Again, I have no problem with the choices offered being difficult, and each having significant drawbacks. Being forced to decide between hard alternatives is fine.
And again, simply not having to kill an entire faction is fine with me, regardless of any temporary or lasting alliance. The NCR and Brotherhood can continue to hate each other and say unflattering things about each other or break out in battles with each other all they want; I just don't want to be forced to kill the Brotherhood in order to help the NCR. I don't think it should be an all-or-nothing choice. There's leeway in the other similar quests in dealing with factions.
I really think you should just send PMs at this point. I don't think this is adding anything meaningful to this thread.
i don't see the need to discuss that privately, as we are on topic.
but i do see us not coming together.
obsidian made the decision not allowing you to have your desired outcome, regardless how you were acting in the leadership issue, and you are not happy with that.
furthermore, obsidian did not have hardin approaching you and saying "hi, i'm hardin, and if you help me usurping mcnamara, there won't be an agreement with ncr 50h later in the game"
i, for myself like exactly that.
you enter this bunker not knowing anybody, and are promptly asked to play a central part in a revolution. did you never even consider the possibility this might have a significant effect?
regardless, i did the right thing here, but made other choices, were i had to face later consequences i didn't like at all.
bringing the khans to help at the dam, for example. or influencing boone in a manner, that caused a very tragic and sad mentioning at the end.
in a certain way, i screwed that up. but i'm glad for the game allowing me to make such mistakes, to have elements that remain unforeseeable. you can't be always right.
for me, that makes the experience compelling and motivating.
i can do better next time, or at least trying.
and in the very end, i'll probably have to realize, whatever i'll be doing, there'll never be my secretly wished fairy tale ending, where all my beloved will live long and prosperous.
because war, war never changes

big props to obsidian for taking this approach, as this more than rare in nowadays games