Honestly, I wasn't expecting a wet ball of fur, smelling of puke, to try and attack my face. Scared the hell outta me..

you were visiting 'ollywood maybe?

I don't drink. I practically radiate innocence.

I only drink Vodka Red Bull so I usually die before getting wild.

Oh yeah... That's totally the impression I get..

Seriously? You can stop at one? ...?



No I'm horrible girlfriend material. Incredibly loyal but very distant. Last time I went out with a boy I really hurt him by jokingly saying that I wouldnt be able to see him much the following week as a new game I'd been waiting for was coming out. That started the whole "oh you like games more than me/ No I just have other activities and we're NOT actually joined at the hip" argument that ended, well, everything.
And yes you're right, women are maddening, fickle, confusing, fascinating creatures.



Back on topic, Who's having a Moscow Mule tonight?!

On my 21st my friend brought me to bar for my birthday present. We started out with a pitcher of beer. We went through three pitchers. Between every pitcher he bought me a double shot, it was mountain dew vodka. That was a night full of debauchery.

Wet the bed.

I can stop at one.

I just choose not too.


I sure am! Wait, you mean the drink?



If that's the only thing you've ever pissed on drunk, you're doing well.

The AA told me the same thing. But I'm afraid I'm too old for fairytales.

A friend of mine once ended up with a park bench with "Lone Spinner" carved into it. It's the worst drunken souvenir that I've ever seen and it was long celebrated for that very reason.

Some guy's leg?

Was he in your bed?

Standing on the hood of a cop car, against the windshield?



Not me mind you, I saw it on New years eve in Amsterdam, yonkers ago.

I have quite a few friends who regularly wet the bed and worse when they're really pissed. I've been lucky so far.

I awoke 15 minutes before reveille passed out on the parade field in front of http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4a/Iron_mike.fort_benning.jpg while assigned to Ft. Benning.

Thankfully so... As the FOD sounded the new day with a cannon ten yards from my intoxicated slumber. To this day I have no idea as to how I ended up in that position. I mean I have no idea beyond and after the bottle of Jack.

Another time I awoke on a balcony with my pants around my ankles after a party.

Needless to say I don't drink like this anymore.

And worse?

I'm guessing you don't let them crash at yours too often?

I threw up. I got a hangover.

Are we telling service stories?

okay then..



there was a platoon of deeply intoxicated marines whom descended on the magical kingdom in Anaheim one spring weekend (it was my birthday, which means at the end of the day this entire story ended up square on the shoulders of yours truly), staying at the Disneyland hotel we got through the Saturday reasonable well, although one guy puked on the Matterhorn ride, and another in the 20.000 leagues under the sea ride.

We also managed to clean out the shooting gallery stand in Western world, in the end just giving away massive stuffed mickey mouse toys to any females walking past, with or without BF's attached..

..and almost getting into a few fist fights with a bunch of guys who didn't appreciate their significant other getting huge stuffed toys from drunk jarheads.

that evening was a mess... literally I can't recall what happened, but we weren't allowed back in the park the next day, and were asked politely, yet firmly, to leave.

Since it was a family attraction park and all...

Bum gravy would be worse.

Well it wasn't my bed that I wet. It was my mate's brothers...

Did he have a cat or dog? You could have blamed it on them.

Too much urine for that

What about a cat and a dog?

...Why didn't I think of that?

The mind of a hungover man does not think in terms of logic.

I don't know what my most embarrasing would be but I remember once standing at the top of the stairs and yelling down, "Everyone, I am [censored]!"

[Censored] being the F word for homosixuals, aka a small bundle of sticks.