten, or what ever other name you want to call it. I wouldn't say "Love at First Site", but you are really infatuated with her. For what ever reason, she floats your boat and nobody else at the moment. You "Just like her alot" and nothing is wrong with it.

You are only what? 22? That is still so young, you haven't "matured" yet. As much as to think you have "grown up" you haven't yet. Like come on, how many, "many relationships" you can have at a young age that really mean anything? As you said, you had many so that tells me, you either "bed hopped" from one to another (wich is not having relationships) or you just dated alot, (again that is not having many relationships) and there is nothing wrong with that. If this is the case this could be "the time for you" to start one. Maybe it's not, but this "girl" or "woman" has gotten your fancy.

Again, nothing is wrong with you. She just has "your number" so to speak. Do you like her alot? Do you keep thinking of her all the time when not at church? It could even be puppy love for you. As others have said, just ask her out. You got a crush perchance. This would explain why you are so ga-ga over her. You can't think straight when she is around, you get toungue tied .

Do you have butterflies in your stomach? If you do, you could be in for "allot of hurt" as some people would say. But that is in a good way, it's a figure of speech. .

So this hopefully answers your question as to why. Now the question is what are you going to do?

:)

[Kortniie Dumont]

Not cool. Because that threw off my swagger. My mojo meter was on E, and I hadn't phsyched myself up for it yet.

:confused: It's just normal human conversation, there's no special magic pyscho-BS needed.

I think your problem is you've spent so much time thinking about how to chat this girl up that you didn't consider that you could just talk to her like a normal human being to begin with. You were so set on your previous attitude in your head that you couldn't adjust to the unexpected situation of just talking.

snip

I love it when Davor's blustering stops long enough for him to have these prophetic moments of clarity.

[Haley Cooper]

That's normal. I was stuttering like a moron when I met my special girl. And I'm the more buff one in our relationship, too. So it's absolutely normal. You just have to learn to focus. ^_^

[Kanaoka]

At least you're able to talk! I blush, look at my feet and murmur incoherently/shrug/nod/shake my head if I'm talking to someone I like. <_<

Don't complain, your situation could be worse.

[jeremey wisor]

At least you're able to talk! I blush, look at my feet and murmur incoherently/shrug/nod/shake my head if I'm talking to someone I like. <_<

Don't complain, your situation could be worse.

Or you could be like me and swing your arms wildly when you get nervous.

[Amy Gibson]

Or you could be like me and swing your arms wildly when you get nervous.

That could be a good thing... If she's turned on by windmills.

[Krystal Wilson]

Yup, happens to me every now and then too. More time you spend with her, the more comfortable you'll get. Don't over think things, don't over anolyze her actions, and just stay cool. If you have as much swag as you suggest, you'll do fine. Hang in there, bro.

[Naazhe Perezz]

Talking about his swag, that is another reason why I think he is smitten. Before it seemed like he was always playing a game with the girls, but now it's real for him and he is lost in what to do.

:wub: As someone else said, he could be in wub.

[(G-yen)]

boasting... kidding.

I'm confused what you mean by real relationships, since as far as i'm concerned, a real relationship isn't something you have in highschool. But, that's just me.

If it's been that long since you've flirted // dated // one-night-standed a girl, then you're probably a bit rusty. That type of thing usually comes back after awhile. And if it's a girl you're really nuts about. It could be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law.

[joannARRGH]

D'aww, you've been smitten. Best just walk up to her immediately the next time you see her and JAHO her pants off. (non literally of course) You're only going to get less competent the longer you wait.

...Why not literally...?

:whistling:

[Miss K]

boasting... kidding.

I'm confused what you mean by real relationships, since as far as i'm concerned, a real relationship isn't something you have in highschool. But, that's just me.

If it's been that long since you've flirted // dated // one-night-standed a girl, then you're probably a bit rusty. That type of thing usually comes back after awhile. And if it's a girl you're really nuts about. It could be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law.

Murphy's Law. Story of my life.

Op, I wouldn't worry about getting nervous around the ladies, I'm sure she gets nervous around guys she likes as well. It's not much of a big deal.

[Monique Cameron]

...Why not literally...?

