Right, so lately I've been dating this really nice guy, we have a lot in common and have thus far gotten along really well.

The problem is he lives an hour from me, across two mountains, and he isn't comfortable driving in the dark, and unfortunately I don't drive. So, since I still live at home, I asked my parents if they would mind him spending the night so we could go to a furmeet (meeting for local furries) and stay all day, just hanging out in general. They didn't answer at first, and now today I was told that "dating someone and having them stay over isn't prudent."

....................................

What do you say to that? I'm well aware of what they mean, but honestly if I had my own place it wouldn't matter, so why are they not allowing this? I can assure you that if we were just friends the answer would probably be very different. But with us dating, I suppose they fear us doing... Things... Yet we're both 19, so even if we did, it should be a non-issue. This is, by the way, coming from my parents whom met at 16 and were married and living together by 19.

Gah, I have no words to express how unjust this seems to me. Perhaps I should save my money and split the cost of a hotel room just to spite my parents, or crash a a friend's place with him.

Any advice? Have any of you been in similar situations?

Edit: And before anyone says "Their house their rules," I am well aware of that.

Why would you want to stay at your house anyway? A hotel would be much more fun and free for both of you to do whatever you want.

Money, namely. I have a job but I haven't actually started working yet, and thus have no real income. I'm hopefully going to start soon. He doesn't have a job either, and he already has to pay for the gas money to get here anyway.

This.

G'head, get the hotel room. And while walking out of your 'rents house, give them the finger and scream "[censored] you!!"

Honestly, it is their house, their rules. I wish my 12 year old step-son understood that. "Why?" "Because I said so. You don't need any more of a reason than that until you pay the mortgage and all the utilities."

I'd just be blunt and up front with them. Ask them what the harm is and if they can't answer then they can't have such a strong case against him staying over. And if they tell you that they're afraid the two of you are going to partake in "indecent activities" under their roof then just give them your word that you won't.

Honestly sometimes people seem to try and escape confrontations like those so just don't relent easily, ask exactly what it is they dislike and don't take any halfhearted answers from them. After all how can you fix what they dislike if they won't tell you exactly what it is they dislike.

What is a furry?

http://www.talknerdytomelover.com/storage/furry-fan1.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1300242898480

OP, are they comfortable with the concept that you are homosixual?

You probrably should have left out the furry part to your parents.

I got nothing against them, but your parents might.

Their roof, their rule. Deal with it or move out.

Seriously doing something just to spite them is not a good idea, Talk it out with them first,

No, honestly. Not at all. I thought they were, and I was under the impression that they were finally coming to terms with it, but alas it seems they're still uncomfortable with it.

Considering my dad tried to perform an exorcism on me shortly after I came out to them, I'm not sure they ever will be entirely.

There-in lies the problem then, I seriously doubt that even if you asked if a male friend could stay over they would not agree, though I have a sneaking suspicion that if it were a girl they would not only let her stay but find an excuse to leave you two alone all night.

There are really only two things you can do.

1) Accept the fact that they will never fully accept you, at least while in their house, and don't bother with things like this again
2) Confront them, most likely causing a huge argument, and attempt to resolve the situation peacefully.

Either way, I seriously doubt they will ever let you have a boy stay over.

Wow, that is unbelievable.

Unless you can make them lose their prejudices you're going to have to put up with it until you move out, unfortunately. Homophobes rarely change their views.

Have six in his car, meet up another time. Try and find some friends to room with and move out of your parents' place.

This might not be helpful in your situation, and most people probably aren't as cold as me, but I'd just go ahead and do it anyway. You could say something to reassure them, but unless they're going to physically stop you... you and your partner having a good time and having a place to be is most important, especially if there aren't clear reasons why you shouldn't (there don't seem to be).

Well that was interesting. Just had an argument with her which has evidently ended with her in tears. She still hasn't given any valid reason beyond "dates shouldn't sleep over" and as such I have assured her I will be moving out as soon as possible.

I sense this isn't going to end well.

This makes me sick, it's 2011 for [censored]s sake. They're your parents, they need to accept you for who you are. /mini-rant

Honestly OP, you're 19. I know money seems like an issue, but I would just save up for a hotel room. Romantic getaway with the boy across the mountain range! Do it! Make yourself happy OP, you deserve it!

http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/675/675510/brokeback-mountain-20051213061537535.jpg :laugh:


I daresay they would find a way to disapprove however sweetly you put it.

*gasp* how dare people think differently.

But OP, think about it. If they are still uncomfortable with you being a homosixual, what makes you think they will allow you to let him sleep over? Based on your other thread that you made, they dont sound like the type of people that will give into something like this easily.

someone mentioned friends. . any chance you could stay at a friends house?

im still truyig to understand why they wont let him come to your house (where they can at least keep an eye on things) but have no problems with a furry convention.

Possibly.

And it's not a convention, just a meet up. Last time we all went and did mini golf, this time we're going bowling.

Maybe they are afraid of one of you ending up pregnant.

Can you ask them to make a compromise? Can he sleep in another room?

Golly, I′d be worried too if I thought a boy could get pregnant

As for the OP from what you said about her not giving any logical or reasonable reason I suppose you're in trouble. If she was crying she obviously feels bad about it but honestly if they can't get over their homophobia then how do they intend to even be around their son further in the future.

Hopefully you can resolve this but as I′m seeing it I′m predicting it won't be long until you leave the nest for a more welcoming and understanding one.

I - what?

I'm pretty sure she isn't crying because she feels bad about it, rather I think she's crying because I removed her from facebook and thus feels as if I don't appreciate her.

Ehhh....lolwut?