Why there are no female Falmers? : V - Skyrim

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:21 am

They lock their women away so dragonborns don't come in and murder them.

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 1:50 am

Gimli, LOL!

It's the beard...

Yay! Someone got the reference! :bunny:

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:05 am

They use black magic so the women might be breeders/builders and men fighters, or they might have a queen of some sort.
magnets are possibly involved

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:10 am

I assumed they did... you know... things... bad things to the Chaurus Reapers :frog:

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:34 am

I can't find a large difference between a male chimpanzee and a female chimpanzee.

Goddamned racist. How dare you compare underground elves, aka Falmer, as Chimpanzees!

» Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:53 pm

There are only two possibilities. The falmer and giants do look that much alike... or they multiply asixually. I'm much more certain it's the first possiblity.

» Fri Jun 15, 2012 9:32 pm

I can't find a large difference between a male chimpanzee and a female chimpanzee.

Good point.

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:54 am

Maybe the females are queens like an ant hill or something and they are actually still very beautiful but stay hidden away with their insanity while they push outwords trying to destroy all that is above.

» Fri Jun 15, 2012 11:45 pm

Now THERE'S an idea for DLC - introduce Female falmer, and make them drop dead gorgeous. :cool:

Me: Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror: Tis' the Women of the twisted and hateful subterranean Falmer race who is the fairest in the land.
Me: ......ffffuuuu!

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:43 am

The fastest ?

» Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:16 pm

you all have it wrong, the falmer are like a colony of bees, the females rule while the males are kept as six slaves. poor bastards.

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:11 am

you all have it wrong, the falmer are like a colony of bees, the females rule while the males are kept as six slaves. poor bastards.

Yeah but you haven't seen the Falmer females. 8 foot tall and uglier than an ogre, they really are unfortunate.

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:55 am

The reason why there are no female Falmers is probably that they abduct women from the surface and reproduce with them. Of course nothing like those guys from the hills have eyes. Nope, Falmer like to court their women. Especially the large firm Nords. They cook Chaurus eggs in the morning and sing. Mind you, it's a bit different from human music, but most women have learned to appreciate it in time. Because of their bad eyes though, they've become extremely skillful with their grabby hands. Women all over Nirn dream of being abducted by these falmer gentlemen. It is the ultimate love experience.

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:28 am

The reason why there are no female Falmers is probably that they abduct women from the surface and reproduce with them. Of course nothing like those guys from the hills have eyes. Nope, Falmer like to court their women. Especially the large firm Nords. They cook Chaurus eggs in the morning and sing. Mind you, it's a bit different from human music, but most women have learned to appreciate it in time. Because of their bad eyes though, they've become extremely skillful with their grabby hands. Women all over Nirn dream of being abducted by these falmer gentlemen. It is the ultimate love experience.

LOL It took me about midway through to realise you weren't serious xD

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:05 am

Would they be called Femlars then?

» Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:05 am

LOL It took me about midway through to realise you weren't serious xD

It's how I like to fool people :-)