:whistling:

Don't you think it might be a bit of a scene to ask a girl out by taking her pants off at a church? I mean, you might get a nice view but it's not exactly a church activity. :tongue:

(JAHO'ing her pants off is for when you got her alone)

[josh evans]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/5/8/eca63278-112f-4f92-a42c-9a68b5231463.jpg

This "situation", and why I'm "strung up" will basically take a lot of background, so I'll try to explain it in as few words as possible.

Basically, I'm 22 years old. Graduated high school in 2007. Was very popular. I had a huge amount of friends in HS, I was on the football team, I had a lot of girlfriends. Pretty much what you'd consider a "popular jock". *please, do not post about how I'm boasting, because that's simply not the case.

IE, I have a lot of experience with girls. I really do. I've had multiple "real" relationships, and I've never really been shy around anyone. Even today, I am not really that shy. Not towards other guys, anyway. I guess I've been "out of the game" for so long. Alone, as it were, relationship wise. I've been single a long time, but that has never had anything to do with my shyness, because I haven't been shy since then.

...but all of that was 4 years ago. That's a long time to be single and not "mingle" as it were because you were busy doing other things. Have I..lost my touch? It feels that way.

Because this one girl. <_<
She goes to my church. I've been going to this church for a while now, and I'm friends with a lot of people there. It's a relatively small church, about 200 or so members. (By the way, just please keep all discussion of religion out of this. This is not a thread about religion, I'm just giving context as to where this happens.)

So basically we see each other 3 times a week at church, and every single time, our eyes meet, and I just don't know. I get this feeling, like an urge or something, rushing through me. And it's like, I feel corny saying this crap because wtf man, I've been in many relationships before and I've been with girls before, I have never had any problems before talking to woman. She's 20 by the way. 2 years younger. And God she's so beautiful.

But yeah. So today at church, after having thought about this for the last week, and what to say, and I had all this crap planned out to say to her, SHE WALKS UP TO ME and shakes my hand. Not cool. Because that threw off my swagger. My mojo meter was on E, and I hadn't phsyched myself up for it yet. So it caught me off guard.
She walks towards me, I get this panic all through my body, she reaches out her hand and says "hey " (yes there was a smiley face irl, it was magic) and what do I say?
".....uhhhh, what's..up"
WHAT'S
UP?

WAS IS THIS? A;LSDFJAL;SDFJL;ASDJFL;AJKSD;FLJK

I completely bombed. And the thing is, that's not the first time that has happened. WHY do I have a hard time talking to this girl when I have never had any problem talking to a woman in my entire life. I used to be known as a genuine sweet talker, legit. Now I can't muster up any intelligent words to say to this woman. I can talk to anyone, sing on stage, give speeches, but when this woman looks me in the eyes, I completely freeze. I can't even THINK. :facepalm: And the worst part is, when she says hi to everyone else, it's a shrug off the shoulder kind of hi. Like, you know when someone is walking by you and you just nod, like "sup", that sort of thing. She looked dead into my soul. :blink: She stared me right between the eyes with those gorgeous brown eyes and I said what's. Up.

Is it because..that was high school, IE "girls" and not a woman? How do you go from the transition to talking to "girls" to "woman"? Is there a transition? God I'm so lame.

I hate to sound mean but you don′t sound like the kind of guy who′s ever cared about any single one of the girls he′s been with. And what makes you think you will stick around that one in particular any more than the others ? Especially considering you feel it′s enough just to have looked her in the eyes + seen here a few times, and said hi to her one one occasion to start a relationship with her.

If you′re just looking for a one night stand with her you should probably try to find out if she′s the kind of personality that is liable to have those or not. As for what happens after you find out, well I think that may differ on what kind of a personality she is. In any-case, good luck.

[Jade Muggeridge]

I completely bombed. And the thing is, that's not the first time that has happened. WHY do I have a hard time talking to this girl when I have never had any problem talking to a woman in my entire life.

It's always easy to talk to them when you feel nothing for them.

[kirsty williams]

Well honestly, you can either ask her out or not. If she came up to you she obviously likes you, and maybe you blew it, but its still worth going up to her, introduce yourself, talk for a bit then ask her to coffee.

