[maria Dwyer]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/5/8/eca63278-112f-4f92-a42c-9a68b5231463.jpg

This "situation", and why I'm "strung up" will basically take a lot of background, so I'll try to explain it in as few words as possible.

Basically, I'm 22 years old. Graduated high school in 2007. Was very popular. I had a huge amount of friends in HS, I was on the football team, I had a lot of girlfriends. Pretty much what you'd consider a "popular jock". *please, do not post about how I'm boasting, because that's simply not the case.

IE, I have a lot of experience with girls. I really do. I've had multiple "real" relationships, and I've never really been shy around anyone. Even today, I am not really that shy. Not towards other guys, anyway. I guess I've been "out of the game" for so long. Alone, as it were, relationship wise. I've been single a long time, but that has never had anything to do with my shyness, because I haven't been shy since then.

...but all of that was 4 years ago. That's a long time to be single and not "mingle" as it were because you were busy doing other things. Have I..lost my touch? It feels that way.

Because this one girl. <_<
She goes to my church. I've been going to this church for a while now, and I'm friends with a lot of people there. It's a relatively small church, about 200 or so members. (By the way, just please keep all discussion of religion out of this. This is not a thread about religion, I'm just giving context as to where this happens.)

So basically we see each other 3 times a week at church, and every single time, our eyes meet, and I just don't know. I get this feeling, like an urge or something, rushing through me. And it's like, I feel corny saying this crap because wtf man, I've been in many relationships before and I've been with girls before, I have never had any problems before talking to woman. She's 20 by the way. 2 years younger. And God she's so beautiful.

But yeah. So today at church, after having thought about this for the last week, and what to say, and I had all this crap planned out to say to her, SHE WALKS UP TO ME and shakes my hand. Not cool. Because that threw off my swagger. My mojo meter was on E, and I hadn't phsyched myself up for it yet. So it caught me off guard.
She walks towards me, I get this panic all through my body, she reaches out her hand and says "hey " (yes there was a smiley face irl, it was magic) and what do I say?
".....uhhhh, what's..up"
WHAT'S
UP?

WAS IS THIS? A;LSDFJAL;SDFJL;ASDJFL;AJKSD;FLJK

I completely bombed. And the thing is, that's not the first time that has happened. WHY do I have a hard time talking to this girl when I have never had any problem talking to a woman in my entire life. I used to be known as a genuine sweet talker, legit. Now I can't muster up any intelligent words to say to this woman. I can talk to anyone, sing on stage, give speeches, but when this woman looks me in the eyes, I completely freeze. I can't even THINK. :facepalm: And the worst part is, when she says hi to everyone else, it's a shrug off the shoulder kind of hi. Like, you know when someone is walking by you and you just nod, like "sup", that sort of thing. She looked dead into my soul. :blink: She stared me right between the eyes with those gorgeous brown eyes and I said what's. Up.

Is it because..that was high school, IE "girls" and not a woman? How do you go from the transition to talking to "girls" to "woman"? Is there a transition? God I'm so lame.

[Nicholas]

As you talk to someone you like your tongue will constrain and you say stupid STUPID stuff

like i asked a girl if she had any tittles

...i was asking if she any is in her name

[michael danso]

Just ask her out.

[flora]

Just ask her out.

Was waiting for it. Too bad that wasn't the first reply.

[Gemma Woods Illustration]

Was waiting for it. Too bad that wasn't the first reply.

hey mine was close enough

[Roberto Gaeta]

JAHO, no I did not read the OP.

[Marilú]

Just come up to her next time you see her, be like, "Sorry if I was a bit awkward the other day. Was thinking about other nonsense and you threw me a bit off. Anyways, my name is ____" or something. Awkwardness can lead to fun times once you get through it.

[Monika Fiolek]

Is it because..that was high school, IE "girls" and not a woman? How do you go from the transition to talking to "girls" to "woman"?

hit it right on the head there. I was going to say that if you didn't mention it. Maybe the case is, all the high school girls you dated were just silly, little giggly (the worst kind), bubble heads. Now you have met a girl with more... intelligence, and maturity, knows where she wants to go in her life, and has better features :hubbahubba:. Talking to a mature and intelectual girl is such a treat, but it is hard at the same time. You just got to learn to adapt.

