Aye I only meant that, one of my friends for example, is constantly screwed over by his boss. He gets paid about 200 less than his contract entails every month, and they act like they did nothing wrong. It's a newspaper company, and friends of the boss get featured in "good lights" in the articles because he enforces the writers to go with what he wants. I could continue the list but it makes me angry, since his boss defiles the rules of journalism and also how he should be treating his workers.

Work could probably be quite helpful, yes, as it can definitely be a distractor. I'm less crazy when I'm busy.

Wow, just read read some of the symptoms of clinical depression. I've got pretty much all of them. Gutted for me I suppose.

You know, you only had to ask.

Anyway, I'd say find something to distract yourself. Generally speaking, if I feel like crap late at night/know I won't be able to fall asleep, I just stay up as late as possible, doing something I like, then go to bed when I'm dead tired... that way, I'm asleep before I can think about things. This might not work for you, but it does for me.

Usually, I offer to be there if people want someone to talk to, but in your case it seems you already have that. Though I'm still throwing the offer out there, just in case. One of the perks of my irritatingly high self esteem is that I like to make people around me feel better about themselves too.

Anyway, I would've suggested occupying yourself, but you seem to already have tried that as well, so all I can say at this point is: sometimes it's okay to cry. It's okay to just let it all out. Maybe not every single night, but every now and then.

... Or you could take the night shift as a projectionist, start making soap, and become a waiter. :whistling:

Hate to seem like an attention [censored], but I could definitely do with some of the positive stuff being thrown about in this thread. Plus roughly half of my posts get missed, so I think I'm also cursed (even though I'm obviously not).

Well, you'd have to first explain your situation in more detail, for more suitable suggestions. Like, what are your exact symptoms? What have you tried to do to deal with it? What resources are available to you? Which ones aren't? Do you know what's missing? etc..

Not to be mean, but I don't think it's right to ask in someone else's thread. You'd probably get more responses if you made your own detailed thread. :blush:

Well, I only just found out literally after reading this thread. Or perhaps realised is the better word. Either way, here are my symptoms;

difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
fatigue and decreased energy
feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
irritability, restlessness
loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including six
overeating or appetite loss
persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

My symptoms are in bold. Haven't done anything about it yet, as it's half 10 in the evening, but will go ahead and book an appointment at the doctors tomorrow.

@Nami, I don't think it needs a detailed thread, would just like to steal some of the good wishes/advice etc. .

Well at around our age we'd probably get a lot of those feelings anyway, such as indecisiveness and inability to pay attention, and the digestion problems could likely be caused by an improper sleep routine or diet. I would suggest finding some sort of outlet. Just think of the thing you'd rather be doing right now. That you'd want to do. And then find a way to work towards that. I have several outlets such as writing fan-fics, drawing, writing song lyrics, writing poems, exercising, learning new things, etc. Find something that you would like to do. It could be anything, even something wild like scuba-diving. Just go to your local pool and try seeing if you can dive into the pool and swim all the way to the other end without surfacing for air. If you can't, work at it until you can. Then one day arrange a trip of some sort during the holidays..

That kind of thing would be my first suggestion.

Thanks for the advice . I've had most of these feelings for about a year and a half now though, and only just actually looked at the symptoms of depression. Modding and my girlfriend are highs in my life, and (hopfully) doing a Comp Sci degree (which I enjoy) will help pull me out of my hole.

I wish you luck!

Indeed. Progress is definitely a good way to make you feel good again. Just hang in there, and while looking in the mirror just keep telling yourself that one day you're going to achieve something. You have a girlfriend, which is something even I am missing these days, so that means you must be a more attractive person. Good job. Keep it up.

Someone more attractive then you, Holy? I call BS.

And its totally not weird for me to say that, being the completely heterosixual dude I am. :shifty:

But, anywho, everyone in this thread has given you pretty good advice. Just keep thinking positively, stay focused on the future, and remember, your E-Family has got your back.

Hey, I think it's a long shot too, but you'd never know. :shrug:




:P

Edit: aaaaaaaaaaaand sigged!

