If a Bosmer takes Skooma, does that make him a High Elf?!


GET IT?! A HIGH ELF!!!!KLDGHHUECUHRVUHVRHVV

I've got a good one...

i used to be an adventurer like you, then i took an arrow to the knee...

HAHAHAHAHA....HA!

"Heimskr? But... I hardly know 'er!"







I'll get my coat.

Mudcrabs.

LLOL

Add a knee to that and you have every TES joke ever written!

also, I win

http://www.imperial-library.info/content/jokes

Why didn't the Dragonborn kill the dragon?

His immortal companion did it for him

Skyrim is the best in the series.

A priest of Talos, a Thalmor Justiciar, and a Vigilant of Stendarr all walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says, "What is this... some kind of a joke?"

Arena is the greatest, the rest were all dumbed-down and made for console noobs.

Alright, you're nice.

In Arena, inside the Cities, there was a great range of Characters that you could interact with. Smoe were dressed as Jesters and they would talk and jibe at you with (racename) style jokes much like those from the above Imperial Library site.

gamesas Y U no longer put these characters in the Cities. You did not need to have anything apart from talk interaction. They made the City interactions very enjoyable. There were other characters; females of negotiable morals, of whom you could ask of City Rumours and Job leads. The Jesters with the jokes, Wizards and Rogue types whom would give different types of leads on employment and places about the cities.

Why did Bethesda not put passwall into any other games?

It hurt too much.

You're enchanted weapon? Is it like a sliver of night? Is it curved? A curved sword?

Go on... touch my monkey.

Why was the unemployed adventurer thrown into prison and tortured severely after a visit to the Keep?

He personally pleaded before the Jarl for a Skyrimjob.

That one actually made me laugh.

So, what about the story of the Dragonborn who had a studder and a lisp? What a disappointment.

Here's a good one. One day, the Dovahkin was travelling through Whiterun when Nazeem stopped him to say: "Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying-" Unfortunately, Nazeem never got to finish as the Dragonborn had whipped out his sword and cut off his head. It's funny because Nazeem is dead.

Why do khajiits have nice armour, swords, spells, and clothes, but not houses?

They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet.

Did ya hear about the Orc who got his left leg and arm cut off?

It's okay, he's all right now.

While at the beach with Lydia, the dragon born found a mollusk. The dovakiin said "Hey, come look at this clam, Lydia."
she replies, "what?! I thought you said you were clean?!"

I'll be here all night.

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwims6RV2K1r81wpoo1_400.jpg

But then I got an arrow to the knee xD

"How is your wife," asked Zalither.
"She's in bed with laryngitis," replied Harlyth.
"Is that Argonian back in town again?"


"I keep seeing spots before my eyes."
"Have you seen a healer?"
"No, just spots."

A Dunmer man killed his wife after catching her making love with another man.
When the magistrate asked him why he killed her instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered it better to kill one woman than a different man every week."

I used to tell skyrim jokes, then I took an arrow in the knee.



...sorry guys/gals, too tempting

Your Alduin it wrong.