[mike]

Was waiting for it. Too bad that wasn't the first reply.

It should be added to the forum rules. 1st post in these threads must be a JAHO or else its a perma-ban.

OP: I've got nothing to add except to say that I've shared your pain in poor conversation skills with women. Several times girls would surprise me by saying "hi" or whatever in high school and I'd be floored. They'd say "hi" and I'd answer "Not bad, you?"....

[Fanny Rouyé]

go up to her and say "Hey baby your cans transfixed me"
or
roses are red
violets are blue
i must eat yoghourt off of you

[Alan Whiston]

It should be added to the forum rules. 1st post in these threads must be a JAHO or else its a perma-ban.

OP: I've got nothing to add except to say that I've shared your pain in poor conversation skills with women. Several times girls would surprise me by saying "hi" or whatever in high school and I'd be floored. They'd say "hi" and I'd answer "Not bad, you?"....

Dude yes, omg. That happened LAST week at church.

She said "Hey" to me and I said "..pretty good" and just walked away.
UH WHAT. That's not even a response to the statement she made. :facepalm: I felt like an idiot. It's just as soon as she talks to me, I completely melt down.
But the thing is, NO OTHER GIRL in my LIFE has ever done this to me. And like I said, I had a lot of girlfriends in high school. I just do not understand why she breaks me down like this.

[+++CAZZY]

OP: I've got nothing to add except to say that I've shared your pain in poor conversation skills with women. Several times girls would surprise me by saying "hi" or whatever in high school and I'd be floored. They'd say "hi" and I'd answer "Not bad, you?"....

Hahaha, I've done the exact same thing. This one shop assistant who I used to see a lot, I went into buy something I probably didn't need, she was all "Hey, long time no see!", and I was like "Yeah.... haha, *mumble mumble* cool!".
Then I got my debit card out, and I sort of bent it in my hand, and and it sprung out of my hand and flew over the counter... :shakehead:

[Ruben Bernal]

go up to her and say "Hey baby your cans transfixed me"
or
roses are red
violets are blue
i must eat yoghourt off of you

You must be a maple tree because I'd tap that.

Dude yes, omg. That happened LAST week at church.

She said "Hey" to me and I said "..pretty good" and just walked away.
UH WHAT. That's not even a response to the statement she made. :facepalm: I felt like an idiot. It's just as soon as she talks to me, I completely melt down.
But the thing is, NO OTHER GIRL in my LIFE has ever done this to me. And like I said, I had a lot of girlfriends in high school. I just do not understand why she breaks me down like this.

Mmmmhmmmm, it's incredibly embarrassing. I'm fine if I have several minutes to prepare a speech, but when they just jump out at you like that... *shudders*

Best advice I can give is, now that you know she says hi to you and such, always be preparing to give an answer to her. Sit at home in your room, imagining her saying hi then give an appropriate response out loud. do the same for a number of different greetings she might give you.

Hahaha, I've done the exact same thing. This one shop assistant who I used to see a lot, I went into buy something I probably didn't need, she was all "Hey, long time no see!", and I was like "Yeah.... haha, *mumble mumble* cool!".
Then I got my debit card out, and I sort of bent it in my hand, and and it sprung out of my hand and flew over the counter... :shakehead:

Oh, the debit card is what made that really bad. mumbled responses are one thing, but that... I'm sorry man

[Darlene DIllow]

Several times girls would surprise me by saying "hi" or whatever in high school and I'd be floored. They'd say "hi" and I'd answer "Not bad, you?"....

bah those "crap. you idiot" moments... I remember a really pretty girl came up to me in high school and she said "hey you sit next to me in health!" and all I did was laugh hysterically... Not my proudest moment.

go up to her and say "Hey baby your cans transfixed me" or roses are red violets are blue i must eat yoghourt off of you

um.... :blink: ya... that would be... great. IF you wanted to get slapped, or mauled, or beaten, or get a restraining order put on you, or have her big daddy come up and pound on you for a bit... or even worse.... rejected...