I always feel like that

Okay, serious response:

I've found CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) to be extremely helpful. I also see a social worker on a regular basis who is trained in CBT, and the counseling service also has staff who are trained in DBT and offer a DBT course a few times a year. Maybe consider pursuing those, if you haven't already.

Feel free to look up both on wikipedia to learn more.

:laugh: I think I just got thread hijacked! And totally the same here, most of my posts are ignored but hey, it's a big forum.

Color yourself lucky, since those are the ones I've experienced over the years. Thankfully I at least still enjoy six. And double thankfully, have it regularly. :hubbahubba:

--
This sounds ridiculous but I'm having an improved night because Rocky Horror Picture Show just appeared on cable. I have not seen that enough. Thank you, Palladia!

@Ali the best I can say to you (god I'm giving advice on my own I-need-advice thread) is that you're not as bad as you think. I can't be satisfied with myself at all, but I realize the stupidity of how I think. Does that make sense? I'm consciously aware that I am acting irrationally, yet I can't stop doing it. My brain works as it wants, though I'm able to see what's wrong. You have to give yourself things to do. Get some sun. I'm notorious for my pallor, but sometimes a little vitamin D really feels great.

@Alaisiagae: I've been to both, and cognitive therapy actually did the least for me. As I mentioned, I can't even change my own thinking despite awareness, and no one else proved to be able to either.
I studied psychology in high school at first, and then took it up in university. A bit ironic, I suppose. History is truly my calling but unfortunately I figured I couldn't make as good of a living doing my number one choice, so I went for the alternative. I'm most interested in behavioral therapy and will most likely go into the field to help addicts. It's too bad I don't have the money to start my own practice. Maybe when I'm old I'll become a psychoanolyst just for the lulz in the name of our good pal Freud.

Anyway, babbling..

You go to a psychologist, what does he say when you tell him this?

It seems like you have a fear of being lonely, that's why you get like that at night. Nobody has these problems without something important happening before, so you're not telling the whole story, there's something behind all that which you're not telling... Did you always have this problem, if not, when did it start?

eh, yeah, sorry, i pick things apart too much and my posts end up looking like a book .

knowing you actually did read all of that is gratitude enough. i hope some of what i said will sink in and have effect, help.

good, it's great that the dog cheers you up every time. maybe try that when you get those, hm, feeling you described. you need to find some way to take your concentration off the sudden(and as far as i am concerned, groundless) feelings of abandonment and concentrate on something positive. because it should help and because to kind of balance out the bad, as you can't take in that much bad and not balance it out with something good. is any form of imbalance never good? i am thinking no. this one especially(if indeed there is as much negative as the post implies while). though you did say that nothing in life is "wrong" so i'd think there is more good than appears. right now you seem to be concentrating on the bad though, so it kind of paints a dark picture.

and it's good that you are not transferring dog's problems on to yourself. that kind of leaves only a couple of options of why you are so uncomfortable at night.
one, groundless fear, which happens to people sometimes, from what i seen, they just pop up from nowhere. in which case, make a consious choice not to let it bother you, as is groundless. try to pinpoint where and when it started popping up and uproot it. two, you had a previous, even if small, discomfort with the dark that you never fully dealt with and that little is being exploited now to add to your pain. three, you never did have any problems with the dark but for some reason believed enough to make it yours now. in which case, again, i'd say try to pinpoint to where it started and when and uproot it.

just so you know, i am not a psychologist, just like to think maybe i can be one someday. so take my advice with a grain of salt. or if you do think to take it, evaluate it with the real psychologist you do see.

another issue is you are telling yourself you can't do something... that, even if you were or are fully capable, kind of leaves you blocked from even possibility to be able to. you are kind of programming yourself to be not able to when you keep telling yourself you can't do something. kind of like setting up your own road block, own prohibition of successful attempts. when you keep talking in a manner where you say you'll fail, you will fail.

you having studied how psychology works, no wonder it helps you less now. you studied some of it, got a grip on it, and by now know it's never perfect. all this, too serves counter productive, as in a way you already told yourself it won't work. you know it doesn't work for everyone, and you therefore(maybe only subconsciously though) may be holding it back from working for you... because you know it won't always work.

