Fantasy rpg′s are littered with bizarre things, the level of realism that the game system aims to provide is only to the point where it pleases the player′s personal preference. We don′t have shoe sizes or keep track of female menstruation cycles or other realistic features because we don′t want them.
Indeed. But at the same time, we want to ride on horses rather than being ridden by horses, we want swords to be faster and more elegant than big hammers, we want shields to offer protection and an off-hand weapon to offer further offense, we want enemies to bleed when we cut them rather than shoot flowers out their ass, we want fire to burn and frost to freeze. We want an understandable, reasonable universe in fantasy settings. Not 100% realistic, of course, because getting instantly killed at any point in time by a stray arrow that hits us in the eye would svck badly, but REASONABLE.
If you fall down too far then your hurt yourself. That's reasonable. If you stand in front of a dragon too long then it might chew on you and kill you. That's reasonable. ANY big, battle-hardened Nord can carry exactly the same and jump exactly as heigh and swing with exactly the same force as ANY frail Breton woman. That's reas... No wait, it isn't. It's no less bizarre than horses taking a giant horsedump on gravity, as they happily run up mountain walls that would make goats suffer from vertigo.
In Skyrim I customize a character with a heavy body frame, a high skill in two-handed and a really really big axe, now he is strong(1)...if he stands next to a waitress he looks strong, if he wields his axe into a bandit, he appears(2) strong, if I want to keep building this character as a strong barbarian I must focus on gaining more skill and perks to reflect this and this means I will disregard other skills and perks, all in all, I am doing the same thing in terms of character development as when I pick stats or attributes, without crunching numbers.
At point 1, your character looks strong but isn't. Because there is no strength in the game. In fact you can't make any "strong" character because "strength" is a term completely foreign and alien to the game model. There are not strong or weak characters whatsoever. You can pretend that he is strong, just like you can pretend that he is smart or a drooling idiot, but there's no support for your imagined detail anywhere in the game.
At point 2, you used exactly the right word. Appears. Your character may appear to be strong but the fact is that whatever strength he appears to have does not correspond well to the way "strength" is usually interpreted. A Bosmer female with the same perks but a background story of being a technique-intensive sword-master would not appear strong but she has exactly the same stats. With attributes, she'd be medium strength but high agility whereas your barbarian would be the opposite. With attributes, we could tell those two apart. Without attributes, we simply have to imagine the difference.
If that's what it comes down to, that we have to imagine everything ourselves without the game actually supporting any of the character choices, then why are we calling the game an RPG to begin with? Surely you could also imagine a ton of different backstories for your Diablo 2 toon. Would you call that an RPG? Have you ever done any role-playing in D2?