I didn't know him. We both worked for the same company (the girl and I) in Greece and he was Swedish and lived in Sweden. (Funny that!) I do season work, so everyone lives together, works together, goes out together etc. It's very close knit, so it's not like I could avoid her. I really liked her, she came on to me and I let it happen. I did feel guilty to a point, but she didn't even tell me about her boyfriend until a week in!

She was a bit nuts.

oi.
i see a lot of guys like crazy girls though haha

See, when my ex cheated on me, I had to realise that this was probably the case. It wasn't the same situation, we were still together. When she told me about it and I ended it with her, I considered destroying him...but decided instead to talk to him. Cut a long story short, I'm glad I did because it turns out he had no idea she had a boyfriend! So, as hard as it is, I had to kinda see him as an innocent party.

So I'd say that you were an innocent party too! Once you'd been together a week, and she told you, why should you end it? It's not like it's gonna help the guy?

Pretty much this. ESPECIALLY if the op is a long term relationship kind of guy like he/she said he/she is, then you want to start from a good foundation. Its just like building. If mess up big time building your house or you don't lay your foundation right, its going to come back and bite you in the ass at some point. Don't take that as me saying you should only settle for the perfect girl or anything either, though.

I don't see why six is disgusting and that isn't. In my warped opinion it's actually worse

but anyway if it were me I'd probably do nothing

How can anyone say asking her out would be alright if she has a boyfriend? Even if they aren't crazy in love, you can't really do that. You can hang out with her more, spend a lot of time with her and make it known that you're available and waiting, but to openly pursue a relationship with her while she's already in one is too far.

Do what I said. Pursue a friendship, and if she likes you as much as you like her, everything else will fall into place. There have been plenty of situations where me or my friends were in a situation with a girl who had a boyfriend where they eventually broke up and we swept them up.

I can't? What's stopping me?


Now, this... this sounds shady. So, instead of being completely open, asking her out, and leaving it at that... Instead of that, you'd lurk about and try to weasel your way in? Did you read what you've typed before you clicked Post? How is that at all better than just asking her straight out, "Hey, want to go on a date?"

I think a few people have got the wrong end of the stick. Not once did I say in the OP that I was going to ask her out...like I've said numerous times, I'm not a dike and, whilst Oof's correct that there really isn't anything to stop me, unfortunately my morals would. Especially if she were to agree to a date and come out with me while she was still with him...I wouldn't want that, let alone ask for it.

I was just going to let her know that I liked her (I've talked to her alot more now, and nothing's changed there) and that, whilst I'm cool with us being friends, I'd feel like I was lying to her if I didn't tell her the truth. Or something like that. Basically, there would be no date.

Bear in mind that I'm in the UK, where dating is completely different (the whole 'exclusive' thing is kind of implied over here)

I'd personally let her know that I liked her and leave it at that. I think trying to get too chummy, chummy without letting your feelings be known is A) Too much hard work and B )Not too honest.

[censored] it, just say/go with the, "you think you really like her, but you respect that she is in a relationship and would like to be friends" route. She sounds like she would make a pretty cool friend as well as a girlfriend. Taking one over the other is not exactly a lose lose even if she is moving. Maybe you can game with her online or some such thing. Playing games with girls is actually quite fun. Flirting and gaming is quite fun, and HARMLESS so long as it does not devolve into "that's what she said" conversation and even then the 'harm' is minimal and is still very fun. If you get the feeling like the guy she with is a [censored] then wait and see how it plays out. If he is a cool guy and treats here well then just stay friends with her and leave it at that until they break up, by that time you may only want her as a friend anyways. If he is an [censored] then make sure you are not biased in your thinking and see if that behavior continues and he treats her badly.

Little bit off topic but still quite similar...

There is NOTHING wrong with stealing a girl from an [censored] imo. So long as you are sure he is an [censored]. In fact I have done it a few times and the girls all thanked me for it, even after we broke up. I have had very few ugly break ups. Most end on a "it is for our mutual benefit" note. We have fun together, realize we really like each other, then realize we don't love each other and just go well, hmmph, been fun lets keep in touch but move on. Great learning experiences. Don't be afraid to take a risk either. The worst thing that will likely happen is you get hurt and learn some valuable lessons. Hopefully you are aware enough to learn from the experiences.

BTW I have been in several 'good' relationships but have also spent a considerable amount of time happily single as well so I am not blinded by the whole need to be in a relationship thing in case you were wondering.

If she's leaving, then you really have nothing to lose do you? Just tell her how you feel. Unless, her boyfriend is a really nice dude that you think deserves her, have to honor the bro code first.

Good to hear that it's worked out okay so far .

Why end it? Because she's the sort of person who cheats on her partners. Sure, she may change/never do it again, but she's more likely to if she has some negative reinforcement. Carrots may be better than sticks, but when your options are limited...