I usually don't ask to the why of someone else's rules whilst a guest in their house, and either accept their rules, or leave.

but I'm certainly not going to question them to his face.. mah momma raised me better than that

Yes, it certainly would be rude to debate their rules while a guest, but talking in a societal, general sense I think it's good to question things like that.

That I just put down to people's preferences.

Mine is for people to take their hats off in my house, as well as sun glasses and to not hang around with their hands in their pockets.

If pressed I could answer that I simply feel uncomfortable otherwise, and I'm not accustomed to feeling that way in my own house. (the hat and pocket thing are drilled in during the service, the sunglasses thing is so I can see someone's eyes.)

Yes I went to a public school, a religious one at that. It required you wear a white shirt and school tie with black shoes and trousers, as well as what you mentioned. Sure people work tracksuit tops and white shoes that were outwith the rules, they managed to police bright coloured jackets well enough but people still wear black denims and/or trainers.

I don't find it offensive or anything, and sometimes he has good reason to wear it; like forgetting to wash his haiir or something. But it's just manners, like taking your shoes off when entering someone elses house. It'd take more than a hat to burn that bridge, though at times I wish he wouldn't wear it because in certain ocassions it's not a respectable appearance, like when we're going out for drinks and trying to get into a club - The chances of getting in with a hat on and the casual clothes he wears is a nightmare. Is it that hard to take the hat off and put it away until you go outside again though?
Some places as well view hat wearers as a nuisance, because some tend to be neds and hooligans that wear them as a symbol of their degenerate life styles

In my opinion nobody owes me enough that they have to dress to please my sensibilities, but I might make snap decisions about strangers based on what they're wearing.

When one dresses his choice of clothing may give certain impressions about him, yes, it's true. But do people actually think that other people need to dress in a conformist fashion to suit their own taste? As in, it's actually considered bad manners to be dressed contrary to popular consensus?

That sounds very unreasonable to me.

See the rest of the quote:


Power trip nullified.

It certainly says something about a person, however, to have rules about the way someone else dresses when it comes to inviting them over. Dress style is their personality, why would you ask them over but to leave their personality at the door?

"Hey sir come over but don't bring your sense of humour"

To say it's selfish and disregarding of them is an understatement. It's well established it's your house, I'm sure you can make rules for them to chant "it's your house!" 500 times as soon as they walk in your foyer.. inviting someone over doesn't inherently make you generous, being a good host does, which means respecting the person you invite over. If one's rules are overbearing, especially to advlts no less, there's no point in inviting anyone over. Enjoy time with yourself and your house. No self-respecting person would bother coming over.

What in this world is ever reasonable...
That's not what I was saying, was it? If you're talking about not getting in places because of the way someone looks, yeah they are judged on their appearance. The bouncers at doors aren't going to let you in if you've not put effort in to look presentable/respectible or if you look like you'll cause trouble. If you're wearing a formal hat of some kind then they may let you in but the hat I have in my mind that the OP is talk about is something like http://headstarthats.co.uk/images/Long-Green-Ribbed-Beanie.jpg, which isn't going to get you many places.
If this isn't what you meant then make it clearer

So while in... oh say I dunno... the entire region of Asia, you wouldn't take.. oh say, your shoes off, just because you're really stoked about your new high tops and wanted to show them off that evening?

-as an example of what your words boil down to in certain cases..

A persons private space is to be respected, or otherwise you should decline the invitation.

Are you going to respect an Afghani's house rules, or are you going to oggle his wife?

The rules of a man's house are the rules that stand. when the hell did it ever become acceptable behavior to *not* respect a persons self laid down rules within the confines of his own house? provided they don't fly in the face of the standing laws of the land..



..and whether my friends are self respecting or not isn't my call since I have no idea what they got up to last night. Although you may be right that a few of them don't respect themselves this morning. It happens.

Where I'm from, a hood and a baseball cap with an optional face-scarf is indicative of a trouble maker. People who wear beanies aren't really chavs as we call them.

I don't think I made my post as clear as I thought I did, but beanie wearers can still be troublemakers. Point is though you don't wear something somewhere when people have told you not to or it'd be polite and/or good manners to remove said item.

Exactly. People welcoming you into their house but expecting you'll respect their rules while you're a guest. How dare they.

You are a unique, beautiful little snowflake and should be allowed to do anything, anywhere. Only like this can you truly express your splendour and uniqueness.

At my school we had to stand up and leap to attention if a teacher entered the room. Informal my ass.

Seriously? That must have been a real pain. That sounds more annoying then those stupid "no talking during lunch" the elementary school I went to had.

We never had to stand up in class but we did need to say "Good Moringing Mrs/Ms/Miss [name]" in Primary school if a teacher came in, usually just the head Teacher though. She has !UZIS! in her afro! And this was a proper badboy afro!!!

And what is so wrong with that? It's just standing up when your teacher enters, not kow-towing at his feet while singing praises. I've always had to stand up when a teacher entered at my school, and nobody complained. It's just a sign of respect. A little old-fashioned maybe, but old-fashioned isn't always bad.

Old fashioned may not always be bad, but standing to attention a la some sort of [censored] military academy is clearly absurd. That's not respect, and I can't imagine it feels like it for any but the most petty of authoritarian [censored] - who are often the least respected (and the worst) teachers.

Imagine the worlds armies never stood to attention when their CO was present, they'd look like camoflauged gangsters with guns

It wasn't standing rigidly at attention and saluting, it was simply rising from your chair as a sign of respect. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Nothing, I'm just saying that public schools are not all informal.

Oh, right. Guess you know that better than I do. It just sounded a bit like you had issues with the idea, but apparently not then

I wouldn't mind it, if teachers stood up when I entered the room. Respect goes both ways, right?

Your teachers crawl inside the classroom then?

no, for example if such a system were in place and I were to enter their classroom when they are seated and not teaching, I would expect them to stand as I would for them. If not, I would cease the practise of standing when they entered the room.

A lot of people seem to equate discipline and respect with obedience and unthinking support.

I like wearing my jacket indoors if I had it on outside. If I'm too hot, I'll take it off.

It really annoys me to get the "are you cold?" "are you going somewhere" "why don't you stay a while" comments for wearing my jacket inside. Drives me nuts.

I'll add that to the list.

If that was the case the idea of respect would be out the window completely.
As a younger you respect your elder, like your elder respected their elder. Then when you become the elder you get shown respect by your youngers, if the youngers can't/don't show respect to the elder then it is a failing on the elders part for not teaching the correct lessons. Probably because of an attitude like the on in your post.