I think the guards need tape on their mouths and it should fix most problems. I mean I usually dont even talk to any person who does not come up to me directly for help.
Thats why the redguards in whitefun are awesome.
Also, most quests can be declined in dialogue, its more so the option telling you in your journal *go here to do this quest* that bothers me more.
The bolded part from your quote is why I believe the redguards in Whiterun are
not awesome.
You can't avoid talking to them and you get a stand alone quest (not relegated to miscellaneous) that you can only avoid if you tab out during the converstion.
Every quest (I'm looking at you, Brynjolf) should have a "not interested" dialog option that keeps it from initiating.
Heck, at the very beginning you get a "Join the Stormcloaks/imperials" "quest" based on a conversation with whomever you choose to aid your escape. There should be a "I might do that/not my cup of tea" option to accept or deny quest initialization. Otherwise, it's in your journal until you complete it or join the other side.
Those particular quests could easily be initialized
by the player at any point by
asking someone at the respective camps.
Same goes for bards college/winterhold/shrine of Azura. Simply being on the listening side of a conversation should not initiate a quest. Ever.
"In Her TIme of Need" is most annoying to me because not only is "accepting" it unavoidable except as mentioned above, but random encounters throughout the game continually point to it. I don't know what the devs particular love for that quest is, but its unavoidability, status in the journal, and the effort taken to continually remInd you of it (despite it actually being relatively minor), is somewhat immersion breaking.