Eh, your friend needs to grow up. This is no different than having a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite six. If you were a girl and he was a straight guy it wouldn't be acceptable, and the fact that it's hard to be gay isn't an excuse. One of my best friends from my youth came out our sophomore year of college. If he's any indicator, it definitely does get easier as people get older and figure out where they fit in socially. Sure, he's made reference to his thinking I'm an attractive guy with regard to women, but he's never indicated that he ever thought our relationship would be more than good friends. If he ever had that thought he was smart/mature enough to leave it alone. If he's really your friend he won't let those feelings get in the way of your friendship.

You can't say that as a fact. I know plenty of people who figured out their sixual preference in their mid 20's. People for whom it indeed turned out to be just a phase. He's very young. People are what they are and often that is simply confused. And by the way, my comment included the OP.

Well, if you do continue to hang out with him, if he continues with trying to... uh... touch you, then tell him to stop, straight up. If he continues, give him several more warnings. If he doesn't get it by then, punch him in the face. Seriously. Tell him you aren't gay, then leave.

http://www.lambda.org/Gay_student_facts.htm By 14 most will know who they are and what they want - gay teens just aren't as free to express it.

My thoughts on the accuracy of such "facts" aside, is that supposed to somehow invalidate what I said? I did not say that it must be a phase because he's 14, but it very well might be - based on his age and my own experiences. His age did affect my view of the whole situation. Your insinuations that I feel how "being gay is something that you should keep your fingers crossed really isn't true" because of that are frankly insulting.

Wow, most of these facts are really depressing, I had no idea :/

Well I really am no expert but I read through the end notes and quite a few of the sources seem to be very reliable, like official surveys and commission reports. However, most if not all of the sources are from the 80s or 90s, since then I think the situation of gays in the U.S. has probably improved quite a bit (right? :unsure: )

As for the OP you have already received lots of advice and don't really know what to suggest. I do know that it is hard to be firm with friends who are flirting with you when you're not interested. All I can say is, don't let the situation remain the same by being too patient with him, it won't do him any good to have hope you'll change your mind. Regardless of him being gay, friendships can be destroyed when one of the friends likes the other in a way that can't be reciprocated (speaking from personal experience here).

I retract what I said about cold cocking him upside the head.
Giving him any physical contact whatsoever after inappropriate touching will encourage it. Hitting may not be the physical contact he wants, but he may settle for it.
Some people just get off on the conquest, continually pushing closer and closer to the edge, trying to acclimate the intended target to their unwelcome advances. Most people that are targets lash out phsyically, some cringe and endure it. Either way, inappropriate touching should not be tolerated, or rewarded with physical contact.

When and if he touches you inappropriately again, immediately get up and remove yourself from the situation. Cut him off socially, it is cruel, but he needs to know that his behavior is unacceptable.

Agreed, every word.

The earlier advice about just cutting him off until he behaves is one I'd echo. I know it's really hard to be friends with someone you have an unreciprocated crush on, but it's something he's just going to have to deal with, as do most human beings in their lifetime regardless of sixual orientation. It's about him respecting your boundaries. Yes, it's hard for him to deal with because he's facing feelings of loneliness, rejection and a physical longing for romantic connection with another person, and all that is entirely normal. As said, it's really no different to him being a lonely girl with a crush on you - it's still unwanted attention from someone you don't want to drop as a friend.

I'm sure as soon as he finds himself a boyfriend, he'll forget all about you in that way and stop creeping you out. So, in addition to backing off from him and/or avoiding situations where you're both alone, un-subtly push him in the direction of gay message boards and get him in touch with other people who can reciprocate his feelings.

Whenever ive been in the situation where one person in a friendship has feelings the other does not, ive found some time apart does some serious good. All it takes is to find someone else to have those feelings for, and then the friendship can carry on as normal

Best of luck to you!

I think it wasn't until my late teens that I had my own preferences figured out, though I wasn't especially interested at all prior to that, so I guess it's more a case of "late" rather than "confused". But it's possible to be significantly older before you even figure out what you are, so to speak. Not really sure what conclusion to draw from that.

In a man +man relationship who makes the sammich. a man without a samminch is like a man without a wooden club or a man without a raised truck with really large wheels thus making the truck useless for you can not utilize then truck bed.

Insightful.