1. "Don't put your hands in your pockets!"

Were you ever told this as a child? Because, I find this very confusing, to quite high degree. Does anyone understand the purpose of not putting your hands in your pockets? Is there some ancient reason for this that only our parents know, or that some of you older ladies and gentlemen who vacate this forum happen to know? I get that it might have something to do with social etiquette and fashionable manner, norms and whatnot, but really, what the [censored] does the gesture of putting your hands in your pocket mean? What is the offense in such an action?

2. "Take off your hat when you're inside!"

Another issue I have regards hats. When I had long hair, I wore a hat to keep it gathered because I didn't use hair products, like gel or any crap like that. And quite frequently, I would be told to take off my hat. What the [censored] does this mean? Where is the connection between an uncovered head and... something? Is it to be respectful? And if so, what makes is disrespectful to wear a hat inside? Once again, this must be some sort of [censored] regarding social etiquette, fashionable manner and norms, but still, what the hell is all this about? Is there some mystical, ancient and lost knowledge that the older generations know of, that for some idiotic reason have not been passed down to any younger generations, mine for example?

The point of this thread is simple: What [censored] does this mean? Can someone explain this [censored]? When do these idiotic norms or whatever, break down into meaningless [censored]? Because, I'm baffled. Also, be free to add any other odd and pointless gestures of respect and social etiquette, if you know of any.

I was told not to put my hands in my pockets and walk. That makes sense.

As for (2), I never wore a hat but I've seen other people being instructed to take off their hats inside. It's supposedly good manners, but like most of these 'good manners' they don't really make any sense. Something tells me this particular one came about from the military, but I'm just guessing here.

Don't know about 2, but taking your hands out of your pockets makes sense. Next time you see someone standing with his hands in his pockets, take a look at him. It looks uninterested, nonchalant and lazy. Nothing wrong with that in a casual situation, but seeing someone standing with his hands in his pockets in a professional situation is just wrong.

It looks lazy to you because that's the kind of useless norm you grew up with.

Ah, of course, I forgot you knew all about me and my ability or inability to detach my own thinking from society's norms.

It doesn't look lazy because I 'grew up with the norm', but because it does. Someone standing with his hands in his pockets like a sack of potatoes looks terribly unprofessional and uninterested. It's like slouching - the appearance and perception of it isn't based on norms, it's simple body language.

Oh yeah, that's right. It's very common for seven year olds to be seasoned workers and business men with active professional lives.

Okay, is it better if the arms just hang down by the side, with the hands right next to the pockets?

Both have always been my habits and got me into some trouble in army. I continued to do them afterwards and if someone comments on my hat-when-indoors I ask them if they have better things to do than worry about my clothing.

I do however only keep my hands in pockets so my thumbs are left outside. It looks a bit better than having the hands deep inside.

'Cause body language isn't based on norms?

I don't see someone with hands in their pockets as uninterested and unprofessional. Nothing is so simple. Someone can look professional with or without their hands in their pockets just as someone can look unprofessional doing the same.

Why do we shake eachothers hands when we introduce ourselves?
I mean what is that all about?

Just norms and etiquette you follow. You can question everything in the same way, but the answer is always the same: That's just how it is.

For example, two men holding hands while they walk down the street here would raise a few eyebrows and think they are gay. In india though, it's completely normal and just a way to show they are friends. Why? Because that's just how it is. As simple as that.

I reckon the hats thing has religious roots, as evidenced by the fact that most major religions still do have rules about covering the head (admittedly with a slight bias against women), either in church or in general.

EDIT: Actually my logic there is terrible. I literally just woke up, that's my excuse...

I agree with this. As for 2, I think it may have to do with the original purpose of hats: to protect from the sun, the wind and the rain. Because of this hats are originally meant to be worn outdoors, just like boots and coats. And since you remove your boots and your coat when you are indoors, you do the same with your hat. That's just my take on it, of course.

It's actually biased against women both ways, some Catholic denominations require women to wear hats while men can't, and it's the other way around with some Jewish ones, where the women cannot cover their heads and men have to. It's all very confusing...
Okay, what's wrong with shaking hands with the left? Why the right? Because the left is considered filthy? Give me break, whenever I take a [censored], I wash both hands.

It (possibly) originated as an offering of an empty hand to another individual to show you aren't holding a weapon. It's an offering of peace/friendship.

It was done with the right hand because back in the day because pretty much everyone was right handed your right hand was your sword hand, its just a habit that stuck. Bear in mind that its only recently that schools have really started to let people be left handed, prior to this you would be forced to be a righty, regardless of your preference. So the right hand makes sense from that perspective.

Or something to that effect.

Way to deliberately misinterpret my post there, champ! You know as well as I do that good habits need to be taught early so they can be thoroughly ingrained by the time they're actually needed.

As a matter of fact it is. It's an uncomfortable position for you, but to others, it looks better than having them in your pockets.