that you took a job you don't really agree with as much as history, that too serves as counter productive when you are going to be trying to work out your problems. it brings to the table it's own toll. even if you don't realize it or don't think it does anything. though i do admire a choice to go and help addicts, not if it means you have to sacrifice own dreams. or if you are willing to do that, then when you are at some point truly over the disappointment that came with taking the cash job as opposed to the want and dream job, then you can help them. i mean, more likely than not, some or maybe even all of them, too, will have had experiences of broken dreams of at some point taking cash job as opposed to want or dream job. and how will you help them with this if you never dealt with it yourself completely.

have thought to start a practice with someone else? two or three sharing a financial load and it gets three of you into it is better than you trying it by yourself and not making it work at all. then, when all three are better established, or when you are better established, then you can branch off into, or start, your own practice. something now to build off is better than nothing. this could be great choice also because it will get you into doing something you do agree with(thus like it, even though less than history), which is better than doing none of what you do like and continue being miserable(in this particular thing miserable).

Okay, seriously, stop talking to random people on the Internet about it and seek some therapy. Don't say you can't afford it, either, because that's [censored]. Many therapists operate on a sliding scale and are willing to work with people who have lower incomes. There's also the option of community counseling; that is, educational institutions and other entities offering low-cost supervised therapy carried out by interns building up hours to get their certification. Just Google it in your area. There's only so much you can do yourself for things like this. Don't be afraid to reach out for help and don't feel embarrassed about it. I've spent the past two years with a great intern therapist and he has helped me immensely.

The thing to remember, though, is that the primary factor determining your therapy's success is you. It's painful going into the places that are causing you trouble, but the only way to get through it is to face those problems. Good luck to you.

@Manuel: It did, thank you Well, pursuing history has very little career options. I'd be very against being a curator as it'd probably drive me crazy, and it's not easy to just "become" a historian and make a living off of it. I was considering writing historical fiction but that'd also be a stretch. It takes not only talent but luck to be successful in that regard. Instead, I just made it a hobby instead of a career path.
@The practice, yeah it'd be possible. I of course don't have anyone in mind as of today and I'm also still studying, so. But it's a good idea in the long run, when it comes to it.
This response is actually kinda also to Tosh. Basically these things are rooted within something I'd rather not bring out publicly on the forum. I do know some contributing factors to why I am how I am, and since I kept it a secret until very recently, it's probably a big influence.
@Greg: Well, as mentioned I have had therapy. And yes I can afford it due to insurance and wouldn't have used that defense anyway. I talk to random people on the internet because I am trying everything I can, which seems selfish but on the contrary, getting better would help a lot of people in my life, too.

Thanks to all of you again. I'm not really good at replying to everything you say..

I'm actually at the other end of the spectrum for illnesses, whenever i get sick i hardly notice. first earliest evidence of this is was one day back when i went to middle school (so around 12), i woke up one day felt completely normal until i put on my school clothes, shirt and pants, but that day i noticed that day felt unusually hot after i put my pants on. i decided to take my temperature, as all kids who wish for a day off from school might do, and surprisingly i had a high temperature. although the fever is gone i can hardly wear pants anymore because the symptom of becoming over heated whenever i wear pants never went away so i've worn shorts ever since, even in the winter when theres 2-3 feet of snow on the ground.

People reply because they care. Some of us can empathise, even.

No need to feel that way. I am sure you're amazing. No one's face needs fixing, it's perfect as it is.



I've felt that before. I shut myself from the world and thought everyone was hating me, was judging me for every action. For everything I did, I made a self-put-down towards that, called myself useless, unworthy, unheard...nothing. So pretty much, I felt really depressed, and believed myself to be worthless.

And let me tell you everything I tole myself was a lie. A bloody lie. Don't think the people dislike you. Sure, there may be some people out there that are real bastards, but they are also those that are compassionate. There will always be people that love you for who you are. Take your boyfriend for example. He cares for you.

Everyone is important, deserves to have a meaning and to be seen

Hope this helped.

I actually know a couple of people who have suffered depression who are now studying psychology, as it happens.

Hopefully you'll end up with a job which pays enough that you'll be able to study part time, or even work part time and study full time .