The only way to shape your character in this game is to deny quests you don't want to do.
Go into your menu. Go up to Skills. Select Perks. Right there, you just shaped your character <- FACT. Whether you want to believe it or not.
You pick what you want your character to look like at the beginning. You pick a name, too. Throughout the game, you have used weapons or spells or armor that you choose. When you level up, you choose what to increase, regardless of whether or not use use the perks, you still improve either Magicka, Health, or Stamina. Every one of these points is a point that supports the fact (fact!) that you do, indeed, have multiple ways of shaping your character.
So, what's the logic behind your statement right up there? The one I quoted. I'm curious.