Only partially. The majority of body language is experienced as a subconscious and genetically hard-coded response.

That's AWESOME for you, but the majority of people will have a subconscious response to a person with his hands in his pockets.

I never claimed that wasn't true. But having your hands in your pockets makes you less professional-looking than not having them there. Doesn't mean you can't still look professional on other fronts, but the hands-in-pockets will be a strike against you.


Anyway, if things like these are what make you unhappy enough to start a thread, you really should wonder if you've got your priorities straight.



The left-hand side has always been seen as bad or evil, not sure why, but it's since the Ancient era. Fun fact, in Latin, 'right' is 'a dextra', from where you English-speakers derive 'dexterous', and 'left' is 'a sinistra', from which you derive 'sinister'. One word with a clearly positive connotation, one with a clearly negative one.

Not sure where it stems from, but I'm thinking it's because the majority of people are right-handed, and being left-handed was seen as abnormal.

I've been told that people shake hands to show that they don't have anything in their hand, like a weapon. If you use your left hand, given that most people are right handed, it means you may be holding a weapon in your right hand.

But the hands are almost at the exact same position as they would have been, if in the pockets. The only significant difference is that in the pockets, the hands are covered, and outside, they are exposed. It makes no logical sense, it has no objective meaning. It's make belief that's been prodded into our minds for generations, just because of what? Some [censored] that figured: hands in pockets = bad?

Opening doors and pulling out chairs for women. They have hands.

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought Judaism (at least at its most strict) required everyone to cover their head. Turns out you learn something new every day


I've been thinking about the hands in the pocket rule and the idea of shaking hands, and it seems to me that seeing someone else's hands is to some extent a way of exercising symbolic power over them. Reciprocally in the case of handshakes, and more one sidedly in schools (okay, so the teachers also don't do it, but it's they who have the power to demand uncovered hands). I wonder if maybe it's a rule that originated in workshops and factories (rather than a "professional" setting) so that the foreman/overseer could be sure people weren't stealing or distracted. A quick search reveals that it's also a rule that crops up in a military setting. Which makes sense and follows on...

I can see how it might look unprofessional, but I'm also sceptical as to how much that is a necessary thing and how much it's a product of socio-historical norms. I'm thinking of those classic sepia photos of Victorian gentlemen with one or both hands in their pockets where they look pretty distinguished...

Like I said, subconscious interpretation of body language.

Fight the power, man.

Pretty sure one hand in a pocket isn't frowned upon. Just both, accompanied with the usual slouching position, looks lazy.


Well, yeah. It's completely ass-tarded of a woman to expect a man to do it for her, that I agree with, but I don't see anything wrong with some chivalry.

Now, the toilet seat! There's an annoying womanly demand that's completely stupid. We need it up, you need it down. You're a big girl, you can work the toilet seat.

Not saying I don't do it, it's virtually compulsory on a date, just saying it's pretty [censored] stupid.

I learned it this way:

Putting your hands in your pockets ultimately symbolizes that you have nothing to do, and are not working. If you want to look professional, you keep your hands out of the pockets, even if you aren't doing anything at all. The reason it's taught, especially by parents, is that they want their children to grow into responsible professionals who are successful. What parents don't?

I'd be shocked if a stranger berated you for having your hands in your pockets though. That's a whole different kind of rude.

Here's the thing:

Why do you care what they think?

I'm left-handed and I tend to do almost everything with my left hand, ('cept clicking, I have a right-hand mouse) mostly to indirectly say "Come at me" to conservatives who think there's something "wrong" with the left hand. (I'm face-palming while writing this, what kind of people even think of this stuff?)

And then you aggressively shake and squeeze their hand...

A lot of First Nations (Canada) tell people not to stare, it's considered rude. Now in my advlt life away from my Native peers I don't like staring at people in the eyes until I get to know them. They think I look suspicious. At this point its an ingrained automatic reaction. In reality by my culture it shows them respect. Though try and explain this to some people and your likely to get punched.

The custom of taking one's hat off indoors is that it was done to show they were unarmed and thus among friends. At one time they also raised their right hand to show they carried no weapon. It has evolved as a show of respect. and custom and while one doesn't have to do so now days, it will go a long way toward endearing you to others and thus getting you ahead in the world. Why? Well because to not do so will cause an others to perceive you as rude and confrontational. Right or wrong...such customs are ingrained in our culture and thus important when trying to succeed in this world.

As for the pockets, that is also for the purpose of showing you are unarmed I believe but more than that, it ruins pockets to continuously have your hands in them due to the extra stress on the fabric. A pair of pants with gaping pockets looks tacky when worn. And as someone else said, people look as if they are not attentive and a bit lazy and slouchy when standing around with their hands in their pockets.

Personally I don't mind hats indoors or hands in pockets but it does change how I perceive someone. And at the dinner table I like hat's off as I want to see their eyes when engaging in dinner conversation. This is especially true for a formal dinner.