Santa Isn't Real : Othor Games

» Sat May 12, 2012 2:34 pm

Wait...Santa is tied up in my basemant...Who the hell do I have then?

Billy Bob Thornton? I haven't seen him about for a while...

» Sat May 12, 2012 11:25 pm

Sorry OP, but last night I mistook Santa for a burglar and knocked him out with a frying pan. He's currently tied up in my basemant as I'm not sure what to do with him now.

Ok first things first: stay cool, don't do anything dumb.
Second: Contact the Elves at the North Pole and start talks. Tell them you have St. Nick and you have a list of demands you wish to make.
Third: If they refuse to listen, tell them there won't be a Christmas next year.
Forth: If they give in to demands, let the poor fat {Beeper} go.
Fith: Profit.

» Sat May 12, 2012 8:53 pm

Then who was that guy in a red coat that visited our house yesterday...? :cold:

It must have been movers, or thieves. Either way there is probably a reason the cookies are missing.

I've stayed up all night hoping to get a look at the bug man in red, sadly he didn't come... I was extra good this year too... Oh well, Merri Kurisumasu.

_{^{....how could you say thse things}}

» Sat May 12, 2012 10:38 pm

I think Bart Scott said it best.

"Santa's Real y'all"!!!!!!

» Sat May 12, 2012 4:41 pm

Oh yeah? Then who ate the damn cookies?

» Sun May 13, 2012 3:19 am

This thread is simply untrue, reports of my non-existence have been grossly exaggerated. It was a little touch and go over North Korean airspace, but I assure you that I am very much still alive and kicking. Ho ho ho!

*Sits on Santa's lap and quietly requests a replacement husband, preferrably Keanu Reeves.*

» Sun May 13, 2012 12:39 am

Santas been dead for 1700 years. found out because I accidentally walked out of my room when i was 6 and saw mom and dad put sstuff under the tree.

» Sat May 12, 2012 5:00 pm

I saw a red creature at the roof of my house yesterday, I thought it was Santa, but than I looked closer and it was Satan!

» Sat May 12, 2012 6:00 pm

This thread is simply untrue, reports of my non-existence have been grossly exaggerated. It was a little touch and go over North Korean airspace, but I assure you that I am very much still alive and kicking. Ho ho ho!

And thanks again for that rolling strike package in '07! :clap:

Bastards never knew what hit 'em. :goodjob:

» Sat May 12, 2012 11:44 am

lliieesss, (actually thats hard to read, it says lies) Anyway i'm like 98% sure that santa is real, i mean who else delivered all these socks to me for christmas? Hmm? My family loves me way to much to get me such a practical present

» Sat May 12, 2012 8:19 pm

*Sits on Santa's lap and quietly requests a replacement husband, preferrably Keanu Reeves.*

Request already taken (by me) - but you could put out an ad for something similar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQw_caIYmi4&list=FLtnQFK-WQTAvJ_r5E0BrRdw&index=63&feature=plpp_video But I call dibs on the real deal.

» Sun May 13, 2012 2:19 am

He was wearing Chinese Stealth Armor. Duh.

» Sat May 12, 2012 1:28 pm

Peace forgot one important rule: Santa only comes when you're sound asleep. And 6. And dreaming.

» Sat May 12, 2012 12:59 pm

Unless of course, Peace Bullet is Santa! Obviously, we all know too much about his existence.

» Sat May 12, 2012 6:52 pm

Of course Santa's real! His reindeer crapped on our lawn one year.

» Sat May 12, 2012 3:16 pm

Peace forgot one important rule: Santa only comes when you're sound asleep. And 6. And dreaming.

Yeah. Staying up to see him is officially Bad. Now he won't come next year either.

» Sat May 12, 2012 3:20 pm

Yeah. Staying up to see him is officially Bad. Now he won't come next year either.

I was always told that bad kids get a lump of coal for Christmas. Not sure if true since I've always been a good kid. :angel:

» Sun May 13, 2012 2:11 am

I've stayed up all night hoping to get a look at the bug man in red, sadly he didn't come... I was extra good this year too... Oh well, Merri Kurisumasu.

oh....
uhm,

yyyeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh,
see we forgot to put out our fire, the next morning there was this charred red coat and bag of half-burnt toys

Santa was real, but he ain't no more

» Sat May 12, 2012 8:13 pm

I was always told that bad kids get a lump of coal for Christmas.

I'd forgotten all about that! I think that was one of those hold-overs from my grandparents' generation.

» Sun May 13, 2012 1:38 am

*sigh*

BSF: Would kidnap Santa, sell him into slavery and eat his reindeer.

Is it any wonder that none of you ever see him? :tongue:

» Sat May 12, 2012 10:43 pm

*sigh*

BSF: Would kidnap Santa, sell him into slavery and eat his reindeer.

Is it any wonder that none of you ever see him? :tongue:

It is a wonder, because all of this was just hypothetical planning on what we should do should we ever see him.

Unless Santa can read minds... and knows what we're thinking as well as what horrible acts we've committed.

:mellow:

» Sat May 12, 2012 5:20 pm

Unless Santa can read minds... and knows what we're thinking as well as what horrible acts we've committed.

:mellow:

You're so screwed then :biggrin:

» Sat May 12, 2012 11:35 am

I've stayed up all night hoping to get a look at the bug man in red, sadly he didn't come... I was extra good this year too... Oh well, Merri Kurisumasu.

Bug man in red? Well, that's your problem. Reading Burroughs has officially corrupted you to the naughty list.

But no worries... Santa is a hack. Old fool can't even deliver toys with batteries.

» Sun May 13, 2012 1:57 am

Santa is a hack. Old fool can't even deliver toys with batteries.

The amount of opportunity given here to make an inappropriate response is staggering :ohmy:

must.resist.temptation.to...

:no:

anywho..

that's not what your momma said :tongue:

» Sat May 12, 2012 9:02 pm

If I took a poopy and forgot to flush,

1) would Santa know
2) Is that bad marks, or would the elves dismiss it on account of comedic hilarity?