my neighbor across the road she was a pill head, she was just addicted, im generally nice, i was to her when she first moved in but then she stole from me, and another neighbor. I'm not the type to press charges but i turned mean to her,last week she saved my my new puppy of 5 months life and i was mean to her....then today i come home with my groceries, i come to my open door a second time her husband is standing there screaming, shes dead shes dead,i am certified in cpr i went to check and she was long gone
and i feel really bad. I never got to say sorry, i was planning on it but we never talked. She did 1 thing wrong to me and i was just brutally mean to her

is it wrong to feel like absolute crap because of what happened, or should i

Well, it sounds wrong of me to say it, but yea you should feel like crap for being mean to her.

But, what exactly did you do that was mean? We could use that to evaluate your douchiness.

It's horrible. You said heroin or opiate addicts deserved to be shot yesterday in the "rule the world" thread. I like most of your threads, but that was just an unacceptable thing to say, and ignorant. I've had many close people to me die from addiction, it's very depressing.

Sorry to hear about that.

I was just vocally mean and condescending
yeah i know it was ignorant, i feel terrible and i do regret

Life lessons are hard, despite her death she taught you something. Even if she didn't mean too. The wise man knows when he is wrong, but that's only the beginning.

It is not wrong to be mean, but it is rude to be mean to someone when they save your puppy's life just because they stole something from you in the past.

If that's true, then yeah, you should feel bad. But you should've felt bad just for saying that, regardless of if your neighbor is alive or dead.

The way I see it, her being under the influence of drugs and other substances, you shouldn't have blamed her for stealing from you, but her addiction, rather. People aren't themselves when they are under the influence and you shouldn't have been angry with her, but naturally, you were, just like most people would have been. You should have forgiven her and tried to get her help. She obviously wasn't completely lost to her addiction, considering how she saved your puppy. It's those acts of kindness that define people, and she shouldn't be defined as a heroin addict worthy of death, but a woman who has gone off track with her life but is not entirely lost.

In other words, you should feel like a dike.

It's understandable man. Sometimes people don't understand the pain of addiction and how bad it can get. But once a person sees the effects of what happens to the addict first hand, and their family members, they usually understand because they knew the person. Addicts are usually kind people that are enslaved and trapped in their addiction, it's a vicious cycle.

A lot of addicts are sensitive people, like people can be. They want to escape the harsh reality that they live in. It works at first, but eventually they become trapped and their body and mind adapts to the drug of choice they use, and they need it to function. Most drug and alcohol addicts I've seen either end up dead or in jail, or they get clean and live life.

It's a harsh reality.

No you shouldn't feel bad. It is human nature to react the way you did because of her past actions. You did nothing wrong.

It is most certainly not human nature.

Why isn't it? Stuff got stolen from him, so he got upset over it. It's human nature to get uspet when wronged.

I'm with Davor on this one, seems like a natural progression of feelings that almost anyone would have towards her.

Have you ever heard of forgiveness?

Yeah, well, it's probably just as well you didn't get too attached. If someone's an addict to a substance they increase incrementally and can be easily overdosed on, they're not the type to hang around for very long.

How you choose to respond is all down to you. Hell, if you really feel ultra-guilty, transform that into change by taking some sort of action, like becoming a rehab doctor or something. You aren't helping anyone in the world by feeling bad.

Sure, but human nature doesn't dictate that you have to be mean to the person who wronged you, or that you have to hold a grudge, or that when that person saves the life of your puppy you have to continue being mean. Human nature is not at all responsible for how SilverEagle handled himself. He is.

He said that too? I thought that was only Jonahirt.
OP: Well you were kind of mean but at least you weren't mean "just" because she was addicted. She did something to provoke your angst and only then did you react with hostility (I think). Anyway, it's sad how people get addicted to this stuff.
EDIT: TBH, there's nothing wrong with being mad at someone who steals from you, furthermore it's not like you killed her.

This experience is going to change my out look, I don't need to be mean..i shouldnt have been heck i dont even like to be it just happens , i mean me and her husband where friends, i should have accepted her.
also i didnt say i would shoot addicts i said i would throw them in jail

Exactly. SilverEagle has remorse for it too. So he's most likely a thoughtful person and understands. Everyone has things they wish they could take back.

I'm not saying its the nice way, the compassionate way, the morally good way, whatever you want to say. Everyone on here can act like the second coming of Jesus, but it's probably all a show. Granted, some of you might be overly nice folks, but the majority of people are going to react exactly like he did. Hell, I probably would, I'll be honest. I'm just trying to save him from beating himself up over it. Like Gamgee said, life lessons...

No, you shouldn't feel bad. Your being mean has nothing to do with her death. She stole from you. You SHOULD be mean to people who do that. Smiling and thanking someone who steals from you is stupid and ignoring it is naive.

Jail doesn't help the majority of addicts. I was thrown in jail because I was busted with smack. When I was in jail, I was sick for a week and then I got out in 3 weeks. When I got out I used again, even people in jail were using, the environment makes addicts want to use more. But once I went to outpatient rehab, I got clean. I relapsed yes, it's apart of addiction. Then I stayed clean and haven't touched the hard stuff in 5 months.

I'm so much happier now.

You didn't know her man, you weren't close with her and she stole from you. You already said she stole from you and someone else. You shouldn't feel guilty about it.

This right here.

I'm not a religious person at all. Forgiveness has nothing to do with religion. It does, but forgiveness is just human nature. It's not a show for me. Of course if someone kept stealing from me I wouldn't allow them near my house or near me. But if it was a one time occurrence I would forgive and leave it from there.

I would hope the best for the person who stole from me multiple times, and keep away from them.

Thirded.