The Imperials think we're all lawless beasts. I'm proof of their ignorance.

"We're so dead!"

Whiterun guard whispered that when the jarl's housecarl was rallying us all to fight a dragon. I laughed so hard.

Let me guess, someone stole your sweet rolls ?

lol priceless

''If those Whiterun guards can take down a dragon, so can we'' - Whiterun guard

I had a good laugh when he actually said that, some NPC dialogue is pretty stupid.

i have to go with the curved swords comment.

just the way the guard said it, made me crack up. as though he was shocked.. stupefied, and needed to repeat himself..

one of my fav's.

the other would be when you shout in town.. "I NEEED to ask you to not do that.... that .. shouting. Your making the people nervous".. haha.. classic.

d

she said you slept your way to the top


I like lolygagging, sweetroll and since ive been enchanting things with fire damage they tell me not to light stuff on fire.

Guard: UGHHH... Your breath STINK'S.. What have you been eating

Me: The corpse's of Nords, Dunmer, Bosmer, Altmer, Imperia and Orc's.

the way every time one of the guards says "No lollygagging..." just cracks me up !

"The Thuum, he summons the thuum!"

"Hey, you mix potions right? Can you brew me an ale?"

And the http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Guard

"Got to keep my eyes open. Damn dragons could swoop down at any time!" Yes, swooping is bad.

66 hrs in, and I dont think I have heard this arrow to the knee quote (maybe once) - I just couldnt figure out what everyone was talking about.

However, if I hear the "sneakthief" comment once more from guards, I may do something I shouldnt..hehe.

My character is not even a thief for crying out loud - more paladin type (but I like sneaking with a bow)

"You're the one who casts those Illusions. Impressive." Well ,no, actually; an Illusion of 30 is not impressive for an Altmer by any stretch of the imagination.

For all its faults, Beth did a great job with the Guards one-liners. My favorite is 'Maybe I'm the Dragonborn and just dont know it yet'

i used to like guard quotes, but then i took an arrow in the knee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSDfxde8fSg&feature=g-logo&context=G296d74eFOAAAAAAABAA

I thought it was funny the first time I played a wood-elf thief, the manner in which the guard says, "Stay out of trouble.. elf"

My cousin's out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty.

Idolaf Battle-Born finally wrote his death sentence when he threatened to bash my head in. So I waited til night time and stalked him and waited for a moment when there were no guards and witnesses around. In the steps of Dragons Reach Idolaf met his end at the blade of my dagger. When I was trying to lift his body to the pool beneath the stairs I heard steps and saw the light of a torch and thought this will be the end of me. As I turned around and prepared to run for my life, there was the Whiterun Guard staring at me and all he had to say was: "Be careful with that". I laughed my a-s-s off.

When I pulled myself together I tried to shout Idolaf to the pool without success. I looted him, took his ring and enchanted it with his own soul. As I was leaving Whiterun I saw a guard rushing towards me and I even pulled my sword out as I was sure it's about the killing. Guard: "All that shouting is making people nervous... yadda yadda" Me: "Sorry won't happen a again." LOL

God gave you two hands you use them both for your weapon. I can respect that


Destruction magic fine. Just don't go burning down any houses.


Someday soon you will all see battle. What u do here today could save your lives.


I want those arrows dead center. The lives of your fellow soldgers are counting on it.


Fine day with u around

Hahaha, I've never heard some of those in your link. Thanks

"Is that... fur? Coming out of your ears?" - Afflicted with Lycanthrophy

Oh, tell me about it. I'm doing a freaking no-crime run, and they're calling me that. Because of my sneak skill, I figure... but it's that high because I AM A SQUISHY MAGE. I sneak up, summon an atronoch to distract, and nuke my foes. But I'm very proud of my 0 crime rating so far. I must say, though, some of those chests have been tempting, since I could use the coin this early in the game...

I like it when he warns you not to shout because it disturbs the locals... probably cos he doesn`t say it every two seconds...

Unless you er... shout.

Just heard a new one. Winterhold guard: "hard to believe i complained Riften being cold"