Why are they fail? Am a thief, i like my pickpocket skill and lockpick skill? I like my heist's go smooth and such..
No fail skills.. its.. all.. what.. you.. enjoy... playing..
Or everything is a fail skill..
Block? Why block when i can chug potions in paused mode?
Alchemy? Why? I can buy potions..
Destruction? Why? I have followers with destruction spells
One handed? Why there are two handed
two handed? Why? There are one handed
Enchanting? Why? There are magical gear out there
Blacksmith? Why? There is no must have your forged weapons.. Repair is not required in this game. And the armor is out there (Not sure of daedric but daedric is no must have anyway to do well in this game.. I still have steel on my non-magical-items warrior and he still do well at level 40)
i can go on but dont see the use of it..
My point is that it all comes down to what you like, your playstyle, how smooth you want your character to succeed with things.. (Such as lockpicking master locks for example, or steal that awesome weapon your target has in its hilt)
Your list is very far-fetched if not ridiculous and doesn't change the fact that there are skills that are underpowered to a critical state, what some people call "fail". With your argument there could be a skill named "Badassitude" that does absolutely nothing, you would say it's a good skill because you like to take it for your badass characters. That's RP yaddi yadda... Roleplaying isn't about skills, it's about narration.
Skyrim's Speech is a problem because its perks can be useful in some situations, but it levels really slow when you need it and too fast when you don't want it.
It's clearly a mercantile skill only, as the dialogue choices aren't choices. 99% of the time, you have one bland answer, one persuasion and one intimidation. You try persuasion, if it doesn't work you try intimidation. Those can be little shortcuts in the quest, but when you fail both and don't want to Tab out, put on some Speech bonus equipment and try again (yes it works), then you just choose the bland answer and at worse you have an additional "go fetch me [item]" and that's all.
As a mercantile skill, it costs a lot to raise through Training, thus failing at its own goal : making more money. Also it's dependant to your other activities : without dungeon sweeping or massive stealing (through the Thieves Guild, as Fence perk is very high), you can't use it. There's no way to buy low, sell high by travelling from place to place, there's no market. So basically, if you want more money, you don't invest in Speech, you do one more dungeon, one more bounty, you rob one more character.
So there's really a problem with Speech currently, and we can only hope for mods and expansion with quests developped with Speech in mind. If a team develops a New Vegas-like mod for Skyrim, Speech will have its place.