All right, I've got some predictions for you hircine (and Sivartus too
).
NFC
#5 Atlanta at #4 New York
The Giants show off their full arsenal of Cruz missiles, and Eli connects with the star receiver three times in the first half, as the Giants race out to a 24-3 lead. Unfortunately for Big Blue, the Dirty Birds mount a furious comeback, and tie the game at 31 late in the fourth quarter. With less than a minute left, the Giants drive stalls, and Coughlin sends out the punt team. To his horror, DeSean Jackson jogs onto the field in a Falcons uniform to return the punt. Coughlin frantically motions for Steve Weatherford to boot it out of bounds, but his punter booms a kick straight to Jackson, who races past the Giants special teamers for a touchdown, and for the third "Miracle at the Meadowlands". Atlanta wins, 38-31.
#6 Detroit at #3 New Orleans
Matt Stafford comes to play, and puts on an even more impressive aerial display than the previous week, throwing for a playoff record 597 yards and seven touchdowns. Unfortunately the Detroit defense can't keep the Saints off the board, and with the Lions clinging to a 49-42 lead, Darren Sproles tosses a long touchdown to Drew Brees on a trick play. Ndamukong Suh finds this so infuriating he throws the referee six rows into the Superdome, and a terrified linesman awards the game to the Saints by default.
AFC
#5 Pittsburgh at #4 Denver
Steelers start Isaac Redman at quarterback and run the option just like Denver; Redman outplays Tebow, completing 2 of 16 passes for 45 yards, but fails to put any points on the board. Broncos kick a field goal early, but Steelers sack Tebow twice in the end zone for safeties, and Matt Prater misses a potential game winning, 67 yard field goal in the closing seconds. Steelers win, 4-3.
#6 Cincinnati at #3 Houston
Jake Delhomme starts for the Texans, and throws a couple of costly interceptions to the hungry Bengals secondary, putting the best team in Texas down 14-0 going into halftime. Thanks to Arian Foster, the Texans manage to close within 23-16, and an onside kick is recovered. Delhomme gets knocked out of the game but T.J. Yates heroically comes off the bench, and in a stunning reversal of the previous week, marches the team down the field for a score, and scrambles for the winning two point conversion as time expires. As Yates spikes the ball, punctuating the Texans first playofff win, he tears his shoulder and will be out for the rest Houston's playoff run. With his top four quarterbacks out with injuries, Gary Kubiak announces the Texans will not bother making the trip to Baltimore. Texans win the game, at least, 24-23.
» Sun May 13, 2012 10:24 am 
