So there's this girl who's a really good friend of mine, but for months now I've wanted to be more than friends. About 3 months ago I honestly thought that we had a thing going between us, I mean I had friends who whenever they saw us together, they thought we were going out... and I thought we were too. Well, one day out of nowhere she sets herself as 'in a relationship' with some guy on facebook. She had always, ALWAYS talked to me about everything going on in her life, unloaded the bad stuff, shared the good stuff, come to me for help and guidance, and then out of nowhere, she's apparently dating this random guy who I had never heard of before, she never mentioned him once in any conversation we had. Well she's still in a relationship with that guy, and I'd like to think I've moved on, but after seeing her tonight, I know that's not true. I've been trying to leave it behind me ever since, I mean, I've started flirting with a girl from my youth group and asked her out on a date two days ago, but I saw Haley (the first girl) again tonight for the first time in a month, and everything came flooding back to me. I care about her more deeply than I've ever cared about anyone, and I want her to be happy more than anything else, but I still have these really heavy feelings and emotions that I've only ever felt when I'm with her... and if she never felt anything before, and is still dating this guy, she obviously doesnt feel that way about me.

inb4alcohol

Eh, you move on eventually. Hormones fade and you realize it was just a crush.

Either that or you become a monk

It's time man, I just broke up with a girl I really fell hard for and I'm still not over it, but every day gets easier.

Sorry if I'm a little up front, but fapping could help :\ Get's the baby batter out of your brain, you know? Helps you think more logically.

That's right

Cut it off and you won't be thinking about her anymore that's for sure

Oh and inb4strippers (edit: you might want to see the strippers prior to becoming a eunuch otherwise there's no purpose)

What...why did you....what... :blink:

Ignore her all the time and never make eye contact, that has worked for me so far.

I'm dead serious, rubbing one out helps you think more clearly because your hormones aren't screaming for intercourse.

Give it time. You think you care about her more than anyone now, but in time you'll care about someone else more than anyone, then someone else, and so on until you settle down with someone (and it won't necessarily stop there). At your age every crush feels like that. Those feelings are a lot less important than you think they are. You can capitalize on it for now and use it to better yourself, it's what I did with my unrequited love.

I don't want her out of my life, I just want to get rid of my intimate feelings for her. She's an amazing person, and the greatest friend I've ever had, and I'd like to keep that if possible

I don't even...

what?

You're not going to be able to, I'm in a similar situation and just forgetting about her completely is a way better option than sticking around and hoping something can happen.

I apologize if anyone was offended. Just saying it helps cope with hormonaly stimulated emotions.

Find another girl.

Problem solved.

/thread

The pain will svck. Give it a few weeks and you will have feelings for another girl. Give it a few years and she will be a distant memory. Go to college and you will replace crushes weekly.



:rofl:

No need to apologize... you just made my night.

I had this problem. Man up, or get drunk and tell her how you feel. Did wonders for me.

I second this.

It works for me...

"Man up", "get drunk".. that's pretty much it.

Could always "man out" as well. No glands to produce the necessary hormones, and feelings of attraction are significantly weakened :hehe:

awww, jjleon beat me to it I see

If she's interested in you, why not take a chance? And if she's not, you'll feel like [censored] for a few days, but after that, it's not so bad.

occam's razor works best in these situations

That's a double meaning if you catch my drift :laugh:

I've been in the exact same situation as you. I feel deeply in love with my roommate once.
What helped for me was that I began to focus on her bad sides (everyone's got them, no one is a saint). I also waited for a long time for my feelings to die down, began looking after other girls. I realised that the main reason I fell in love was because of my insecurities and a desire not to be alone, and she was simply the best girl I'd met in a long time. I accepted the fact that she wasn't going to become my girlfriend, but she was going to be a good friend.

Give it time my friend, and try not to think of her that much, you'll be alright.

1. EchoPop is right, a little rub rub gets some thoughts turned down for a bit.

2. If you really want her.. THEN FOR [censored]S SAKES MAN, WHY ARE YOU LAMENTING ON A FORUM? GO GET HERE! Seriously! If you know this person as much as you claim to, then you should have no problem telling them your feelings! ALL YOU SPINELESS PRICKS THAT CAN'T TELL A GIRL HOW YOU FEEL ARE REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES

Ehem... what I meant to say was that if you care about whats-her-name so much, and if you really want her, then you will get her. Maybe all those times you thought the two of you had something, she was hinting at you?

3. You could realize that by not getting this girl, so many more options are opened up to you. You could find another, or you could pursue a much more ambitious life that won't have you tied down with the responsibilities of keeping your family and lover supported, while also talking to them on a daily basis... for hours at a time... cutting into video game sessions.




Honestly though, I think the best choice is for you to do what you know you should do. Come on, you know there is something you want to do, you just haven't churned up the courage to do it, so I am telling you right now: DO IT! I don't know what it is, just do it.

And finally, don't stalk her please. Don't be -that guy- that stresses her out because he has no self control. If it turns out she's not into you, so be it, game over, play another one that isn't as much of a struggle and has a better reward.

Stay away for long enough and the feelings will fade.You'll still care for her, but you won't be yearning for her the way you are now.

Just deal with them really. If you want to be her friend, just choke the feelings down. They will fade eventually or maybe they'll blossom who knows.