[Emily Jones]

Well the reason you're acting this way is simply that you're in love. You're enamored with the person you're staring at and there's nothing wrong with that. Liking someone strongly at fight sight is a beautiful thing. But you can't forget something really important: Just because you are in love with someone at first sight doesn't mean they feel the same for you automatically.

You gotta find out how she feels by talking to her. Don't be discouraged though. Since she came out to shake your hand, it shows she's not totally indifferent to you. Since you both share something in common by going to the same church, you can approach her a lot more naturally.

Right now you're probably just "That person who I see at church a lot", and what you're gonna have to try to do is shift that to "that guy who is fun to be around/really nice/interesting/took me out to that nice place/bla bla bla" so try to talk to her and invite her someplace and be calm and natural.

The main thing that's messing you up right now is you overthinking stuff and panicking due to your strong attraction. For the most part it doesn't matter how attracted a guy is to a female, (we can fall in love with 5 different women while walking down the street) what matters most is how attracted she is to you. So just work on being calm, changing your image in her mind, and doing your best. Leave room for disappointment though, because she might have a lot of other factors that might prevent you getting as close as you want in the outset...but try your best and don't worry regardless of the outcome. Hope that helps! Good luck!

P.S. A lot of factors can affect relationships or attractions at different stages in your life. When we grow up we lose a lot of the "ease of living" from childhood, so yeah advlt love can be more difficult in a way, but it can be the same if you have the same mindset as you used to. It really just depends on your own outlook on it.

P.S.S. Have more confidence. If you had a lot of confidence growing up, its something you can have again. Nothing that was a part of us is every really gone. Find it again, put your best foot forward and do your best!

[Samantha Wood]

My god..
You see it three times a week and you don't get the idea to go stand or sit next to her and ask her if she wants to go out with you?

[Victoria Bartel]

My god..
You see it three times a week and you don't get the idea to go stand or sit next to her and ask her if she wants to go out with you?

It's the wub, hard to approach a girl when you're in :wub:.

[Rudi Carter]

My god..
You see it three times a week and you don't get the idea to go stand or sit next to her and ask her if she wants to go out with you?

:rofl:

[dell]

So wait, you came here for help......moving on.

find some common ground with her something you feel you can talk about without buggering it up.
Remember all women love confidence so try not to stutter and if you think your about to botch it remember the worst that can happen is an awkward moment, which if you know how to do it can be turned into a comedic lead up.

In short just ask her out, work up your nerves walk up to her and just do it. the only things we truly regret are the chances we didn't take and the things we never said.

[Leonie Connor]

I hate to sound mean but you don′t sound like the kind of guy who′s ever cared about any single one of the girls he′s been with. And what makes you think you will stick around that one in particular any more than the others ? Especially considering you feel it′s enough just to have looked her in the eyes + seen here a few times, and said hi to her one one occasion to start a relationship with her.

If you′re just looking for a one night stand with her you should probably try to find out if she′s the kind of personality that is liable to have those or not. As for what happens after you find out, well I think that may differ on what kind of a personality she is. In any-case, good luck.

Well, that's the thing, I'm definitely not looking for a one night stand type of thing. I actually get the urge to..listen to her..and to know how she feels. :blink:
It's not like I just want to take her out for one night, I want to forge a relationship, friendship at first, and then go from there. But I just lock up completely when she comes around me.

[Shannon Lockwood]

Just ask her out.

Just confess your feelings for her and all will be forgiven.

Had to, since there's the church theme, HAR HAR.

In all seriousness though, just talk to her. :shrug:

[Chris Cross Cabaret Man]

It's the wub, hard to approach a girl when you're in :wub:.

Well, that's the thing, I'm definitely not looking for a one night stand type of thing. I actually get the urge to..listen to her..and to know how she feels. :blink:
It's not like I just want to take her out for one night, I want to forge a relationship, friendship at first, and then go from there. But I just lock up completely when she comes around me.

:wub: Yes it's wub. You want to forge a realtionship with her. I am not saying it's love but you are starting to mature where you want an actual relationship, be it a good friend, or boy friend/girl friend and then take it from there.

This is perfectly fine, nothing to worry about. Go ask her name and get to know her.