So does the order of taking vampire lord and necromage matter? Do you have to have NM before VL or vice versa
As far as I know, no. All that seems to matter is that you take Necromage and become a Vampire Lord prior to taking any perks you want to be affected. After that, the only thing to keep in mind is that the only perk I am aware of with any negative consequences as a result of this exploit is Steady Hand. Either take Steady Hand 1/2 or take Steady Hand 2/2 before Necromage. Beyond that, take whatever perks you like. If you are willing to do a bit of digging, there was a PC forumite that did extensive testing on these perks to see what was affected by Necromage and what was not. It is of great use to those who want to see a fair assessment of what their character will look like after the glitch before engaging in the exploit.
I also feel the need to add how Necromage effects vampirism buffs. The Sneak and Illusion buffs never get increased by Necromage. It is believed that the reason for this is because the buffs are applied simultaneously with vampirism after Necromage, so they never get the opportunity to receive the buffs. I should warn everyone, however, that any buffs that can change such as the benefits/weaknesses that change with Stage 1-4 vampirism will see a buff. Your health, magicka, and stamina will take a much larger hit, as will your weakness to fire. As a result, I'd strongly recommend keeping Auriel's Bow handy and playing as either a Dunmer or a Breton.