Ok so, tell me who you hate in Skyrim and how you would like them to die. The death must be creative and fun. IT MUST MUST MUST ALSO BE FUNNY AND INTERESTING.


THE DEATH MUST BE FUNNY/INTERESTING. FOR EVERY DEATH THAT IS NOT INTERESTING OR FUNNY I WILL KILL A SWEETROLL. NOBODY WANTS THAT KIND OF GUILT ON THEIR SHOULDERS.

Also, this thread is generic. This shouldn't offend anyone now.

If you talk about the Civil War then.....http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UfAL9f74I

Now all the necessaries are out of the way, ENJOY!!!

2 threads were recently locked because these discussions involved a certain female Breton in the MQ.

Ok, there's only one person I hate more than Tullius and all the milkdrinkers. Elisif. So, what I'd do to her is use the upgraded Fusrodah to disintegrate her by shouting for the irony of her lies.

Valdar. I want to kill him, resurrect him, then kill him again...

Then resurrect him... then kill him again... then resurrect him... then kill him again...then go and torture some random Draugr for absolutely no random reason... then resurrect Valdar... and kill him again... then resurect him again... then kill him again... then resurrect him again.. then bluff making him react in self-defense,,, and then kill him again...

Then resurrect him...

In before Ulfric posts...

On-topic: Elenwen and I want her to die by being eaten by a King Mudcrab

Braith... That little brat should learn how to fear a Necromancer who is almost 300 years old... But no, she won't be afraid of me, even if I am her elder T_T

How to kill her? I don't know... maybe a Sparta Kick to her little smart mouth while she is standing right next to the ethereal gate to Sovngarde, in Skuldafn. That would make me feel as happy as killing the Adoring Fan on Dive Rock =P

We're off to a flying start people! So far no sweetrolls have been killed. Keep it up!

Also, Gandalf hasn't had to have been called in to action.

Maven Blackbriar. She's worse than Delphine - at least the worst case of just ignoring Delphine is having her rot harmlessly in an ancient temple far away from anywhere she can do any damage.

Every day Maven Blackbriar lives, innocent people suffer.

To kill her... Oh, I dunno. Maybe knock her into a vat of Mead and watch her try to drink herself out. (If you can't see the humor in that, you've not seen enough Beerfest)

Cicero. Unfunny clown leader of the clown brotherhood. It truly ruined it for me. So much that I haven't done the Clown Brotherhood questline since 2011. I think i'm going to start it just so that I can stab, stab, stab him with a spoon. Or Soul Tear him. Definitely going to Soul Tear him. If only I could Soul Tear him into that damn wagon...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyMa1pJoBCI aughhhhh! That @#%^&**$ voice!

Sweet Roll...

I kill them by posting my Pacifistic ways of me not wanting to Kill things.

Lady Mara has disapproved of me.

This

Using the Wabbajack, I turned a Thalmor patrol rather amusing things. One became a rabbit and ran off a cliff, another became a sweet roll, and the last became several gold coins.

You know who I hate? Sapphire. So what I'd do is abandon my nord honor and join the thieves guild to gain her trust, then I'd use that trust and make her love me. Maybe write a love poem like:

A goddess's gaze graces me, by looking in my vicinity,

Like shining stars, a thousand suns, spreads heat in me like fire,

This woman dives down to my desolate soul, beauty that of divinity,

She speaks, nay, sings and whispers and says "My name is Sapphire",

A name not given in negligence, given from one of intelligence,

'Cause clearly a jewel gives credence, to she who stands in my presence,

I hope this woman will walk with me, and that our love withstands,

The tides of the timedragon will not wane our love, if she in marriage takes my hand.

Then we get married and I give her a second chance of happiness...only for me to come back to our happy home in LAKEVIEW MANOR where a bandit ransom is left at my door. Then I go to rescue her, only after I kill all of them (since I'm not THAT big of a [censored], come on people, lol) I leave her in the cage and say "I don't have any business with you, so get out of my face". Then I go home.

That poem burned a hole in my love-depraved, decayed, and rotten heart. If my bodily functions were as adequate as ye olde days, I might have shed a tear.

Mogrul one of these days I might completely flip out and soul trap him.

Thalmor, Imperials, and Stormcloaks

Death by Hevnoraak nuff said.

I hate that guy in Whiterun who preaches about Talos 24/7. I mean, you can worship him all you want, but shut up about it.

How will he die, you ask?

I will throw him into a barrel full of Alto Wine, equip the flames spell, then burn the guy to a near-death stage. As he is struggling for life, I will attack him with my Wabbajack, transforming him into a few gold coins. I will then proceed to donate each of those coins to every beggar in the game. No one will be able to trace that murder.

Lol, now imagine how she'd feel if the one who wrote her that left her to rot in some cage? LOL

Why not just turn him into a sweetroll and eat said sweetroll?

I'll punish them good... again and again and again and again. Arrogant mortals, the whole bunch of them.

Should have left her with me. I'd take good care of her, give her a proper re-education.

But first I will need to borrow your mask for a while.

*rips mask off of Hevnoraak's face and terrorizes Markarth*

Siddgeir.

He has done nothing in life to deserve his indulgences, so he will not get an elaborate death. I would like to bring him his Black-Briar mead and then bury a shiv in his guts.

Stendarr's Mercy...

this is gold. Pure, Septim gold.

Because the beggars benefit this way.