Hey hey,

I met this girl Friday night at the pub. She's incredibly beautiful, and a major geek too...not a common combination, although certainly not as uncommon as it used to be! We talked about pretty much everything, including games...and she's not a casual gamer either (alot of 'girl gamers' just play CoD and assume they're geeks!). Long story short, she's incredible. We hit it off almost immediately, and things were going great. Then her boyfriend walked in...

I know the guy, but I wouldn't consider him a friend...they didn't seem very tactile, and she didn't seem over the moon to see him. The girl, however, I'd never met before in my life, but there was this instant connection that I haven't felt since I met my ex 5yrs ago...

I'm not head over heels in love with her or anything, but I can certainly see myself being happy with her. But she's moving to Essix in a couple of weeks time, and we've only really just met...needless to say, when she told me, I was devastated

Here's my question...do I:

A - Leave it alone. Accept that she's leaving, with a boyfriend, and just forget about her.

B - Tell her how I feel. I've mulled it over in my head, and I think I could do it in a way that wouldn't make her feel awkward at all.

C - Kidnap her from the Opera wearing a creepy mask.

Thing is, I get on with girls much better than I do with guys...around 70% of my friends are girls, and as such it's kinda difficult to find an available girl around here (these aren't all girls I've been friend-zoned by, I just prefer hanging out with girls), bearing in mind that I live in a pretty small town with little-to-no nightlife.

I've let girls get away before, and my biggest regret has been not telling them how I feel. I've been single for 2yrs now, and finally gotten over my ex, so I'm looking to find someone again! However, I'm not sure whether or not it'd be appropriate for me to say anything?

I'm just not sure what to do, and any input would be greatly appreciated. Maybe you've been in the same situation, and resolved it in a different way to the 3 listed above? Or maybe you're in the same situation right now and are looking for some advice too...

Thanks in advance,
Racoon

JAHO
Tell her your feelings bro.

She has a boyfriend, if you have respect for her, be friends or leave it alone. It also gives you time to learn more about this person rather than think you've got it down already with who she really is.

Meh, there's nothing wrong with asking someone out if they're involved with someone else but not married or engaged yet. Go for it.


I can agree with this sentiment. You've got a crush. Chances are that if you learn more about her, you'll not be nearly as attracted to her as you are now. You're filling in the blanks for yourself right now, and that means you get to turn her into whatever it is you want her to be, in your mind.

Ask her out on a date. If she says yes, you get to find out more about her and decide whether you're still interested.

She has a boyfriend. Not cool. Even if you can reconcile stealing her from him you've got to deal with any possible repercussions.

My advice is to leave her well alone for every involved party's sake.

Especially when it's your girlfriend being asked out. Go for it.

And if she bites, what would it say about keeping him around should someone else ask her out? Whoops?

Yeah, not a good idea.

A - Leave it alone. Accept that she's leaving, with a boyfriend, and just forget about her.

She has a BF, doing anything would be a dike move imo. Just find someone else.

Good idea. If she isn't interested enough in me to stick around when some other guy comes sniffing, then she wasn't worth having around in the first place. I'd rather know ASAP than be under the impression she's more interested in me than she actually is. By all means, please ask my gf out.

"In the first place" denotes Monday Morning Quarterbacking, alas, you don't get to go back in time to the "first place" and change wasting your time. As far as ASAP goes, not usually at your utmost convenience either. But what's the point in asking a person out knowing they'd ditch someone they're already with? It's pretty dumb and begging for the same thing to happen. No point in wasting time when chances are better elsewhere.

I have no idea what you've written here.


A lot of people are in relationships just because they're bored; or because they were illusioned as to who they were dating; or because they are dating someone who they used to like before that person changed; or... You could be catching her as she's getting ready to leave. Simple.

Being someone's gf/bf isn't a binding contract or some lifelong commitment. If you want to go out with someone in such a circumstance, JATO.

leave it, you don't know her. it pisses me off when people who have just met someone go on about how much they like them.

Ask for her facebook or number and then let her leave.

Well that changes everything.. wait, no, it doesn't change anything.

Being someone's gf/bf also doesn't need to be some nonsensical drama mess that things may turn into if he asks out a woman with a boyfriend, never mind consideration of how it may impact him if he's serious (which evidently you don't believe it will be, your prerogative), if you're bored enough to get into these type of situations, go for it, for most others, this is terrible advice and an invitation for far more bad than good.

This is it.

Don't know why asking someone out would necessitate melodrama, and why asking someone out who may not be in a committed relationship is off limits, but all right, whatever, etc.

Yeah I dunno why it would either, since so many guys take well someone asking their girlfriend out. Silly drama.

Go for it man! What could possibly happen?

How would you feel if your girlfriend was asked out by a virtual stranger who doesn't really know her at all? If the answer is [censored], don't be a hypocrite and do it yourself...

Leave it be. You would be a massive dike if you followed Oof's advice.

If she already has a boy friend just leave it, of course you can(not saying you should) still talk to her if you meat her on the street, but don't ask her out and don't start hanging around with her. if she is available again you will hear soon enough.

Why would you feel badly about someone asking out someone you're dating? I don't understand.


It's only massively dike-ish if she's in a committed relationship with the guy. That may well not be the case.

Just because there is a goalie doesn't mean you cannot score...lol jk to some extent.

There is nothing wrong with letting a person in another relationship know you are interested in them. If that person is willing to cheat on their partner then you have learned something and can avoid them. If they are willing to leave the person they are with than obviously that relationship was not strong in the first place. You don't have to ask them out either. People here seem kind of dramatic sometimes and seem like they have been in insecure relationships. You can just stay in contact with the girl and see where it goes from there. If she is with the guy and it is a strong relationship nothing you will do will change that. A little competition is good for a guy with a girl anyways. It reminds him not to take the girl for granted. Same with girls and their bf.

If the girl is beautiful she is probably used to getting asked out with or without a bf anyways. Just let her know you like her and keep in touch. Say it subtlety though. Not outright. Could always say something like "I guess I shouldn't be surprised a cool girl like you has a boyfriend huh? Well if you don't mind I wouldnt mind having another chat sometime. Take care!" or some crap like that.

Great minds... ! And fools... Thanks for chipping in.

Trying to court someone who is already in a relationship is a no-win game.

Don't see what you've got to lose, so my advice is to just as her out. If they love each other enough (her and her current boyfriend) then they have little to lose either.