[Shannon Lockwood]

Oh man, the bad experiences posted in this thread have given me a really good laugh.

I'm so glad I'm the total opposite. I used to have class with this amazingly cute guy, and once I got put with him to do some kind of poetry review or some dumb crap. We ended up having a good old yarn. My friend also had the hots for him, and was jealous that I could talk to him so easily. After he gave me a hug on 'hug a vegetarian day' she stepped it up a notch by trying to embarrass me around him, at one point even mentioning that my hair was the same godawful colour as the curtains. Me and Hot Guy had a good laugh about it and he carried on talking to me, she was so mad.

Pointless aside, aside, do what Blackhand said. Chances are she might think you're a bit socially awkward by now, so if you want to up your chances, initiate the conversation on your terms. Might lead on to a good conversation where you can get to know her a bit more as well, which is always handy when planning the first date

[Hannah Whitlock]

She goes to my church.

and every single time, our eyes meet, and I just don't know. I get this feeling,

God I'm so lame.

Hahahhaa... ahem.. anyways...
They are called emotions. They are normal and healthy.
If your religion tells you otherwise, that's too bad, because you should follow your heart.\


I dont care how old you are, you need to do some growing up before making any move.

[Alex Blacke]

Hahahhaa... ahem.. anyways...
They are called emotions. They are normal and healthy.
If your religion tells you otherwise, that's too bad, because you should follow your heart.\


I dont care how old you are, you need to do some growing up before making any move.

Erm, I really don't know what religion has to do with this lol. Christianity doesn't teach you that you can't date woman lol. :shrug:

[Robert Jr]

Sorry, it's just that you mentioned "church" so many times... perhaps I spoke without thinking.

But, if you have these kinds of questions about girls, well... perhaps you're not ready for a relationship with her. When you are ready, you won't need to ask these questions on a video game forum.

[Marie Maillos]

Sorry, it's just that you mentioned "church" so many times... perhaps I spoke without thinking.

But, if you have these kinds of questions about girls, well... perhaps you're not ready for a relationship with her. When you are ready, you won't need to ask these questions on a video game forum.

Nothing wrong with coming here to get a bit of advice and some reassurance. It's cheaper than a councellor and you're less likely to get laughed at than if you tried to talk about it with your friends.

[Casey]

heres a good pick up line
wanna drink some of my blood and eat my flesh?

sorry im drunk

[James Shaw]

You know, people never really grow up, they just learn to pretend to. Inside that woman is a girl waiting to be entertained and have fun with you.

I read the OP and I don't really see a problem. Alright so you're a bit nervous but that shouldn't stop you. She can probably tell that you like her and my guess is she thinks it's cute.

So how about you you tell her that she seems pretty awesome and isn't someone who's afraid of a little adventure now and then, and then invite her out and do some fun stuff together?

edit: the time when she walked up to you, said hi and you just gave a quick response and walked away? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it's better to seem a little uninterested at first. Playing hard to get you know? Remember, you handsome stud, you're the prize

[Dean Ashcroft]

Next time you see her just go up to her and say "Sorry if I seemed a little off when we spoke last time, I was having a bad day", or something like that. Make a little joke out of it, if you can make her laugh you're halfway there.

Seeing all this happened in a church, just keep your fingers crossed she believes in six before marriage :hehe:

[luke trodden]

Hi Shin

You know what I'm gonna say, don't you? :hubbahubba:

Good, then I'll just shut up, as per your request B)

[LittleMiss]

I honestly think that she would think you're cute. Awkward guys are gorgeous Now I would strike up a conversation with her like the others have been saying, trying to explain why you tripped over your words a bit. I don't really have much else to add, but good luck!

[JaNnatul Naimah]

D'aww, you've been smitten. Best just walk up to her immediately the next time you see her and JAHO her pants off. (non literally of course) You're only going to get less competent the longer you wait.