"Pick any locks in Whiterun, Dovahkiin, Dragonborn, savior of the world, winner of the war, bad ass mofo... and there's gonna be trouble!"

That's odd ... same thing happens to
Sigur :"I work for Belethor, at the general goods aaaaaargh" Yes I'll pay the fine..

Dovahkiin, don't thrust you groin towards me. Please don't. NOOOOOOO!

Every single time

I really miss the guards in Oblivion yelling 'Why won't you die!'

My Dunmer get called 'Kinsman' all the time by him.

Dont go burning down any buildings now

As an altmer, I've heard "well met" quite a bit from the Nord shopkeeper in Falkreath, as his bigoted brother behind me says "I can't believe we let provincials like you wander Skyrim". Then the shopkeep tells me how sorry I'll be if I steal anything from his shop.

I did end up sniping his brother into an early grave. Stepping out of the shop is the biggest mistake he ever made.

LOL!

I hear 'Well-met, Kinsman.' quite a bit. Greetings tend to be dependent on where I am, I've noticed. When I'm in Riften people just tell me to stay away from their pockets, when I'm in Whiterun people gape at me and ask if I'm the new Harbinger, etc.

"So you can cast a few spells. Am I supposed to be impressed?"
Few seconds later: "So you're the one who casts those illusions. Impressive!"

I should bash your face in for what you've done

this. ??

-.-.... of all things, I thought you'd never stoop so low and say this. Doesn't even sound right coming from you.

My favorite is in Baldur's Gate, this nooblet kept following me around saying "Heya!", "heya!", etcs. It was driving me crazy and had to put him down!

Personally, I like the Guards who say:

"So you prefer a bow, ehh? Me too." As he's got a warhammer slung on his back...

or

They'll do their whisper-shout of "Psst, hey! I know who you are... Hail Sithis!" Right when there's ten or better people walking by in Whiterun's Market... moron.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35TbGjt-weA

I have the same problem with Tsavani in our house, but I'm going to try adding her to faction WiNoGreetingFaction and see.

It works for me with guard having sword, he says that I prefer bow and that he is swordsman himself.

I like how if you play a khajiit, he says "Welcome my Khajiit friend." When I was playing a Khajiit, he was the only furless one I did business with in the hold.

Instant death sentence as far as I'm concerned!! Weather or not that guard is in the back pocket of the brotherhood, YOU DON'T ADVERTISE IT!!!!!!!
so I shut him/her up as fast as possible. " Loose lips sinks ships "

On the flip side of this, I had a Khajiit that I was playing and I had to take the horse and cart to somewhere. As I climbed in back, the driver says:

"Ever seen one of those cat-people? Ka-jit I think they call themselves. Heard there's whole countries full of them down south."

I always imagined my Khajiit Assassin looked at him, slowly cocked his head to the side and said; "Look at me again, but very carefully this time, [censored]."




Exactly.

I've never been so quick to kill a guard in all my life.

I don't care if you are in good with the Dread Father. In my line of work, secrecy is kind of paramount... and I don't need morons blowing my cover wide open.

So usually, it plays out like:

Guard: "Psst, hey! I know who you are..."

Me: *slices throat with dagger* or *-twang- as arrow hits his throat*

Guard #2: "Halt, you've committed crimes agai-"

Me: "Yes, I'd like to pay my fine now."

same here, Tharkun was very insulted by that comment.
I like the " Got to thinking, maybe I'm the dragon born ", always gets a chuckle and a remark out of me every time I hear a guard say it, along the lines of .... Go to shearpoint and test you theroy, let me know how it pans out

lol

I love that line.

Then I ad-lib it: "I used to be the Dragonborn, then I took an arrow to the knee."

Another good one is " if I catch your hand in my pocket, I'll cut it off " I always instantly pick pocket them and drop the item in front of em and wait for my hand to get cut off but I'm an evil son of a [censored]

Just for irony, I like to infiltrate their HQ and feed off of the Vigilants of Stendarr whist they sleep peacefully.

You tried mercenary work? It might suit you.


Argh, the amount of times I've heard that line. He says it everytime I meet him without fail. I might try out mercenary work on him someday.